You had been lying on the couch peacefully for the last two hours, enjoying your favorite movie together with your favorite ice cream and a box of tissues, because god you did need those. Yes, your favorite movie was a cry movie and you had already seen it over ten times but still it never bored you, for you this movie was perfect and it still made you cry every single time, it touched you deeply. Maybe it was because of the fact that every time you watched it you could let out all your worries and stress and could just blame the fact that you were crying on the movie if someone asked you about it.
 

While putting a new spoon of chocolate ice cream into your mouth you frowned, before staring down on your spoon and noticing there was nothing on it. It pulled your look down to your ice cream and it was only then that you noticed you had already completely finished it. With a cute, innocent pout you tried to ignore those annoying thoughts that tried to penetrate into your head, saying ‘this is going to make you fat. Baekhyun is even going to love you less if you get as fat as a cow.’ The thought made your face pull together in a hurt expression and you quickly ran to the kitchen to throw the empty pot away so that it wouldn’t be able to bully you like that anymore.

Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea if you would start working out for two or three times a week, a little healthy movement never hurt right? Forgetting about your movie completely after you had put your mind on this, you walked towards the mirror in your bedroom and looked down on yourself. You were wearing your slob looking hoody which you always wore after you had showered just because if made you feel comfortable. Under that you had combined some sweatpants and it didn’t actually showed off the  figure you had. You couldn’t deny that you were getting a little chubby these days, maybe it was because you were no longer walking to work since a few months ago.

It wasn’t like you cared about what other people thought about you, you weren’t trying to seduce anyone anymore. The one who you were trying to impress after all this time was your one and only husband. Normal people would tell you that you shouldn’t be bothered about it because if he was your husband, he would love you no matter how you looked. Bu the problem was that no matter how you looked and how you had ever looked in the past, he didn’t love you, he had never loved you and he would probably never love you. Two years ago your parents had decided for the two of you that you completed each other, that you would make each other happy and you would fall in love with each other. But they had been wrong, it hadn’t been an arranged marriage that the two of you had wanted, and especially not Baekhyun.

He was angry at you for taking away his chance of finding real love and having fun in his life. You had bounded him to you, and for that he was still making you pay today, by making you feel unloved. The last time he had ever given you a complement, you couldn’t even remember that and that was probably because it had never happened. Sometimes you wondered that if you wouldn’t have been settled up with Baekhyun, if you ever would have found someone who loved you as much as you loved him. You loved Baekhyun and you wanted to do everything to safe your relationship. But sometimes you wondered if you’d be happier if you’d just leave him, get over him and search for someone else.

Even though you had never admitted it and you had never told him before, you loved Baekhyun. After living with him for such a long times you had learned how to admire his qualities and had accepted his shortcomings. The thing that you found sad was that he wasn’t feeling the same, or at least he had never given you any clue that he did. He did act as normal as possible against you, he talked to you like he would talk to someone else he knew. He never scolded you or was never mean to you, but he lived beside you and not with you. It was as if he accepted you as a friend he was supposed to be living with and nothing more than that. You didn’t sleep together, didn’t have any intimate contact with each other and never had any personal conversations.

It just made you realize that you were missing something. You also wanted to feel how it was to be in a love relationship and to be loved by a man who only had eyes for you. You wondered if things would change if you’d tell him how you felt, maybe then he would just think of it as an option because you didn’t think he did that now. He had probably never even thought about you as his love before because he had never kept is as an option that it would work out in between the two of you. Besides, how big was the chance that in an arranged marriage husband and wife would ever feel the same about each other? Everyone knew what an arranged marriage meant, it meant that you were put together by you