“The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring”

I dreamed. I believed. I survived.

Two years ago, I was just an ordinary girl who juggles three jobs just to live. A girl who have dreams but doesn’t even know if she can live even one of it for she thinks that she’s gonna be stuck in that pastry shop forever. All her life, she’s the underdog. The favorite target of bullies and the poor girl who can’t afford the things that teenagers like her, has. She pitied herself, found friends that pulled her up to stand tall once again and lived everyday like she’s always in a challenge. Love never entered her mind, though she’s holding on to a book that is giving her these crazy thoughts about it and teaches her things that not even an over-experienced individual know. Then there’s this boy who showed her the world that she had forgotten a long time ago. The world of bliss, love and extreme happiness. This boy opened new doors for her and brought her to where she is now. He is an answered prayer and that girl can’t ask for anything more.

Can someone slap me? Why do I feel like everything that has happened and is happening now is only a dream? Up until now I still cannot believe that I’m living so far from the life that I’m used to. All this is a blessing and it’s insanely wonderful.

Christmas passed by so fast but I enjoyed it to the max. It’s actually my first time to work on that day and I can say that I really had a blast. My first music video filming was held and a lot of people cheered for me. Seriously, people are coming in and out of the studio and it’s just so crazy.

“Ishi…you have a visitor” Eon said while I’m being prepped up for the shoot.

“OH! Unnie!” I gasped in shock and the kids ran to me right away.

“Auntie!” Jung su and Jin ae called while running towards me.

“Aigoo” I said as they crashed their bodies to mine.

“How are you guys?” I asked.

“We’re good” Jin ae answered and pulled me down to kiss my cheek.

“OMO! Those two are missing you big time that they even cried when I told them that I don’t want to bring them here” Unnie said as I hug the kids.

“Unnie…why didn’t you tell me beforehand that you’re coming?” I asked and she smirked.

“If I tell you about this…it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore” she answered and I giggled.

“aww….where’s Omma and Appa?” I asked.

“They really want to come but there are a lot of people at the restaurant and they can’t leave it” she answered and I felt sad all of a sudden.

“BUT…even though they’re not here…they prepared a congratulatory gift for you” she said then smiled widely.

“ooohhh….I wonder what that gift is” I said and she chuckled.

“They cooked a lot of food for everyone…the staffs are actually preparing it outside” she said and I gasped in shock.

“OMO!” I said and she hugged me.

“Merry Christmas dongsaengie” she said and I hugged her back tightly.

“Merry Christmas too Unnie” I said and she pinched my cheeks “And to the two of you as well” I tickled the kids and they laughed like there’s no tomorrow.

This visit is really unexpected. I’m sure that G-dragon knows nothing about this and it’s just so touching for I’m not really expecting Unnie and the kids to pay me a visit today. This is really sweet of them to go here on Christmas day when they are supposed to be spending it with the family.

“Have Jiyong called already?” she asked and I sighed.

“I am the one who called him as a matter of fact” I answered and she chuckled.

“If you only know how much he likes to spend this day with you” she said, making me sad.

“This is our first Christmas together and it’s saddening for we’re so far away from each other…but it’s all good Unnie…after all….this is how our work…works and we have to get used to the separation” I told her and she rubbed my back for comfort.

“Don’t worry…he’d be here for the New Year…we can all spend it at Omma and Appa’s house” she said and excitement embraced my whole being.

This is how things will work from now on. We are both so hectic and there will come a time wherein we need to be separated for a long time, but it’s all cool for we know so well that this is our chosen careers and all the fame and popularity comes with sacrifice.

Dami-unnie and the kids stayed for two hours on set and left everybody with full stomachs. Omma and Appa’s gift is really for everyone and we ate the food deliciously. I shouldn’t be eating a lot for I will go bloated on the shoot, but I didn’t care at all. I tasted every dish and it was pure heaven.

Hours passed by and the shoot went on and on. We were doing the sequences in a fast pace and I’m proud for the director just keeps on saying “Very Good! We got it! Next scene!” which only means that the director is more than satisfied with the artists’ performance and there shouldn’t be more takes to be done.

“Ishi” JYP Sajangnim called and I was really surprised to see him.

