“It is only with true love and compassion that we can begin to mend what is broken in the world. It is these two blessed things that can begin to heal all broken hearts”

Week 72

When things are going right for you, all you want to do is hold on to it and do the best you can. Well, that’s what I’m doing right now. My career as a model has take flight and even though it’s not at its peak yet, I know that at the right time, it will soar high or if it didn’t, I’m still cool with it, at least I was able to experience how it is like to have a career and be known even just for a while.

I’m being positive as ever. As I’ve said, things are going right for me and life is not as cruel as it was years ago. There’s still longing in my heart and hunger to succeed. I know that success is easy when you strive hard for it and that’s the sole reason why I’m working my off every single day. As for my longing, I know that my broken heart still needs some time to heal and even if it’s still hurting, I don’t have a choice but to go on with my life. After all, I’m the one to blame for this broken heart.

If you’re going to ask me if I’m already regretting my decision of leaving G-dragon, my answer would be a fast “YES”. I don’t know, but after Eun hee and Dong min told me about him getting back together with his EX girlfriend, I just found myself curled into a ball, crying while I keep on saying “This is all my fault…I let him go”. After almost a month of being like that, I came back to my senses and have decided to move on because that’s the only thing to do.

While trying so hard to move on, work kept me so busy. I swear! I’ve never been this busy all my life. JYP Sajangnim even made a sudden visit a few months ago because there are a lot of brands who got so interested in me after seeing my campaign ad for Victoria’s Secret. Big names like Michael Kors, Dorothy Perkins, Vera Wang and a few more has shown their enthusiasm and I cannot be much happier. Donatella Versace even invited me to a private party in the Bahamas just to meet me and I went there together with Eon and JYP Sajangnim. This is really a dream come true. I feel like I’m floating on air for things are going right and they’re falling into their right places. But even with all the huge fashion brands, I’ve decided to pick only some to endorse. Yes, I’m such an for not taking all their offers, but JYP and YG Sajangnim told me that if I focused in modeling more than singing, I’d better be a model because I cannot juggle two big things at the same time. So, they let me choose and I chose to be a singer in Korea more than modeling and I’m not regretting anything for performing on stage has always been a dream and walking down the runway is just second to it.

One year and six months of being away is really long already and I’m getting closer to the two years that the Sajangnims gave me. I can’t help but be excited for I know that after two years of hard training, everything will already pay off for I’ll be debuting soon. I’ve recorded eight songs in a matter of six months and JYP Sajangnim made an offer that I cannot resist.

“Ishi…I know that you’re itching to go back to Korea already” he said and I gave him a nod.

“Do you want to go back as soon as possible?” he asked and I just stared at him.

“What? Do you want to go back already?” he asked again and nods slowly.

“I’d love to! I mean…living here in America is great…but…Korea is still different...after all…my two years training will come to an end in a few months as well” I told him and he smiled at me.

“OK…you can go home after attending to all your commitments here” he said and I clapped in joy “But…” he looked at me straight in the eyes “You have to continue training and at the same time recording for your album….I know that you stopped training a couple of weeks ago for you’re so busy with recording…but…once you go back to Korea…you have to train once again…this is to prepare you for your upcoming debut” he finished and I nod my head for a million times in agreement.

Yes! I’m going home soon and I can’t help but be excited. At last, I’d be able to breathe the Korean air once again and talk the language. I don’t know, but there’s a part of me that don’t want to go back yet, though a huge part of me can’t wait to see familiar faces and places.

“Look at this” Eon showed me a billboard with my photo on it in his tablet.

“Where is this?” I asked and looked at the picture closely.

“It’s in Hongdae! They put a billboard of you there and there’s even another one in Dongdaemoon” he answered and I gasped in shock.

“Are you serious?” I asked in disbelief and he gave me a nod.

“Actually…your ad is already being shown in local stations in Korea…I’m telling you…the name Ishi Shin has breakout in the industry and a lot of people are getting interested in you already” he told me and I just stared at him.

I cannot believe it! I have my own billboard in some places around Seoul when before, all I have is an adult magazine spread. I’m happy for a lot of people are appreciating me. Thing is, I cannot help but worry for this just means that a lot of people will also dig up who this Ishi Shin is and I’m just hoping that my adult magazine photos won’t appear once you search my name on Google.

“Don’t worry about it Ishi…JYP Sajangnim had it all under control” Eon assured me and I still can’t help but worry.

“What if it goes out in public? I mean...a lot of people….mostly from my former university know about that magazine spread…what if they tripped on uploading the photo?” I asked and received a smirk from Eon.

“Trust me…everything is under control…there’s no need to worry” he said once again and all I can do is hold on to what he said.

A month ago, I got a call from IMG asking me if I want to participate at the Tokyo Fashion Week and who am I to refuse, right? So, I said yes right away and have Eon fix everything. And now, I’m here in Japan. This will be m