Tears continuously flowing in her pale cheeks as Jessica kneeled down, shaking trying to reach the broken frame. Upon retrieving the broken frame, the blonde girl wipe her tears to see the picture clearly. The tan girl whom she’s been living her whole life and the little girl that she never dream to have is smiling widely, brightly, eyes that are sparkling, in short they are truly happy. Looking at the other side of the picture, Jessica saw herself. Not showing a mere emotion compare to the two girls beside her, her face is somewhat the opposite of the duo’s expression. Jessica frown and look intently in the picture.

“What is missing?”

“What is the problem?”

“Why she can’t see anything in her eyes?”

“Why she’s not happy in this picture?”

“How come this frame has an effect on her?”

“Why she’s bothered seeing the broken frame?”

“Why she shed tears seeing the broken frame?”

Bunch of questions fills Jessica’s weary mind while still staring at the picture then again tears fell, rolling slowly in her cheeks down to her jaw then tear drops in the picture. Closing her eyes tight, wondering and asking herself of the sudden behavior and unknown agony she felt in this instant.

“I shouldn’t be crying. I should not cry. I’m not weak.” Jessica chant in her mind.

“Hey..” Jessica pull the kneeling girl and buried her face as she let her mind and heart do whatever it wanted to do. Sobbing sound is the only noise that can be heard in the office. Minutes pass, Jessica stop crying but still her face in deeply buried in her friend’s chest, no one dared to talk, no one wants to break the deafening silence. Soft ruckus was heard when Sunny moved herself into a comfortable position. Debating if she should break the silence or not, Sunny press her lips tight then cleared .

“Jess..” Sunny softly called out, rubbing the latter’s back, Jessica pull back enough to face her friend.

“You need time alone, take a vacation and try to think things seriously this time. Try to understand yourself and maybe in that way you’ll know what you want. This is the true face of reality and life Jess, there’s no easy way to have a happy ever after story, you need to work hard to have it. Think things thoroughly or you will end up losing everything.” Jessica buried her face in her palms while shaking her head.

“Sunny, I’m confused. I don’t know what to do. I can’t face my father. What about my mom? I can’t stand to see their faces Sunny.” Sunny look up in the ceiling and heavily sigh.

“Jess, I don’t know what are you looking for or what you really want. You have everything that every girl in this world would die just to have what you had right now. Sometimes we wanted so much that we forgot what we already have. Freedom, everyone wants to possess that one Jess but in your case it’s different, it’s so complicated, so, I don’t know how to call it.” Jessica stood up and walk towards the window. Looking at the busy street, the blue sky and the leaves that was blown by the wind.

“Sunny can you book me a ticket to US.” Sunny press her lips together while looking at her troubled friend’s back.

“Ok, but Jess losing someone has its advantage as well.” Jessica turn around and confusedly eyeing the short girl, Sunny force a smile and sternly looking at the blonde girl. Staring directly in Jessica’s eyes, Sunny let out a bitter smile.

“You will realize their worth and how much you needed them. On the other hand, it’s sad to think that it’s already late to have them back.” After blurting her thoughts Sunny went out in the office leaving the bewildered blonde girl rooted on the same spot she’s standing earlier, it seems like she doesn’t have enough strength to even make a single movement.

Letting out a heavy sigh Jessica drag her weak legs towards her table and sat tiredly in her chair.  Swaying her negative thought, wanting to empty her messy mind Jessica grab her purse and went out of her office.

Stepping in her car, the blonde girl drove away without a destination. Looking at the unfamiliar road, she let her eyes wander in the new scenery just then memories of her child hood clearly pop out like it just happen yesterday.

Flash back…..

A little blonde girl was running around the garden, shouting happily, chasing the butterflies and dragon flies when someone called her, turning her head towards the person calling her Jessica beamed a toothy grin and wave her hand frantically.

“Mom…” Jessica yelled with a wide grin plastered in her face.

