“We have our ups, and we have our downs, we have our lefts and we have our rights, but anywhere with him is better than nowhere”

There are times wherein all you wished and prayed for will be answered little by little, and I can say that my time has come. It looks like God is slowly answering my prayers and granting my wishes. I’ve been praying for my relationship with G-dragon to be out in the open already and it seems like it’s gonna be granted soon.

Speaking of G-dragon, he has left exactly a week ago and it really made me so sad. As a matter of fact, I still can’t believe that he went here just for me. His visit really means a lot and it’s just so hard to say goodbye.

“Gosh! Is this really Jiyong’s effect on you?” Eon asked after G-dragon left for Korea.

“I feel so good yet so bad” I told him and he chuckled.

“That’s a bit confusing” he said and I sighed heavily “You know what? Don’t think about it so much…you will go insane once again” he looked at me as if saying “get your mind off of it first…will you?”

“I want to see him again! I’m missing him already!” I whined and he shook his head.

I’ve been in that state for a day or two and I must say, it really made me so sad. I hate the fact that I have to part with him.

I’m just so thankful that I got over my longing for him before our first filming day started. It made me freak out though, for I haven’t even finished our workshop when the rest of the cast did, including Khun. All I have is my shaking confidence. I don’t even know if my memory will be able to take my shoot up nerves coz if not, I’d be doomed. I spent days memorizing my lines and it would just go to waste if I won’t be able to deliver well.

“Are you ready?” Khun asked while I’m being prepped up by my glam team.

“I’m nervous Khunnie” I said and touched his arm “Can you feel how cold my hand is?” I asked and he chuckled.

“Aigoo” he said and held my hand “You’ll do well…don’t think about it so much” he said and I sighed heavily.

After hours of preparations, we hit it off already and I can feel my nerves freaking out as well. Joo won sunbaenim is really helpful and he always reminds me about the next scenes. I also can’t believe that we shot our first kiss scene on the first day of filming. To be honest, I’m way too awkward for that kind of thing and even if the whole team is very considerate, I still can’t give my all to that scene for it really made me feel a bit off.

“Ishi…it’s alright…just loosen up and we’ll be able to finish this the way our director wants it to be” Joo won sunbaenim said and at that point, all I want to do is bang my head on the wall.

“What is happening to you? Why is it all of a sudden you look like you don’t know how to kiss anymore?” Eon asked and I just sighed.

“It’s not Jiyong I’m kissing Eon” I told him and he smirked.

“Yah! Better act well…just remember that this will surely make or break your career” he said and I just gave a nod.

After a few more takes, I got into my element already and rocked the filming. I know that I’m not a good actress, but I’ve given my all for the filming so I think it’s all good. We wrapped everything up with smiles on our faces and mine got bigger the moment JYP Sajangnim called.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m good Sajangnim…there’s nothing to worry about…I’m still in medications though” I answered and he sighed.

“Aigoo…I guess the idea of letting you do the drama is bad…your health is really giving up on you” he said and I shook my head.

“No it’s all good Sajangnim…I’m just overwhelmed with what’s happening to me right now…but don’t worry…I’ll get over this soon” I told him.

I know that JYP and YG Sajangnim are really worried about me and I feel so bad because I’m giving them a lot of burden. Oh well, I will just have to take care of myself from now on so that I won’t get sick again.

“What?! Are you sure of that Sajangnim?” I asked in shock.

“Yes…the MBC heads wants you and Jiyong to be a part of We Got Married…they called me and Hyan Suk a couple of days ago and the both of us have talked about the matter already” he answered and I’m still in a state of shock.

“Does Jiyong know about this already?” I asked curiously.

“I’m not sure of it…but…Hyan Suk told me that he’ll meet with him as soon as possible” he said and I gave a nod.

I don