“In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance”

Why does it feel so surreal even if it’s really happening? It’s been a week now since my album was released and I’m having the craziest time ever! I actually thought that things will pretty much be the same, but it’s not. I’m more hectic now and I’m hearing my songs being played everywhere.

I feel like everything happened so fast and even though I’ve prepared myself so well for this, I still feel like I entered this world unprepared and not fully  equipped. My nerves are still ruling me every time I face the press and the fans. FANS! I didn’t really expected that I’d be having them. Not even in my wildest imagination. I have people coming to me saying “I like you” and they are even asking me to take pictures with them and sign autographs. It is wild and I can’t even have a good grip on in yet.

“mmmm” I stretched out my tired and still sleepy body then grabbed my phone on the side table.

So this is how G-dragon feels like. No wonder he’s always a lazy in the morning. This is the first time that I felt like I’ve never rested at all. I’ve been rehearsing non-stop for days now coz my first ever performance will happen later this afternoon and last night was a real kill.

“Ishi Shin! Don’t tell me you’re still in bed” Eon said and I grunted.

“YAH! Get your out of bed now! I’m on my way there” he said and I buried my face on my pillow.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” I screamed and felt G-dragon sit up.

“YAH!” he yelled, making me look at him.

“Oppa” I called and he stared at me weirdly.

“Aigoo…what’s happening to you?” he asked while brushing some hair away from my face.

“I’m damn lazy to even bring myself up” I answered, earning a laugh from him.

“Ishi Kwon…just to remind you…this is just the start of everything …wait” he grabbed my phone from me and looked at it.

“Yaaaa…it’s Sunday” he said and I gave a nod.

“It’s your first performance!” he looked at me and I just stared at him.

“I know” I said and he chuckled.

“I can feel someone’s nerves going wild” he teased, making me more nervous.

I swear. This will be one heck of a day for me and I’m going crazy in a few moments from now. I don’t even know how to pull this off. All I know is that, I have to show up at the music show and perform my off on that stage. Thing is, I’m too nervous for it.

“Get up now” he stood up on the bed then reached his hand out to me.

“Oppa” I just stared at his hand and didn’t move at all.

“Get up” he ordered and I grabbed his hand lazily.

“Aigoo…so heavy” he lifted me up to sit and I almost went back down but he stopped me.

“Yah! You’re getting up now…c’mon” he got out of bed, scooped me up and brought me to the bathroom.

“Wash up while I prepare breakfast” he said and all I can do is sigh.

I guess this is really the life of an artist. You’ll work day in day out, rest for a few hours then hit it off once again. I’m not complaining or anything, it’s just that my body is all new to it.

“You can do this!” I said to myself while looking in the mirror.

A lot has changed now. My face seems to be smaller than before. Oh well, I lost a lot of weight during the whole preparation and even though everybody is telling me that I have to eat a lot for I’m looking more fragile as time goes by, I just can’t eat that much for I’m super lazy to even chew.

After having a hot bath and nearly falling asleep in the tub, I got dressed and went out of the room. I can smell franks and coffee and it’s making my tummy growl. I’m starving for I haven’t eaten anything since last night. If G-dragon knows about this abnormal eating habit of mine, he will surely go ballistic. He is more concerned of my health now than my debut.

“Eon isn’t here yet?” I asked when I entered the dining area.

“He already went here....thing is…JYP Sajangnim called and told him to go to the office…he left just a few minutes ago” he answered and smiled at me.

“Is he going back here?” I asked.

“No…he told me to just drive you to the music station” he answered and I sighed.

“No need for that Oppa…I can go there alone” I told him and took an egg roll.

“Yum!” I said while chewing.

“Yaaa…I’ll be driving you there” he said and placed the plate of franks on the table.

“Seriously Oppa…I can go there alone…just let me borrow your car” I told him and he looked at me weirdly.

“You’ll borrow my car? You don’t even know how to drive” he said and I gasped.

I guess I’ve forgotten to tell him that I already know how to drive and I even have an international driving license. Well, I haven’t tried driving here in Seoul for he and Eon would always drive for me. Actually, I’m afraid to drive around for I’m not used to the roads here yet. I don’t even know the traffic rules that much.

“Oppa…I can drive” I told him and he stared at me.

“For real?” he asked and it’s obvious that he’s taking me as a big joke only.

“Let’s see” he walked to the living room, grabbed his keys on the table and asked me to follow him.

G-dragon will now see how a good driver I am. We went out of the apartment, walked to his car and my heart suddenly raced so fast. This is the first time that I’ll drive after months of not even sitting on the driver’s seat at all.

“Here” he gave me the keys and I grabbed it with a smile on my face.

“Ishi Kwon…I’m telling you…my life is so important…a lot of people will cry once I die” he said, making me laugh.

“Yah! Are you telling me that my life isn’t important? FYI…a lot of people will cry once I die too…this country will be grieving for a long time” I told him, earning a loud laugh.

“Yeah right! Whatever!” he laughed and I pinched his arm.

“YAH!” he yelled and I stick out my tongue at him.

“Just start the engine and show me what you’ve got” he said and checked if my seatbelt locked well.

“Alright” I said with full confidence.

And we’re moving. I can tell that his nerves are all in alarm for he’s holding his breath all throughout. We drove around the neighborhood and it’s all going smooth for me.

“Yah! Hold that steering wheel with both hands!” he freaked when I started driving with one hand only.

“Chill Oppa…relax…I’ve got this” I told him and he sighed heavily.

“Just….just…hold on to it with both hands…please” he said, looking so worried and scared.

And I did what I was told just to give him some peace of mind. As a matter of fact, I’m not used to using both hands on the steering wheel.  Khun used to scold me every time I drive with one hand only coz according to him, I may get into an accident once I lose control of the wheel. I guess, he an