“Come here. How many times did I told you to keep yourself clean? Look at yourself Jessica.” The grin in Jessica’s face vanished like it was blown away by the wind. Looking down, heaving in disappointments the blonde girl force herself to go back to their house.

Her mom once again lecture her with the proper attitude, proper dressing, and proper posture, proper sitting position and everything that is proper. Jessica was raise like a puppet, every move was criticized and was corrected, unlike Yuri, were the tan girl can literally do whatever she wanted aside from the tough exercises and hard workouts that their fathers did but still the thought that Yuri can do whatever she want to do is way better than what Jessica is in. The blonde girl can’t decide anything for herself, like as simple as, what to eat, what to wear. Anything and everything in her life was decided by her parents, particularly by her mom.

“Mom, I want to eat ice cream.” Jessica make sure her whine and pout are irresistible so that she can have an  ice cream but unfortunately, like what always happens, her mom denied her craving and again lecture her that it’s not the right time to eat ice cream and it’s not good to eat ice cream or else she will get fat. Fat girl is ugly, not acceptable and will have a miserable life.

(Please don’t misunderstand that sentence. This is just a fiction, I used that line “Fat girl is ugly, not acceptable and will have a miserable life” to fit in my story. Hope everything is clear.)

Her eyes become blurry when tears starting to fill her eyes, shoulders starting to shake and her lips starts to quiver.

“Jessica, why are you crying? I didn’t raise you to be a crying baby. You cry over that little things? Are you that weak?” Mrs. Jung roared and roughly lift Jessica’s face to face her.

“Are you that weak?” Jessica can feel the Venom and deadly poison along with the cold tone of her mother, scared of her mom, Jessica force herself to shake her head as she bit her lower lips to stop it from trembling. Trying hard to calm herself, Jessica pinch her thigh to stop herself from crying.

“Good, now go to your room. You are grounded.” Jessica immediately hop off the couch and run to her room. She went directly to her bed and buried her face in the pillow to muffle her sobbing. She thought her pillows, bed sheets, stuff toys and blanket are the only witnesses of her agony, sadness and somehow she can say misfortune, but she’s wrong, Yuri know and saw everything. And that’s one of the reason why Yuri work hard to be tough and strong so that she can protect her best friend/sister, her own princess.

Yuri was there to cheer her up but she can’t laugh out loud coz it’s improper. She should cover whenever she laugh and she should minimize her chuckle and laughter.

Knowing the situation, the tan girl build a mini camp where they can be alone. Fortunately, Yuri was able to get their parents permission to hang out in their minicamp alone. Jessica was happy coz in that way she can be whoever she want it to be although it’s only for a few hours because Jessica have ballet lessons, piano and violin practice and so on. She’s like a princess that every move and gesture should be proper, should be acceptable and should be exquisite.

“Don’t walk like that.”

“Don’t sit like that.”

“Eat like this.”

“Wear this.”

“Take this course.”

“Don’t ever disappoint us Jessica.”

“This is for your own good.”

“This is for the best.”

End of the flash back.

Shaking her head, Jessica tightly grab the steering wheel and shouted at the top of her lungs. Memories that she contain and suppress at the bottom of her being is starting to hunt her again. Letting out a few drops of tears Jessica bit her lower lip to stop herself from crying, wiping her tears away, fixing her hair as well as her make-up, the blonde girl went out of her car and went in the center of the field. Raising her shaking hands to touch the beautiful pink flower, as soon as her shaking hand touches the flower Jessica breath hitch and pull her hands away from the flower then step back. Gulping a large amount of saliva, Jessica look down in the ground. She bend down and grab a few dirt, closing her eyes, Jessica stood up and throw the dirt in the air.

“I’m… I’m… I’m dirty now. Dirty now.” Jessica stutter as she felt the dirt fall over her head, face, shoulders, feet and chest. Staring at her dirty hands, Jessica mockingly chuckle then laugh out loud looking at the sun about to set. The blonde girl stayed standing, eyes locked in the sun set.

“It’s beautiful.” She murmured and smiled genuinely. It’s the first time she witness this kind of scenery alone,