I don’t know if I’m actually welcome in his apartment. G-dragon looks so shocked the moment he saw me. The moment I heard him say my name, my heart went wild.

“uhmm…Jiyong-ah…Clarise cooked us dinner” Taeyang spoke out after a long silence.

“That’s right hyung! It’s really daebak! Very delicious!” Seungri said and I smiled at him.

“Really? Thank you” he said and I nod at him awkwardly.

“Y…Y…You can eat now if you want…I…saved some for you” I told him.

“I’m not that hungry yet but I’ll eat it later…anyways….thanks” he said and I can really feel the awkwardness getting worse.

It is very awkward indeed and all I want to do is run away and never show up in front of him again. I feel like I’m not even welcome in his house and I’m just someone who he knows but never cared about. I don’t know, maybe I’m just thinking too much but that’s how I really feel.

“We have to leave now…I’m really tired” Taeyang said after sometime and I suddenly felt sad.

I know that the moment the boys decided to leave, I have to leave as well. Of course, I won’t stay here any longer because I can’t even last the coldness that he’s showing me.

“OK…let’s go now for Jiyong to rest” Charles said and I nod at him.

“OH! You’re not staying here?” TOP asked me and I looked at him in shock.

So, they were really thinking that I’ll be the one watching over G-dragon. Well, I don’t think I can last a night with him.

“uhmm…I’m…not” I said while shaking my head.

“So…are we going now?” Charles asked me.

Truth is, I really don’t wanna go. My mind is telling me that I have to go because I don’t have the right to stay with him anymore while my heart is telling me to stay because this is the time that G-dragon needed me the most.

“Yeah…I think we should leave now…I mean…you’re already tired” I told him and I can feel G-dragon’s heavy stares at me.

“OK…c’mon now…guys…we’ll leave first...is that fine with you? Jiyong? Any reactions? Suggestions?” Charles said and they all laughed.

“I’m all good hyung…thank you for taking care of me…and…Clarise…thank you for dropping by and for the food” he said and I smiled at him awkwardly.

“No problem” I told him and he gave out the sweetest smile that I’ve ever seen.

Charles and I said our goodbyes after that and the moment I reached my apartment, I’m battling with myself. I really want to go back to G-dragon’s apartment again and take care of him up until he’s OK, but I just can’t find the courage to even knock on his door.

“Clarise…I’m going to my apartment now…are you sure you’re OK here?” Charles asked.

“I’ll be just fine…don’t worry about me” I told him.

“Why do I have a feeling that you’re going to knock on Jiyong’s door later and stay there with him?” he asked and I laughed.

“I don’t know…but what I know is that…I’m tired…and all I want to do now is sleep” I said and he smirked.

“Really huh?” he teased.

“Yeah…didn’t you see him awhile ago? The way he reacted when he saw me in his apartment? I feel like I’m not welcome” I told him.

“You’re nuts…I saw a different thing…and I’m telling you…it’s obvious…he doesn’t want to let you go…he wants to protest about you leaving but you agreed with me right away when I asked you if we should go already…I was actually expecting you to tell me that you’ll stay for a while or something” he said and I looked at him in disbelief.

“Oh well…what’s done is done…I’m already here and I’m about to sleep…I really think that he’s fine so he don’t need someone to watch over him already” I said and Charles shook his head.

“Truth is…this is your chance to get your man back” he said and walked out of the room.

“Wait! CHARLES!” I shouted and followed him out.

“What?” he asked.

“What do you mean by that? This is my chance to get my man back?” I asked and he smirked.

“It’s for you to figure it out lovely sister…goodnight…see you tomorrow honey bunny!” he said.

“Charles! C’mon!” I whined.

“Go inside now…all the cameras here in the hallway is seeing your ” he said and I suddenly remembered that I was just wearing my underwear and a tank top.

“Whatever!” I said.

I can’t understand what my brother is talking about. Why would this be my chance to get him back again?

I decided to sleep early but even though my eyes are closed, my mind is still working and G-dragon is the one running in it. Is he feeling fine? Have he eaten already?  Gosh! This is really killing me!

