The music blasted inside of your ears, your heart beating at the sound of the bass. People around you were having a good time, holding red cups inside of their hands filled with some sort of liquid. There were too many people inside of this house and you knew that whoever had decided to throw this party was already regretting it by now. He would have to explain to his parents tomorrow where this mess came from and why there was vomit all over the carpet. It wasn’t your problem though, you would be out of here long before the drama would start, there was only one reason why you were here, one person who had led you towards this place. The dancing bodies around you were sweaty and sticky, and you ignored the guys who glanced your way as you walked by, trying not to feel creeped out by their stares. You didn’t need to talk to them to let them know that you weren’t even slightly interested, the only thing you had to do was look at them. These students weren’t your friends, you weren’t here because someone had invited you. Normally these were the kind of places you avoided, where drunk people would gather to get even more drunk together. When a well known face appeared in front of you you frowned in displeasure, trying not to stare at her too much revealing outfit and her bright red lipstick that looked as if it had been kissed by multiple boys already, or girls, everything was possible in a place like this. “____________! I didn’t know you were coming!” She yelled, much too close to your head, your eardrum shouting in annoyance at you. The only thing you could do was deepen your frown as you tried to ignore the strong alcoholic smell that came from her, it was enough to almost make you drunk instantly. 

“You know why I’m here.” You muttered, your voice barely making it over the loud music, it wasn’t even that good. The beat was too fast, something you couldn’t even properly dance to. But no one else seemed to care, it seemed like you were the only one that noticed. She pulled a face at you, clearly unamused by what you said, but you doubted that she even understood you in the first place. No, this surely wasn’t the place you had wanted to be tonight, but you didn’t feel as if you had any other choice. During the past few months you had been sure that it wouldn’t matter, that you would get through it, that this was what you needed. Instead you had been unhappy, feeling lonely and out of place. You were going to try and fix that tonight, you were going to do whatever was inside of you power, but nothing more than that. She grabbed a hold of your shoulder, guiding you away from the people who were bumping into you, spilling their strong drinks over your top and hair. You shouldn’t have taken a shower before you had come here, it didn’t matter anymore. The porch was less crowded, but filled with all the couples who had tried to flee the battle field and who had wanted some time by themselves. You tried to ignore the sloppy sounds of kissing and tongue twisting as you focused your eyes on the girl in front of you, someone who you had once used to call your friend. It had been time that had slowly driven you apart along sided with some common sense. She was a party animal, you liked to go out but not on a daily base. She had all the boys of the school wrapped around her pinky finger while you had only one guy you were interested in. The two of you just didn’t fit together and neither of you seemed to mind that faith had separated your ways. 

“Please don’t tell me you’re here to see him? God, ____________ I thought you had finally gained some dignity after you left him.” Her voice was harsh, but you ignored it, blaming it on the many drinks she had had. You could already imagine her laying on the couch tomorrow morning, wishing that she had been smarter, but still repeating the same process next time. The only thing you did was tilt your head towards the side, you didn’t think she was the one who could talk to you about dignity as she had ed half this town. “Just tell me where he is.” You crossed your arms over your chest, feeling more comfortable in your slightly defensive pose as you waited for her answer. There was a chance that she would refuse to tell you and let you look for him yourself or she could just sent you away so that she could go back to her other friends and could forget all about you. You knew that as soon as you would be out of her sight you would probably vanish from her mind, tomorrow morning she wouldn’t remember that she had seen you. The two of you stood across of each other, something you hadn’t done since a very long time and it made you feel slightly uncomfortable. A group of boys walked in, joking and goofing around with one other, pushing each other against the shoulder. It wouldn’t surprise you if one of them had just been flirting with some girl and they were teasing one other. “He’s outside, but I don’t think he’s excited about seeing you.” She eventually said and you thanked her with a small head nod. There were no other words exchanged, not thank you’s or see you soon’s, you couldn’t even bring yourself to smile at her before you turned around and walked through the door. Sometimes you would become strangers again even if it was a person you had thought to know so well. 

From the moment you stepped out in the fresh air you could hear the sound of his melodious laugh floating your way. It made you wonder if you should leave, if it was a bad idea that you had come here. Maybe he was having fun, happy that he could finally spend some time without you, something you had thought you would be in for, but a plan that had doomed soon enough. How much you wished you could turn back time, go back to the moment you had told him goodbye. You could still remember the look of pure disbelieve inside of his deep brown eyes, slightly hurt but he hadn’t wanted to show you that. The break up had been completely unexpected and out of the blue, but that was just the kind of person you were. You tightened your arms around your body, hearing how the music faded into the background as you walked through the grass, dew covering the tips of your shoes. It wasn’t a cold night, but what you were about to do seemed to divest all the warmth inside of you. He was surrounded by the people he loved most, his friends, and you adored the beautiful smile that was plastered onto his face. But it seemed to hurt you that it wasn’t pointed towards you, that it was meant f