“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”

Keeping a secret is hard. I know that so well but if it’s the only way for me to keep someone and something so important to me, I’ll risk everything. Hiding from the two Sajangnims is putting me into this guilt trip and I’m ready to ride along with it for the meantime coz I can’t lose my career and most especially G-dragon again. This is me talking and thinking in a stubborn state, and I don’t know what will happen next but I’m gonna make sure that things will go right in my relationship this time.

FROM JIYONG_OPPA: Baby…it seems like Hyan Suk hyung and JYP Sajangnim have talked about this move so well. See you at home. I love you!

As expected, the Sajangnims already deliberated about the things that they will do for this issue and they came up with a -y move. Both of them wants me and G-dragon to distance ourselves from each other simply because it’s the best way to make the scandal die down and not to make spark anything in the future. I can fully understand why they’re doing this, but for me, it’s not right to ask somebody to stay away from the one he/she loves. Well, I did sign a new contract saying that I can’t date for three years and even though I’m bending it this early, I’m gonna make sure that G-dragon and I will not be caught for if that happens, I don’t have a choice but to kiss my career goodbye.

“Ishi…please understand that I’m only doing this just for your hardships not to go to waste….you have trained so well and sacrificed a lot just to have a shot in the music industry and I will not let it go down the drain just because of bad publicity….we are already promoting you  through your modeling gigs and it’s doing so well…thing is…because of this scandal…we don’t have a choice but to expect for the worst” JYP Sajangnim said, while I’m being torn on what’s wrong and what’s right.

“I can fully understand you Sajangnim…I know that this scandal will bring me a lot of haters for I’ve been here before…thing is…during that time nobody knows who I was…and now…they already know my name and have seen my face as well” I told him and he smiled at me.

“Things will go right in time Ishi…I know that Jiyong would understand…he’s been in this situation in one way or another before….so I’m pretty sure that he knows how this all works…three years is all I’m asking and after that…you can date freely and you’ll not hear anything from me” he said and guilt embraced me.

JYP Sajangnim is so kind and considerate to me. He’s the one who nurtured and molded me to who I am now, and bending his rules is going to be so hard. But, my mind and heart is in sync in telling me to just do what I want and all I want is G-dragon.

“I know that you’re not buying this new rule honey” Eon told me the moment we stepped out of Sajangnim’s office.

“Eon…you know so well how much I want to have Jiyong again….that new rule is basically asking me to turn my back to him once again…how do you think will I take it?” I asked and he sighed.

“But still…it’s a rule…it’s clearly written on your contract and once you bend it…you’d be terminated…all your hard work will go completely to the bin” he said and I looked at him, hopeless.

“We can hide it…right?” I asked and from the way he looks, I know that all he wants to do is bang my head on the wall.

“Are you hearing yourself? You are really willing to bend this rule and risk everything that you worked hard for just because of love? Well…fine! I know that Jiyong is all you ever wanted and you’ve waited for this reconciliation for a long time…but…this bold move will put you six feet underground…you know that? This will definitely ruin the good partnership that you have with Sajangnim…not to mention…your career is at stake here” he pointed out, making my head swoon for I’ve been thinking a lot already.

What will I do now? I’m totally wrecked up right now and things are getting more complicated by the minute. I know that there are only two things to do: The right way, and the wrong way. As of now, I’m gonna choose the wrong way and that’s final.

After staying in the office for an hour, I insisted on going home to my old apartment. Eon knows nothing about what’s going in my head and I’m still thinking if it’s just fine to tell him that I will continue my relationship with G-dragon even if I have signed a contract that says I can’t date for three years.

“Where are we?” Eon asked the moment we pulled up in front of the apartment.

“We are here in my apartment” I said and hopped out of the car.

“Wait…wait…wait” he called out but it was too late for I already got down the car.

“Ishi” he stepped out and blocked my way.

“Yes?” I asked and he sighed.

“We have a room at a hotel….there’s no need for you to stay here” he said and I shook my head.

“C’mon Eon…I’m sick of hotel rooms already…I want to stay here because I miss living this way…not to mention…this apartment is so important and special to me…I just want to feel its coziness and warmth even just for two days” I told him and he sighed heavily.

“But Sajangnim doesn’t know this…wait…I’m gonna call his secretary to let him know” he pulled out his phone in his pocket and I snatched it right away.

“YAH!” he protested and I just smiled at him.

“There’s no need to tell Sajangnim about this….please Eon…just let me have this two days in a normal way…please….I promise not to make any trouble…please” I pleaded and I know that my lovely manager cannot take it whenever I act like this.

In the end, Eon agreed for me to stay in my apartment while he checks in a hotel nearby. I know that I’m giving him an intense h