How miserable can my life be? My family left me and I’m losing interest in life already. I’ve got my career back and the people’s respect again, but I’m still lonely and sad inside. I guess, being popular is not what I really want, for I’ll give up everything just for Clarise and my kids to come back to me again. I’ve been a real during the time when all the controversies were being thrown at me. I know that I’ve been so insensitive with Clarise’s feelings and the things that I’ve said to her hurts her badly. I can’t blame her from leaving and hating me for I deserve all of it. What I’m hoping for is that one day, I’ll get my family back again.

 (4 months ago)

“All the rumors being thrown to me are true…Yes…I’m already a father of two beautiful kids…I got my fiancée pregnant four years ago and we have to separate for a few years because of a stupid decision that I made…I didn’t turn my back on them…I’ve waited till they come back to me again…it’s just that…I got a little tired from waiting and have thought of playing around…that’s where Eun ae came in…we had a little intimate relationship…but there’s nothing more than that…for I’ve cleared to her that Clarise is my one and only love…and that she’s  just a friend of mine…I admit…I used her…and have given her hope that I’ll marry her one day…but…it’s just a joke for I was under the use of alcohol when I proposed to her…Clarise…who is my real fiancée and the kids…came back after four years…I ended everything up with Eun ae for I want my family to be complete already…but unfortunately…Eun ae took it differently…I know that I am responsible of her committing suicide…but…I believe that I don’t have to be blamed for it …for she was the one who did that to herself…yes…I’ve hurt her…but I deeply apologized and have explained my side to her for a million times already…she’s the one making this whole thing big…what’s worse is…my family has left me because they can’t take all of this…I just have one request to all of you…PLEASE…leave my kids and Clarise alone…they’re innocent…don’t drag them in this mess…PLEASE” I said during a press conference.

(2 weeks ago)

“Daddy…why are you living here alone? Aren’t you going to move with us in the beach?” my little girl asked.

“If only dad can go there with you…I’ll definitely will…but…things are a bit complicated these days… don’t worry…I’ll visit you guys and mommy…soon” I answered and she gave out a pout.

“Don’t you miss mommy?” Jinni asked and I sighed.

“I miss her so much baby boy…by the way…how is she?” I asked.

I only hear updates about Clarise through the kids and so far, they’re the ones helping me forget about my longing for her.

“She cries every night daddy…we can hear her…she always look at our family picture…mommy is not the same anymore…she’s always sad” Jayda answered and I felt sadness embraced my whole being.

“Wait…did mommy gave that to you?” I asked when I saw their necklaces.

Well, it seems like Clarise is really serious when she said that she’ll try to forget me coz she has removed the engagement ring that I gave her and made it as a pendant for Jayda’s necklace while the necklace that she bought with a letter J pendant on it is already worn by Jinni. Is she really trying to move on already?

“Mommy gave this to us…she told us that we have to take care of this for it’s really important to her” Jinni answered while playing with his necklace.

“I have the same necklace as yours” I said and showed him mine.

“It has a letter C on it!” Jayda said while pointing at it.

“Yes…it means Clarise…and that J…it means Jiyong….mom bought these necklaces as a gift for daddy” I told them and they smiled at me.

“How about this?” Jayda asked while showing me her necklace.

“I gave that to mommy when I proposed to her” I answered.

“Pro…..?”

“Propose” I said.

“What is that?” Jinni asked.

“I asked your mommy to marry me…and when she said yes…I gave that to her” I answered and they looked at me in awe.

“You and mommy will get married soon?” Jayda asked in her very innocent voice and I shook my head slightly.

“I don’t know yet baby girl” I said and she gave out a pout.

This is hurting me. The distance between us is getting farther and farther by the minute and I know that once we continue ignoring each other, we’ll end up being total strangers soon. I am just letting things cool down before approaching her and I want to bring back the old me first before facing her, in that way, she will easily love me again.

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 (6 months later)

People say that happiness can be found everywhere and for me, happiness is found in one person only, sad to say, that person is not with me right now. It’s been months since Jiyong and I have decided to separate and give each other space to breathe. The wound in our hearts hasn’t healed yet and I don’t think it will heal even if it takes forever. Rumors have died down, things cooled already, but its damages will be carried for a lifetime.

The kids and I left Seoul a day after Jiyong and I had this huge argument. We’re now living in a beach house in Jeju Island and it’s fun being here for we’re so far from all the chaos and noise of the city. The twins are enjoying their new environment but they still long for their father. Charles brings them to Jiyong once a month so that they can still see him and spend some time with him. We don’t have to hide the kids anymore, for Jiyong have admitted and confirmed that he has kids already. Of course, his fans cannot believe it at first and our kids became a hot topic all over the world. It was crazy for they’re so innocent about everything and they will just end up asking me why people take pictures of them and why a lot of people know them. I’m just so thankful for they took this whole thing lightly and is still living their lives like normal kids.

Well, if you’re asking about what happened to Eun ae, I heard that she’s popular now. Gosh! That girl really used Jiyong to gain popularity for she’s a budding actress now and has totally forgotten about dancing. It was said that she’s still connecting herself to Jiyong and there are a few articles about them going out or being seen in restaurants, but Trish will always tell me that those rumors are not true and they’re just made up. I don’t know if I have to believe in anything after what he did to me, but I’ll always find myself hoping that none of those rumors are true coz I still have a bit hope that we’