“Sajangnim!” I said and bowed at him.

He is with Soohe and Sunye-Unnie of Wondergirls who are good friends of mine as well. They came here to give support and I’m really happy for they took time just to visit me.

“Aigoo…you’re really beautiful!” Soohee said while fixing my hair.

“Yaaa….you look so y” Sunye-Unnie said and playfully slapped my thigh.

“Thank you…thank you” I bowed at them, making them laugh.

“The members can’t come for they are with their families today...but they want us to give you this” Soohee gave me a huge card with all the members’ messages in it.

“OMO! Thank you so much girls!” I said and hugged them.

“This is your first filming and we really want to make it special” Sunye-Unnie said.

“Khun and the boys will also dropped by according to Sajangnim…we just don’t know what time will they be here” Soohee said and I gave her a nod.

Honestly, the moment I heard her say Khun’s name, I felt nervous for Khun and I haven’t seen each other since the incident at our apartment happened. Well, we bumped into the hallway twice, but ignored each other after that, nothing. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I suddenly felt like Dong min’s advice is better than pushing what I really think is right. That distancing myself to Khun is the right thing to do and sticking with him will just bring everybody to trouble.

The 2PM boys arrived after a few minutes with a huge bouquet of flowers. These boys are not sweet to me at all for they treat like me like a guy, but today, they touched my heart for they also wrote congratulatory messages for me in a big card.

“Yah! Why do you look like a girl today? This is a really weird sight” Taecyon teased and I gave him a playful punch.

“I’m also capable of looking like a girl Taec” I countered and he smirked.

With the JYP group watching, I went on with the filming and tried so hard not to show my nervousness in front of the camera. Jinwoon of 2AM will be my leading man for this music video and he is a true gentleman for we have just finished our bed scene and he took care of me well.

I’m also thankful that G-dragon isn’t here for if he is, I’m pretty sure that he will go against this bed scene and will not even let me do a kiss scene. You see, my boyfriend is conservative and he’s not good with these things at all.

Hours passed by and I’m starting to feel tired already. Good thing, the staffs called for a break and I was able to rest while my glam team prepares me for the next scene.

“OMO!” I said upon seeing Se7en Oppa and the 2ne1 girls.

“Hey!” I hugged them each with a wide smile on my face.

“Merry Christmas and congratulations to your first filming” Se7en Oppa said and pinched my cheek.

“Aigoo…we just saw you kissing awhile ago” CL teased and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

“I almost fainted there” I told them, earning giggles.

“Actually…there is someone who felt the same way as well” Bom-unnie said and I looked at her curiously.

“OH! It’s me” Dara-unnie said then looked at Bom-unnie as if telling her “what the hell!”

“We have a surprise for you…but…you just have to wait for a little while for it” Se7en told me and I looked at them curiously.

I cannot believe that my YG family is also here. They really shocked me for I’m sure that they are busy as hell too. This day is just full of surprises and I’m loving it!

“OH!” I said upon seeing him.

Well, my exhaustion and tiredness was washed away the moment I saw G-dragon. This is really the biggest surprise of the day. My man is here to give me support when he was just in another country awhile ago. Not only that, he and Khun are in good terms now and believe it or not, they are looking like the best of friends already.

“You two should go out now…Ishi will change into her next outfit” Eon told the boys like a mother who is shooing her daughter’s suitors away.

“I’ll see you later boys!” I said and waved at them.

This is going to be so much fun. I’m more inspired now and even told myself that I’ll give these people the good filming that they are expecting to see.

And with that, I was able to get through the whole filming. Hours of acting and shooting are worth it and everybody is satisfied with our work. The people who came to cheer for me have gone home and only Khun and G-dragon were left.

“How was it?” I asked the boys while removing my make-up.

“Tiring” Khun answered and I looked at him weirdly.

“hmmm…Khunnie…all you did was  watch and sit…if there’s someone who has the right to get tired…I think it’s me” I told him, earning laughs from them.

“Aigoo…waiting for you and watching you repeat some scenes are tiring” G-dragon said and I narrowed my eyes at him.

“That’s right!” Khun said and they exchanged high fives.

I guess they are really