To others it had seemed like a great idea, while you still hadn’t been able to find the fun behind all of this. But who were you to complain, if your boyfriend wanted to have this relaxing afternoon with you and wanted to spend it at his pool, then you weren’t going to say no. The most important part was that you could spend some tome with him after having to miss him for so long. The fact that you couldn’t have him all to yourself didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would, by now you had grown comfortable with being around his band members. Still this wasn’t the activity you would have chosen, not even close. What was wrong with spending a quiet and peaceful night on the couch and watch a movie? But it had been some time since Baekhyun had been able to come here and to do something like this, so you weren’t going to stop him. When he had asked you to come you had almost said no, saying that he had to go without you and that he should have fun with his friends. But he had been staring at you with those big puppy eyes, begging you to come along because it wouldn’t be the same without you. Sweet to say those things, but while thinking back about that now you realized you shouldn’t have fallen for his charms, like you always did. He just had his own way to talk you into these kind of things, making it impossible for you to say no to him. Now you were sitting on a chair by the side of the pool, keeping a safe distance from the water as you watched the others having fun. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to have fun or that you were annoyed because Baekhyun hadn’t agreed to do what you wanted to do, it had nothing to do with that. 

It was just that you were terrified of water, just the thought of the deep and unpredictable hole in the ground filled with it made your heart beat like crazy. You had been like this ever since you had been a child, your parents hadn’t been able to change it no matter how hard they had tried. Taking a shower or a bath was a very hard activity for you during normal days, but it was different. Then you could stand with you two feet onto the ground, and you could step away any moment you wanted. A pool was something completely different, it was big and while being inside than water would be the only thing you could see. It didn’t matter if you moved into another direction, everywhere around you would be water, and only that. Just the thought of having to step in there was filling you with pure anxiety, a feeling you always had during these kind of situations. Because of your childish fear you were unable to swim, making it that you were stuck here on the edge, trying to avoid the water as it came splashing your way. You couldn’t help but stare at Baekhyun as he hopped around in the deep, barely able to stand on the tips of his toes as he chased after one of his friends. He seemed like he was having such a good time and you wished you could join his little world, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take even one step closer to that pool. Inside of your head you were thinking of all different kind of scenarios to get yourself out of here, just to go home. Maybe it would hurt Baekhyun because you would leave like that, but he would get over it. It had been a very long time since you had felt this uncomfortable around him. 

The main reason was that he didn’t understand why you were being like this. You were assured of the fact that he would laugh at you if you would tell him about what was really going on. Everyone knew how he could be, he loved to turn everything into a joke, to tease others and to have fun and you did too, but not about this. This was something that had been bothering you ever since you had been a kid, something you had been bullied about and something you didn’t want to share with others. The less people knew about your fear the better, this wasn’t something that everyone had to know. He had asked you to join him a few times, splashing water your way in the hope to encourage you to come in, but you hadn’t changed your decision even once. There was no way you were going to get near that pool, there was no way you were going to go into the water. He looked great in his swimming shorts, his wet hair sticking against his forehead as he tried to swap it towards the side from time to time. His skin seemed to shine after he came back up after a dive, and you wished that you could touch him, even if it was just for a second. But just by the way that he acted you could see that Baekhyun loved being in the water, loved being a part from it. Some people felt as if they floated while being inside of a pool, as if they were lighter, but you had never experienced that before. Maybe you were just being ridiculous, maybe you just had to put yourself over it and give it a try, but this wasn’t the time you wanted to do that. There were too many people around and before you would give this a try you wanted to tell Baekhyun honestly about what was going on. With the other guys around you would only be even more embarrassed so you wanted to avoid that situation. 

It had been an hour since you had gotten here and you were slowly starting to get bored. Everyone seemed to be having such a great time that they seemed to have forgotten about you plottering at the side. Their playful voices filled your ears and for a moment you couldn’t help but smile, trying to remember when had been the last time you had heard this. These boys were always so busy, so focused on living their dream that something they forgot that life could be filled with these kind of small moments. Just walking around in their swimming shorts, messing around in the water and joking around with each other. During times like these they had the feeling they could be normal again, even if it was just for a small moment. You wished you could be a part of that, for Baekhyun, so that you could make this even more fun for him. Your eyes darted towards the pool, staring at the water as if you were trying to challenge it, but once again you seemed to loose. You couldn’t do it, you had been trying to overcome this anxiety for so long now and you still hadn’t found a way to do it. It made you feel bad about yourself, it made you feel weak, because after all it wasn’t like you were up against a very powerful enemy. The call of your name made you wake up from your dazed state and you li