“Shocked? Huh…Clarise?” he asked and I just stared at him.

I was trying to remember all of our conversations and I’m so sure that I didn’t tell him about my real name. How did he know about it?

“I’m Isabel…not Clarise” I told him and he smirked.

“Don’t try to hide it from me coz you’re already busted” he said and I looked at him in disbelief.

“Really? OK…that’s all good” I said pretending that everything is OK.

“The only question now is…why did you change your name? Are you hiding from someone?” he asked and I suddenly felt nervous.

“You know what? It’s none of your business…but since you’re asking…fine…I’m gonna answer your questions…just for you to shut up” I said confidently and he waited for me to continue.

What will I tell him? Why can’t I think of a way to get out of this? This guy is really getting on my nerves.

“I…I…I changed my name because…I….I just…I just feel like it!...and Isabel is my mum’s name anyway…I just want to use her name” I said and he nod but I know that he’s not convinced with my answer.

“OK…I’ll go with that…but since I know your real name already…I’ll call you Clarise from now on” he said.

“No you can’t!” I said.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I don’t want to” I said and was about to walk away when he grabbed my arm.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“It’s ridiculous…it’s been weeks and for some reason…I just can’t get over us…you’re always in my mind…seeing you but not being able to hold you and talk to you is killing me…it’s difficult to stay in one room with you because…I have to control myself to not kiss you in front of so many people…I love you…I want you so bad” he said and I looked at him in shock.

NO! He can’t! Why am I feeling so heavy about this? Shouldn’t I be happy coz I won my deal with Trish? This is what I want right? To make this man fall in love with me and break him in the end.

“OK…here’s the thing…we are not dating…we are not even going out…we are nothing…I am not your girl…I am not yours…there’s no romance and no crappy words…no PDA and no spooning…what happened to us is purely physical…if we have ….it’s gonna be safe …we’re friends….with benefits” I told him and ran away.

Damn these tears! Screw this heart! Why am I hurting? Why do I feel like I’m lying to myself? My heart is telling me that I have something for him but I don’t trust myself coz I know, I’m just going to hurt him in the end.

I have to get out of here as soon as possible, I can’t take seeing him hurting, it’s really painful.

“Hey Charles” I called my brother.

“Hey! Wait…are you crying?” he asked worriedly.

“No…I’m not…uhmm…I think my eyes got irritated awhile ago…that’s why it’s red and teary” I reasoned out.

“Are you sure?” he asked and I nod.

“I am…don’t worry….can I borrow your car?” I asked him and he looked at me suspiciously.

“Huh? Why? Where are you going?” he asked.

“I want to go home already…I’m so tired” I answered.

“I’ll drive you home” he said and I shook my head.

“No…I can drive…I know you still have lots to do here…don’t worry…I’ll be careful” I said and he looked at me intently.

“Fine…here’s the key…go home and wait for me there…don’t sleep yet…I can feel that you’re carrying a big problem and I’m ready to hear you out” he said and I nod.

“Whatever! I’ll go now” I said and went off.

All I need now is to organize my thoughts, bring myself back together and erase all the things that happened these past few days. I need to fix myself, be normal again and move on. I’ll block any feelings that I have because it will just make things worse.

I know that it’s better for me to shut my mouth about this whole thing. After all, I’m not even sure if I really love him because first and foremost, love is not part of my world. What’s good about saying nothing is that, you lessen the tendency to hurt others, the bad things is, you never really realize how keeping quiet hurts you.

“Little sister! Are you still awake?” Charles asked when he entered the room.

“No…I’m already sleeping” I answered and covered my face with the duvet.

“hahaha! You’re so funny!” he said sarcastically and sat beside me.

“I don’t want to talk” I told him.

“Clarise…whether you like it or not…I will make you spit it out…you’re making me worry already” he said.

“I told you…this is nothing…I’m just tired” I said and he removed the duvet from my face.

“Oh gosh! Look at you! You’re eyes are popping out of its sockets from crying and you look so horrible!” he said and I sat up and wiped my tears.

“Why am I like this? Why am I a player? Why am I stupid? Why do I see men like they’re toys? Why can’t I trust them?.....Why can’t I force myself to love? WHY?” I asked and broke down.

“I can’t answer all of your questions coz I can’t even remember them all…GOSH! I can’t believe this! My little sister is crying because of some heart problem” he said and I kicked him lightly.

“This is not a heart problem…this is just a simple and plain problem…I’m just confused” I told him and he laughed.

“You’re heart is already giving in...am I right? It’s already tired from breaking other people’s hearts” he said and I smirked.

“NO…that’s not true” I said.

“Seriously…I have a feeling that you’re falling in love…and I know who the lucky guy is” he said and I looked at him curiously.

“What the heck are you talking about?” I asked.

“Good night little sister…sleep tight…don’t let the DRAGON bite you” he said and I grabbed his arm, making him fall back down to bed.

“What did you say?”  I asked.

“Huh?” he asked.

“Did you say dragon?” I asked and he laughed.

“Why? Is dragon a bad word already?” he asked.

“Yes…for me it is” I answered and he put his hands on my shoulders.

“Clarise…if you like a person…go ahead and get them before he give up on chasing you...a lot of girls are wishing to be in your place right now…don’t let this slip through your fingers…this is the experience of a lifetime” he said and I looked at him in disbelief.

“STOP IT! I don’t know what you’re talking about…actually…I can’t understand anything…I think you’re already sleepy…or dreaming” I said and he laughed.

“Fine…deny it…that will really make you cry buckets of tears” he said and I pushed him away.

“Whatever!” I said and lay down in bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Next day)

“Clarise! You’re phone is ringing non-stop!” Charles shook me by the shoulders.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re phone is ringing and it’s annoying me” he said and I snatched my phone from him.

It’s Trish calling and the moment I saw her name on the screen, I immediately got my laptop from the study table and went out to the living room.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Skype…NOW!”  she said and hanged up.

Trish can really feel if something is happening to me and this is all I need, a talk with my bestfriend.

“Hey!” I said the moment her face appeared on the screen.

“Oh my gosh! Why are your eyes so puffy?” she asked and I sighed.

“I slept too much…how are yah?” I asked.

“Well…I’m annoyed…so annoyed that I want to bang my head on the wall already” she said and I laughed.

“Why? What happened?” I asked.

“It’s my dad…he doesn’t want me to go there…he’ll take me to Venice and tour me there” she said.

“What? You’re dad is really a fun killer…he and my dad are really fit to be friends” I said and she nod in agreement.

“I hate this! I don’t want this life anymore…I’m so stuck here and I don’t even know what to do” she said and all I want to do is hug her.

“Nippy…don’t worry…you’ll get out of there soon” I said and she looked at me suspiciously.

“I know…you