I’M GOING CRAZY! Why is this happening to me? Seriously! My life right now is as complicated as my relationship. Truth is, Jiyong and I shouldn’t be shaken by what’s happening to me right now for we both know that we’re stronger than this or I’m the only one thinking about that.

Well, I’m going back to Korea today for I have to straighten my fiancée’s super twisted mind. I can’t understand why Jiyong is being so dramatic nowadays and he’s like giving up in this challenge already. Yesterday, when he told me that my dad has a point and he’s totally making sense, it made me want to slap him on the face hard so that he can wake up and come back to his senses. It hurts whenever he’s saying that to me, I feel like he’s turning his back on me already.

“Are you ready to go now baby girl?” Gramps asked.

“I am Gramps” I answered and he patted my shoulder.

“Everything is going to be fine between you and Jiyong…I have a feeling that he’s just a bit scattered all over the place right now…these problem is taking over him badly and it’s affecting the way he think…all you have to do is understand him and assure him that you will stay with him no matter what” he told me and I sighed.

“He’s really going to get it from me later Gramps…he’s being so inconsiderate of my feelings” I said like a child who was being bullied in school.

“Baby girl…you don’t have to be mad at him just because of what he told you…it can just be a burst of emotions and he himself doesn’t know what he’s saying anymore” he defended and I hissed.

“Why do I have a feeling that you’re on his side? I mean…Gramps…I was hurt because of what he said…I really need some sympathy here” I told him and he laughed.

“Baby girl…I’m just telling you what I’m seeing…Jiyong is actually thinking way too much…but we can’t blame him…it’s much better to think about the possibilities than make yourself believe that everything is going to be fine” he said and it kinda hit home run.

Fine! He did nothing wrong and there’s no point to be mad at him, but I’m one stressed woman who needs to breathe some air and some assurance that I’ll pass through this problem without making any additional ones. All I want is for me and Jiyong to be one in this.

Mom and Gramps send me off with the twins. I’m so thankful to my brothers for they will be the ones doing my work while I’m in Korea. Actually, this whole thing is making me and the twins closer and that is the only positive thing. Gosh! I’m going back to my real home now and I’m totally anxious right now.

“OK Clarise…welcome home” I said when the plane landed.

The moment I stepped a foot in the airport, my heart raced so fast and I feel excitement and anticipation. I’m dying to see everybody now for I’ve been away for almost a month and all I want to do is go back to my normal self and don’t think about anything. At last! I’m home!

My nerves are shooting up while on the way to our apartment. Nothing has changed and I feel so home now. I think Calvin is right, I just need to take a breather and rest my tired brain and body.

“Oh gosh!” Trish said when she opened the door.

“Hey!” I greeted cheerfully.

“Nippy! What a surprise!” she said and hugged me.

Seriously, Trish is getting chubbier as days goes by. What is this girl eating? Gosh! She has totally added some weight and all I can do is stare at her for I know that once I tell her about what I’m seeing right now, she will totally freak out and maybe even get mad at me.

“Why didn’t you say that you’re coming back today?” she asked while helping me with my luggage.

“Surprise!” I said.

So Jiyong didn’t tell her about our heated conversation yesterday and I’m actually thankful to Trish for telling Jiyong about my conversation with dad, at least it made me come home right away.

“I’m sorry” she said and I looked at her in confusion.

“I know that I should’ve shut my mouth up…I just feel like telling Jiyong about your conversation with uncle…he told me that you’re going home today and that is because he said something that made you really mad” she said and I sighed.

“So…you’re just pretending to be surprised?” I asked and she nod shyly.

“Nippy…it’s all fine…this is what I really need…I have to come back to straighten things up and to cope up with Jiyong as well…our relationship is really all over the place right now and we have to put things in its original places already” I told her and she smiled at me.

“Nippy…I know that Jiyong is thinking of giving up already…he told me about his dilemma and I got mad at him because he’s being a sissy with everything right now…but then again…I can feel that he’s only doing this to make things much less complicated” she said and I rolled my eyes.

So it is really true that he’s ready to sacrifice our relationship just for the sake of the company, and he’s fine with me marrying another guy. Gosh! He’s totally insane and he really needs some serious talk later.

“I can’t understand why he’s thinking that way…I mean…fine…I have thought of choosing my dad’s suggestion as well…but…I can’t even imagine marrying another guy that is not him…I can’t take it…and you know so well how much I love Jiyong…and the last thing I’ll do is leave and hurt him” I told her and she nods in agreement.

“You and Jiyong needs to talk things out nippy…now is the time to clear all misunderstandings…you’ve been really in chaos these past few days and all you need to do is lay down all your cards and from there decide on what to do…but please…don’t let yourselves suffer so much” she said and I sighed.

My mind is once again being shaken up and I’m thinking of ways on how to talk Jiyong out of this misery. I know that we will not think of something stupid and I will not agree with all his stupid thoughts. If I have to give up the company, I will just for this relationship to go back to normal again and I don’t care what Jiyong say about saving it or something like that.

“Where are they by the way?” I asked while cooking dinner.

“They’re at the YG building…rehearsing…those guys are really in a great pressure now…their concert’s gonna be in three days” she answered.

“I can’t wait to see Jiyong already” I said and she slapped my .

“Why do I feel like you and Jiyong will be rocking the night away later?” she asked and I hissed.

“As if!” I said and she looked at me in a teasing way.

“Why? Haven’t you missed THE ?” she asked and I chuckled.

“I’m missing it…but I don’t think he’s up for it coz I’m sure that he’s too tired to even move a muscle once he gets home…plus…we have to talk…so there’s no room for or any hanky pankys tonight” I told her and she nods but not buying it.

“I’m serious!” I said.

“Fine…fine…fine” she said and I laughed.

Trish and I cooked dinner for the boys and I’m shocked with her because she can already cook and her Kimchi Fried rice is really good. She said that TOP’s mom taught her how to cook and I can really see how happy she is and that makes me feels so good.

“So…you’re close to TOP’s family now?” I asked while eating.

“I am…they’ve been really kind to me and I’m so happy that they have accepted me even if things went so fast for me and Tabi” she answered and I smiled at her.

“It’s a good thing that you’re in good terms with them…at least…you got yourself another support system…whe