(2 days later)

There are things in life that we cannot control no matter how hard we try and how much effort we give into it. There’s a saying that things happen for a reason, well, I have believed in that since I was a kid, but I guess this is just too much. Why are there so many challenges given to us? Before, I’m fine with it for I’m just fighting for myself and I’m not protecting anybody, now, I have kids to protect and shield from any negative things that will be thrown to us. Honestly, with all of this things happening to us, it’s like God is telling me that Jiyong and I are really not meant for each other.

It’s been days since all the negative news about Jiyong came out. We’re still being calm about it, but as time passes by, everything is just getting bigger and bigger and it’s becoming worse. I haven’t expected that this will really ring a bell and will shake his career and reputation. Eun ae really made it big and the way she opens everything to the public is really making it more badly.

“Honey…just turn off that laptop and stop reading those bulls” he told me when he walked behind me and saw that I was reading a new article once again.

“Jiyong…why aren’t you defending yourself? I mean…I thought YG sajangnim got your back…Why isn’t he doing anything about this?” I asked and he sighed.

“YG hyung is doing something already…we will release an official statement about these things later this afternoon” he answered and I shook my head.

“But that’s not enough! Jiyong…look at these s…there are so many stories being made…all of them are negative…fine! Your fans has been fighting for you…they’re giving their all out support…but…this whole “I’m not going to talk” tactic of yours…it won’t help…it will just make you look guilty” I told him and I can feel that I’ve annoyed him already.

“Clarise…will you just…stop…I mean…there’s not much space for your nags this time” he said and my blood started boiling.

Did he just tell me to stop from talking? Fine!  I’m being one heck of a here, who is just thinking about him and how to get him out of this mess. And what did I get? A hot headed man telling me to stop nagging?

“You’re being a terrible person” I told him and walked out of the room.

I hate having these kinds of arguments with him. I know that he’s going through a lot these days and he’s so stressed with everything, but he doesn’t have to put all his frustrations and negativity in me. I’m just being a good partner, I just want to make him feel that I care and he has my support no matter what happens.

“Mommy” Jayda called.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Daddy is crying” she said while pointing at our room.

“Just let him be little girl…daddy’s just tired” I told her and she gave out a pout.

“Are you fighting mommy?” Jinni asked and I sighed.

“No...we’re not” I answered and he hugged me.

And this is the effect of this whole thing to our kids. They can feel that something is going on and they are so eager to know what it is. Yesterday, they wanted to go with Jiyong to the YG building but he told them not to go for it was dangerous and it made the kids really sad. I hate it whenever they ask questions and I can’t even answer them honestly because I know that no matter how long my explanation is, they won’t even understand it.

“I’m going to the YG building now” he said after having his little drama moment inside the room.

“OK” I said and he just got his bag, kissed the kids and went out.

So now he’s mad at me? Gosh! When did Jiyong become this narrow minded? He’s being a jerk nowadays and it’s totally annoying me.

“Oh nippy!” Trish said when she opened the door.

“What’s happening?” she asked worriedly and wiped my tears.

“I’m tired…I don’t want this anymore” I said and she sighed.

“You know what? You’re always saying the same thing to me…over and over again…you’re tired…you don’t want this anymore…nippy” she said and hugged me tight.

“I just want to help…to be there with him…to make him feel that I’m here no matter what…but he’s pushing me away” I said in between sobs.

“Look…I asked Tabi about this whole situation…and I’m gonna be honest with you…nippy…Jiyong’s career is now on the verge of falling down because of all this Eun ae bull…that girl really made a noise using the media and you know how powerful it is…she’s totally breaking Jiyong into pieces…and she will not stop till she get enough…right now…everybody thinks that your man is a cheater…that he’s a user…and a killer…for they say that he is the reason why that girl almost died and the reason why she committed suicide…there’s too much going on right now and I think the reason why Jiyong is pushing you aside now is because he doesn’t want you to be dragged in all of this” she said.

“I know that…but…I can be his shoulder to cry on nippy…he doesn’t have to face this problem alone…the reason why I’m here is for him to have somebody to lean on when times gets rough…I feel so helpless because I cannot even do anything…I’m ready to pay all those media people if I have to…but I’m scared that Jiyong will just get more mad at me for doing such stupid thing” I told her and she nods.

“They can fix this nippy…I’m sure that Eun ae will run out of issues to throw to Jiyong already…coz as of now…she has thrown almost all the aces on the table…there’s nothing more left” she said and I looked at her intensely.

Wait. No. Eun ae still have some aces under her sleeves and it is us. It’s me and the kids. I’m praying for her to just spare the kids for them not be in a mess as well. I don’t want them to be dragged in this for they are innocent and once the people learns that Jiyong has been hiding his children from the public, I’m so sure that they’re going to feast on our kids and everything will get ed up.

“She still has me and the kids” I told Trish after a long silence.

“Nippy…please…if she happens to drag the twins in this…I’ll be killing her and I don’t care if I’ll go to jail” she said and I shook my head.

“If she touches my kids…I will really give her what she deserves…I’ll definitely bring her to hell” I said and Trish nods in agreement.

“This is just too crazy…I didn’t know that being an idol’s other half can be this chaotic” Trish said and I sighed.

“I’m afraid now…I have a feeling that Jiyong will just break up with me coz he doesn’t want me to get involved in this” I said and Trish looked at me in disbelief.

“Nippy…remember what you always tell me before? If you love someone…it’s your duty to save them from themselves…you can still save Jiyong from going insane…just stay beside him and don’t let him do anything stupid…it’s hard…but it’s really supposed to be hard coz if it wasn’t…it will not have worth” she said.

My mind is just so full of what if’s and how to’s right now and I’m afraid that it might explode any moment from now. I don’t know where my toughness is these days, I feel like I’ve become a weakling for I cannot even think of any solution to this problem. This is the first time that I stepped back from a fight and it’s just so not me.

Time passed by and I’m still fighting with my own self. I’m thinking of a good solution to stop all these things but my mind is not cooperatin