OK. I don’t care anymore. All I want to do now is take care of him and make sure that he’s all good. How can I leave him? I’m so stupid!

I ran out of my apartment the moment I realized that he needs me. I don’t care about what I’m wearing, after all, I have nothing to hide anything, he saw everything already so it’ll just be nothing to him.

I know that barging in someone’s apartment is bad and illegal but this is the only way that I can think of. The moment I entered his apartment, I saw an empty living room and it was so quiet. The whole place is actually giving me that sad feeling and I can’t even understand why.

“Jiyong? Jiyong?” I called out as I carefully walk towards the living room.

OK. Maybe he’s sleeping already. I will just check on him and I’ll go right after. Yeah!

The moment I opened the door, I saw him sleeping in his bed. I went near him and just stared at him for I don’t know how long. He is skinnier now, he looks so tired even if he’s sleeping and I can tell that he’s not happy. I’m actually seeing myself in him. We’re both miserable and we’re both dealing with pain.

“Why are you here?”

Oh ! I didn’t even know that he’s awake. I mean, I’ve been here in his room for a good thirty minutes already. Don’ tell me he’s awake all this time.

“uhmm…I’m just…checking on you?” I answered unsurely.

“Checking on me?” he asked with a smile on his face.

“Y…Yes” I answered.

“uhmmm…are you OK now?” I asked after a long silence.

“I don’t know” he answered and I touched his forehead unconsciously, which shocked him.

“Jiyong! You’re so hot! You’re burning actually!” I told him in panic.

“Calm down…I’m fine” he said and I shook my head.

“No...you’re not fine!…have you eaten already?” I asked and he shook his head.

“What?! Jiyong…are you trying to kill yourself?” I asked.

“I really want to eat the food that you cooked…it’s just that…I don’t have the appetite” he answered and I smirked.

“You have to force yourself to eat…wait here” I told him and went out of the room.

I immediately heated the beef brisket and Kimchi fried rice that I save for him, then I decided to make potato soup as well. 

I am so damn worried. His fever is so high and when I touched him, I feel like I’m touching an overheated pan.

“Jiyong?” I called.

“OH! Let me carry that” he said and immediately sat up but he fell back down in bed again.

“Jiyong!” I shouted in shock and hurriedly placed the food tray on the side table.

“Are you dizzy? Is your head aching? What?” I asked in panic.

“I’m fine” he said and I sighed.

“Here…eat this soup first” I said and started feeding him.

“This tastes good” he said and I smiled at him.

I don’t know but I feel so happy. The mere fact that we’re beside each other is already happiness for me.

“Here” I said feeding him “Tell me…is my kimchi fried rice good or bad?” I asked and he started thinking.

“It’s…ba…good” he said in a teasing way.

“It’s just fine if it tastes bad…after all…this will be the last time that I’ll be cooking for you” I told him and he just looked at me straight in the eyes.

After that, we became so awkward to each other again. We are so near to each other but it feels like we’re so far apart. We’re not talking at all and every time our eyes meet, we will just look away in a snap.

“I’m fine now…it’s already late Clarise…you can go home already” he said and I shook my head.

“No…I don’t want to leave yet…you need someone to watch over you” I told him.

“But you might get sick as well” he said in concern.

“I don’t care actually…my system is not that weak…so I think I can take that kind of virus” I told him and he sighed.

“Wait…you should rest now” I said and he just stared at me.

“What? I’m telling you to rest now” I repeated.

“But I don’t want to be in bed” he said and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Jiyong…you really have to rest…I mean…how will your fever go down if you’re going to be this stubborn?” I asked.

“OK…I’ll lie down in bed now” he said and I nod.

“I’ll just wash these dishes then if you need something just call me…I’ll be in the living room” I told him.

“Seriously…Clarise…I’m fine…just rest now…I know that you’re also tired…you can go home now” he said.

Why do I feel like he’s pushing me away? I mean, can’t he see? I’m having the time of my life here with him and here he is, pushing m