(3 days after)

My memory is lost, a lot of me was erased, I feel empty but the people around me are filling that emptiness and I’m so thankful that they’re here. I’m afraid, I don’t know if I can face the real world in my state right now. I know that I can’t hide within the four walls of this white room, but why do I feel so scared to face reality? How will the world look at me now? How will I deal with its people, knowing that I’m still figuring out how to deal with myself?

“Are you excited?” Trish asked while helping mom pack my things.

“I don’t know” I answered and they stopped packing.

“Little girl…what’s bothering you?” mom asked and I shrugged.

“OK…I know that right now…you’re afraid of what might happen to you once you get out of this hospital…little girl…don’t be afraid…remember that you’re a strong woman…you just take life as it is and fear is not in your vocabulary…I know that you’ll be able to adjust well with things and don’t worry…we’ll help you bring back those missing pieces back” mom said and hugged me.

“But…I don’t know anything from this world…I’m stuck in the past mom…and as much as I want to get out of it...I can’t…and it ” I said and she wiped my tears.

“Little girl...you have lost your memories but you still have your heart…and that heart will bring you back to the present time…just listen to it and never think that you’re stuck…you’re going to be fine…I know it” she said and I burst out crying.

This is how afraid I am. I feel like the world will gonna swallow me whole once I step out of this hospital and its people will not be that welcoming. I am a strong girl, but right now, all I want is someone who will catch me if ever I fall.

“What’s happening here?” Charles asked when he walked in the room.

“Why are you crying?” he asked upon seeing me.

“She’s having a little moment…she’s afraid of the world” Trish answered and Charles joined me and my mom and hugged us.

“You’ll be fine lovely sister” he said.

“Jiyong!” Trish called and I jerked up to look at him.

“What’s the matter?” he asked worriedly.

“Are you hurting or something?” he asked and I shook my head and hugged him.

Well, Jiyong and I are still in the process of getting to know each other and he never fails to make me happy every single day. Actually, he already got my trust and I can feel that love is on its way too. No. It’s not that I don’t love him, but I’m slowly feeling the intense love that I have for him before all of this happened.

“Stop crying…please” he said while rubbing my back.

“I’m scared…I don’t know what’s waiting for me outside this room” I said and he cupped my face with both hands.

“Don’t be scared…there’s nothing to fear…Clarise…we are here to guide and help you in every step of the way…especially me….I will not let go of your hands till I’m sure that you can walk on your own again…I promise that” he said and I sighed.

“Stop crying now nippy….Jiyong is right….there’s nothing to fear coz Trish is here” Trish joked and I burst out laughing.

Wow! Trish is still Trish. She still has the ability to make a joke out of serious moments and thanks to her, my mood became lighter although I’m still in the dark.

“We’re ready to go!” mom said after zipping my bag.

“I’ve already paid the bills” Jiyong said and I smiled at him.

I feel so touched when my mom told me that Jiyong is the one who’s paying for everything here in the hospital. I mean, just by looking at the room that I am in, I know that it costs thousands, not to mention that I’ve been here for almost two months.

“C’mon…let’s go home now” he told me and reached out his hand to help me stand.

“OK” I said and hold his hand.

I don’t know if this is normal for us, but whenever we hold hands our fingers automatically intertwine with each other which feel so good and warm.

“I’m going to drive…Jiyong-ah…just sit beside Clarise…Trish will sit beside me” Charles said.

“OK hyung…c’mon honey” he said and I looked at him in surprise.

Honey? So, we have a pet name. I find it a bit weird but cute at the same time. I guess I have to get used to calling him “Honey” from now on.

Wow! Seoul is so beautiful. When I was young, I always tell my dad that I want to tour around Korea for I find it really interesting and now that I’m here, I can’t wait to roam around the city already.

“This is Seoul” Jiyong said and I smiled at him.

I can’t keep my eyes off the road, all I want to do is get out of the car and explore the city but I guess I have to forget that for now because my doctor told me that I still need to rest for a week or two for I’m still under medications.

What’s the matter? The car is full of chatting and laughs awhile ago and now, silence is filling the air.

“Clarise” mom called.

“Yes mom?” I asked.

“This is the place where you had your accident” mom said and I looked out the window.

OK. Now I know the reason why they suddenly became silent. Looking at the place where I nearly lost my life is a bit sad. Actually, nobody talked about my accident and all I know is that I was driving and the break of the car is not working then a truck hit me and that’s about it.

I don’t know how long our trip was, but I feel so tired all of a sudden. I feel like we’ve been on the road for hours plus my nerves are adding up for I’m dead nervous to go home.

“We’re here” Jiyong said and smiled at me.

The moment I got out of the car, I immediately looked around like a little kid who is being introduced to a new environment.

“C’mon” he said and I followed him.

I’m excited to see my apartment, they told me that Jiyong and Charles were the ones who designed it and I have a walk in closet that my fiancée made as a gift for me. He really is sweet and I can’t wait to see what’s in that closet already.

“Welcome back” mom said when she opened the door.

WOW! All I can say is WOW! My apartment really looks so beautiful and I love the cozy feeling that it brings. It feels home to me even though everything is new to me.

“This is so beautiful!” I said in awe.

“Actually….this apartment is really made out of love” mom said and I looked at Jiyong right away and he smiled at me.

“Jiyo