So I guess this is goodbye for Clarise and Jiyong now. Thank you so much for being wonderful readers all throughout. Love you guys!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                                                                                     

Oh Lord! Help me! I really don’t want to trip while walking down the aisle. Why did I even choose a very stair-y venue in the first place? I should’ve stick with that smooth straight path that Trish told me. Gosh!

“Charles?” I called and my brother looked at me.

“How do I look?” I asked and he chuckled.

“I’m serious!” I said and slapped his arm.

“Look lovely sister…I know that your nerves are eating your innards already…but there’s no room for you to worry about anything now…you’ll be walking down the aisle in a few minutes and all you have to do is rock it” he said and I sighed.

Seriously, I don’t know what to feel right now. All of them are telling me that I look great and that everything is going to be fine, but I just can’t help but worry, I’m dying to get married already for I’ve waited for this for a VERY LONG time.

“OK! We’re starting!” the coordinator said and I took a deep breath.

“Mommy…why are your hands so cold?” Jinni asked and I bent down to hug him.

“Mommy’s very nervous” I said and he kissed me on the cheek.

“Don’t be mommy…I’ll be holding you tight for you not to fall” he said and I hugged him again.

I’m just so thankful that my kids will be walking down the aisle with me. The twins are really waiting for this moment and they’re just so excited to hit and rock that aisle while I’m shaking because of nervousness.

“Little girl…is mommy going to be fine?” I asked Jayda and she kissed my hand.

“You are beautiful mommy!” she said and I squeezed her hand.

“OK kids…walk first…then Clarise…you follow after” the coordinator instructed and I smiled at her.

This is it! My whole entourage has entered the hall already and I’m the only one missing. My knees are shaking and my palms are sweaty. This is really blowing my mind off and I just want to get this done.

“Go kids!” the coordinator said.

The moment the doors opened, that’s where I felt panic and freaked for it’s already sinking in that I’m really getting married already. The mere fact that I got a glimpse of what’s waiting for me inside is enough to make me go insane.

“Clarise…are you ready?” the coordinator asked after the twins walked.

“I guess so” I answered and she fixed my dress.

“We’re going to open the doors now” she said and I sighed.

OK. This is really not a joke. It took me a few seconds to absorb my environment and the whole vibe of the place. I can’t believe it! I feel like I’m in paradise. The moment the doors opened, all I can see are our guests looking at me and smiling warmly.

“Don’t cry” I told myself as I start to walk.

The moment I heard the background music playing, that’s when my tears fell down. Jiyong is the one who chose my bridal song and it was all a surprise till now. He chose the song She’s Always a Woman to me which is one of my life’s theme songs. Thing is, he didn’t even know that I love that song. Well, I guess our brains are really attached together already. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkfkJCyqCBc

                                                She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes

                                                She can ruin your faith with her casual lies

                                                And she only reveals what she wants you to see

                                                She hides like a child, but she’s always a woman to me.

                                                She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you

                                                She can ask for the truth, but she’ll never believe.

Trish is so true when she told me that the moment I walk down the aisle, my whole life will flash back at me in a matter of a minute. My whole life has been full of hatred and pain, but it’s all worth it for I ended up with a man who will never let me drop a tear. Yes, we are not perfect and there will be times where things are going to screw the hell up, but at the end of the day, I’ll still have someone who is going to love me unconditionally without any doubts.

At last! I’ve already reached the end and Jiyong is holding my hand already. The way he looks at me is PRICELESS! He’s melting me with his stares and it’s just so crazy for I’m totally blown away with that.

“Ready Mrs. Kwon?” he asked when we reached the altar.

“Yes Mr. Kwon” I answered and he kissed my hand.

“Jiyong and Clarise…today you enter as individuals…but you will leave here as husband and wife…blending your lives…expanding your family ties and embarking upon the grandest adventure of human interaction…the story of your life together is still yours to write…all those present have come to witness and celebrate your love and commitment this day - eager to a part of the story not yet told” the priest started.

My tears are pooling up once again when the priest started to speak. Jiyong can feel me shaking and he’s trying to calm me with brushing his thumb on my hand.

“Love should have no other desire but to fulfill itself…but if your love and needs must have desires….let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night….to know the pain of too much tenderness…to be wounded by your own understanding of love and to bleed willingly and joyfully…to wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving…to rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy…to return home at eventide with gratitude…then to sleep with a vision of the beloved in your heart and a song of love on your lips”

These words strike us BIGTIME! Jiyong and I found ourselves sniffing like there’s no tomorrow while hearing the reading. This thing right now is the real deal and we both know that we’re up to something more challenging the moment we face reality once again.

“You were born together…and together you shall be forevermore…you shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days…but let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you…love one another but make not a bond of your love; let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your soul”

I don’t know why, but I feel so relaxed already and my nerves have calmed down too. Oh well, I guess I really have to drop all of my worries and just enjoy this whole thing.

“I…Jiyong…take you Clarise…to be my partner…loving what I know of you…and trusting what I do not yet know…I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together…getting to know the woman you will become and falling in love a little more each day…I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us” Jiyong said while looking deeply in my eyes.

This is just so crazy! I feel like he’s eating my soul with his heavy stares.

“I…Clarise…take you Jiyong…to be my partner…loving what I know of you…and trusting what I do not yet know…I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together…getting to know the man you will become and falling in love a little more each day…I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us” I said in return and he smiled sweetly at me.

Here comes the ever emotional exchange of vows. OK. Actually, I’ve made my vows months before the wedding and have revised it over and over again up until I came down with the decision to not write anything at all. I know that it won’t be sincere anymore if I’ll have it on paper, so I might as well make my brain work even if it’s getting a little liquid already.

“Clarise…I love you…not only for what you are but for what I am when I am with you…I love you…not only for what you have made yourself but for what you are making of me…I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart and passing over all the foolish…weak things that you can’t help dimly seeing there and for drawing out into the light…all the beautiful belongings that no one else had looked quite far enough to find” he started and my tears fell down automatically “Honey…before you came into my life…I’m this super confident and workaholic man that is so lost with everything…my mind is just so full of things and I can’t seem to find my real happiness…but when I bumped into you in that club and saw the pureness in your eyes…that’s when I told myself that I’ve already found my match in this world…you are the one making me sane and without you this man is dead…all the things that I’m doing…you and our kids are my inspiration for it…I’ve made mistakes here and there…stupid decisions came out of my mouth as well…but in the end…we’re still here and you’re still the woman that this heart of mine is beating for…you keep me going Clarise…you are the motor of this machine and you are the light of my dark life…I thank God for bringing you into this world…I love you so much” he said with tears falling down his cheeks.

Oh gosh! I told you! This whole vow thing is really emotional and I can’t believe that Jiyong is crying in front of so many people. I’m so overwhelmed and moved by the things that he said, I know that he is sincere with every word and he’s just so perfect in my eyes.

“From the beginning of my life…I have been