“You can live for the past or live for the future, just pick one and be faithful to it”

I guess, this secret of ours is really meant to be out in the open this early. I don’t know, but I suddenly felt like I’m the one to be blamed if all this screws up and all the things that I’ve worked hard for will go down the drain in just a snap of a finger because of this single mistake. Well, keeping G-dragon and staying in a relationship with him even though I’m under a “non-dating” contract is not a mistake for it’s the best decision I’ve ever made, but in terms of my career, I can say that I ed things up already even before things started to kick off.

The moment I saw JYP Sajangnim and G-dragon in the hallway, I can already feel that something scary and freak worthy will happen. My nerves started shooting up and my mind just went blank, and by the time that we reached the two of them, my knees went weak that I even need to hold on to G-dragon’s arm for support.

“What’s happening?” I asked nervously.

For heaven’s sake! I’ll be performing in an hour and if they’re going to continue with this, I will literally lose all the things that I have in mind and if that happens, my first live performance will surely be an epic failure.

“Come” JYP Sajangnim, together with YG Sajangnim walked to an empty waiting room and all G-dragon and I can do is follow them.

“Can I run?” I asked G-dragon while walking and he just sighed.

“Oppa” I called and he grabbed my hand then intertwined his fingers to mine.

Well, I think G-dragon is ready to announce our relationship to our bosses already for he didn’t let go of my hand even when we reached the empty waiting room. I can see the Sajangnims eyes going back and forth to me, him and our locked hands.

In all fairness to the Sajangnims, they look at little calm and they are not scaring me that much although I know that their true feelings will surely come out once they open their mouths.

“Take a seat” YG Sajangnim pointed at the long empty couch.

JYP Sajangnim pulled a chair and placed it in front of us, then YG Sajangnim sat on the single couch, facing us as well and I feel like we are going to be interrogated by two of the most terror people of this world.

“Alright…I know that we should make this fast” JYP Sajangnim finally started after a few minutes of silence.

“Ishi…Jiyong” YG Sajangnim said and both of us looked at him nervously “We know it since day one” he said and I felt shivers down my spine.

 “That’s right…we’re aware of it even if you’ve been keeping it as a secret for a long time already” JYP Sajangnim followed and I nearly fainted.

So, they know that we are still a couple. Wow! They are so good in this! I mean, I’m so sure and I can confidently say that we are very careful of our actions and we really kept our relationship down low. Yes, there are times wherein we nearly got busted, but we always get pass it. These two bosses really have eyes everywhere and it’s so freaky.

“Actually…we know so well that even how much we tell you to distance yourself from each other…you won’t listen for we know…well…I PERSONALLY KNOW…that you two really love each other…I’ve seen how your feelings grew…that even if you’ve been away for a long time…the love that you have is still there and it got much stronger” YG Sajangnim said and all I can do is bow my head down.

“Ishi” JYP Sajangnim called and I looked up at him “I just want to remind you that you have signed a non-dating contract just a few months ago….and it’ll run for three years” he said and all I can do is sigh.

Why do I feel like they are going to force us to break-up? I’m telling you, if that happens, I’ll surely go nuts and I don’t even know if I can pull this live stage up anymore. Why does this have to happen now? Can’t they wait till I’m done with my performance? Didn’t they know that they’re ing my mind up?

“I’m sorry Sajangnim…I know that a simple sorry won’t change anything…I lied to you and bent your rules and didn’t go by the contract at all” I told him and he just stared at me.

Seriously, this is the first time that I ever saw JYP Sajangnim like this. He is not the type of guy who would go extremely serious even if he needs to, but now it’s all different. I can tell from the way he looks at me and G-dragon that he is observing us intently, like he’s weighing if we really love each other or something like that.

“Why did you hide your relationship? No…Why did you push this relationship even when we have asked you to distance yourselves from each another for a while” YG Sajangnim asked and I’m really feeling bad already.

“Sajangnim…it’s all my…” I said but G-dragon cut me short.

“I’m the one who pushed it hyung…I’m the one who doesn’t want to let go…and you know my reason so well” G-dragon butted in and I looked at him in shock.

He’s being a hero once again. G-dragon is covering me up and it’s making me feel so guilty. Truth is, I’m the one who pushed this thing and this is all my idea. The hiding, the keeping it low thing came from my freaking mind and he shouldn’t be taking the blame.

“NO! It’s me who broke the rules…I’m the one who told him not to let go….if there’s someone who needs to pay for all of this…it’s me…and I’m ready for whatever punishment you’ll give me…after all…I deserve it” I told them and the Sajangnims looked at each other.

“Tell me…do you really love each other this much that you are even ready to lose the career that you’ve always wanted just to be together?” JYP Sajangnim asked and I gave him a nod.

“I’ll answer with all honesty…for…I’m not used to lying anyway” I said and sighed “Sajangnims…I really love Jiyong…I’ve waited so long for this and I don’t want to let go…Yes…I’m ready to lose whatever I have if that’s the only way to be with him…I know that it sounds pathetic but it’s what I really feel” I said and heard G-dragon gasped.

“We’ve been separated for one a half years and I’ve waited that long just to have him back…we are living well…we’re not stepping on other people…the only thing that