“Sometimes, you have to be apart from the people you love, but that doesn’t mean you love them any less. Sometimes, it even makes you love them more”

I make stupid decisions even if I know so well that they are stupid. Well, who wouldn’t do such thing if it involves the man that you love the most? I tried restraining myself, but I can’t help it. My damn heart is stronger than my mind and I cannot shake it no matter how hard I try. His touch makes my mind swirl and his lips can melt me in a snap of a finger.

Last night’s lovemaking is bitter sweet for me. I don’t even know what came into mind the moment I decided to give in to him once again. Yes, I do know that I should’ve not done it for it’s just going to give him hope that I’m still going back to him. Well, there’s a part of me that wants to work things out for our relationship, but a huge part of me is saying that I should just stick with my decision. The mere fact that I let him inside my house is totally ridiculous and the moment I agreed to make love with him when I know that we’re supposed to be nothing to each other already is the biggest mistake of all. But I can’t do anything about it anymore. It’s already here, we’ve already done it and we’ve both enjoyed it.

Waking up beside him is really the sweetest thing of all. I’m feeling so happy the moment I opened my eyes and saw his angelic face. G-dragon really looks so peaceful in his sleep and the smile on his face while sleeping is priceless. I know that he hasn’t smiled like this for weeks now and I can’t help but cry whenever I think that this smile of his can be the last.

I’m leaving him today, officially and as much as I hate to say goodbye, I have to for I need to find myself first. I’ve realized that I have to really give myself a break from his world before embracing it again. I know that sooner or later, we’re going to be in one industry, but as of the moment, I want to live as normal as possible, without any secrets, stress, scandals, rumors and a boyfriend who doesn’t have time for me.

“Tinky” Dong min called when he stepped out of his car.

The moment I got out of bed, I immediately called Dong min and asked him a favor and that is to fetch me at my apartment for I’ll be moving out already. I silently carried all of the boxes that we have packed outside and made sure that G-dragon is still sleeping soundly.

“What? Jiyong hyung is in there?” he asked in shock when I told him what happened to me and G-dragon last night.

“Yes…he is…c’mon now Minnie...I don’t want him to see me leaving” I told him and he grabbed my arm and stopped me from walking.

“No…tinky…if you want to say goodbye….do it in a proper way…not like this…look…Jiyong hyung loves you with all his heart…he has done a lot of things for you and is even ready to give you the world…how can you just leave him like this? What is this? A dramatic version of a one night stand? Just think of all the things that both of you have been through…he doesn’t deserve this kind of parting…if you want to separate with him officially…do it in a respectful way…not in a very rude way” he said and I shook my head.

“I can’t….I’m sorry….please…if you don’t want to drive me to my new apartment…at least help me carry all my belongings to the nearest bus stop” I said and he sighed heavily.

“Tinky…I’m doing this because I can’t leave you with all these things ….but I just want to clear one thing…..you are really going to regret this….leaving a good man is an act of stupidity….and saying goodbye in this way is the most disrespectful thing that you have done in your life” he said and started carrying the boxes to his car.

I know that what I’m doing is really disrespectful and in one way or another, very rude. I know that I should’ve talked to him first before leaving, but I just can’t take it. I don’t want to see him cry again because of me and I’m afraid that he might kneel and beg once again just for me to take him back. I cannot take seeing him so dreadful and wasted just because of me and I really believe that this is the easiest way for him to hate me. Yes, I want him to hate me. In that way, it’ll be easier for him to move on.

With Lucky, Dong min and I already hit the road. We aren’t talking at all and I can really feel that he’s totally against what I’ve just done. I know that once Eun hee learns about this, she will also get mad at me, that’s why I told Dong min to just keep this all a secret from her first and he just nods at me in agreement.

“You can park here” I told Dong min when we reached my new place.

My new apartment is only a few minutes away from Mapo-gu and Hongdae, which means that I’m just a few minutes away from YG’s residential building. I know that it’s a bit pathetic of me to even rent a place near G-dragon’s for there is still a huge possibility for us to see each other on the street, but I don’t have a choice, I’m looking for a cheap apartment near my workplace and this is the only one that I’ve found.

“What is this? Gosh! Why does this looks like a room only? This place is the same size as Eun hee’s closet” Dong min said upon entering my new apartment.

My new pad is not big at all. You can see everything right away. What’s important is that, I have a place where I can cook, a place where I can bum around and watch TV and a spot where I can sleep. This place is really advisable for people who lives alone for you don’t have to buy much furniture and appliances. After all, it wouldn’t fit.

“I feel like I’m living in a big room where there’s a kitchen” Dong min said while helping me unpack.

“This is all I can afford Minnie…don’t worry…I’m sure that once you visit me again….this apartment will look like a house already….all I have to do is to decorate this tiny space” I told him confidently, earning a smirk from him.

“By the way…are you going to train later?” he asked and I shook my head.

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