“People who are meant to be will find their way back to each other. They may take detours, but they’re never lost”

My heart is in total pain and it’s caused by here once again. I’m not prepared for this at all. I know that sooner or later, we’ll be laying eyes on each other again, but this is just too sudden. Hearing her call someone “Oppa” and seeing her being cozy and touchy to another man is just so hard to take.

I guess, you never really realize how much you love that person until you see them love someone else. Yes, I’m not even sure if she and Nichkhun is an item, but from the way it looks, I think they really are. Ishi won’t even be so cozy to a guy friend unless it is Dong min. I don’t know, but I feel so jealous even though I don’t have the right to.

“Hyung” Daesung held my arm, snapping me back to my senses.

“Oh” I looked at him with tears pooling in my eyes.

“Aigoo…let’s go inside the waiting room now…this is really not a good sight for you to see” he tugged me and I didn’t even move an inch.

“Hyung” he called and I ignored him.

She talks to him as if I’m not around. They held hands, he even wrapped his arms around her waist, she didn’t flinched or removed it, he kissed her forehead and she gave him the same smile that she gives me before. I’m hitting rock bottom and I’m falling head first. Ishi is killing me and she’s clueless about it. She is once again turning my life upside down and all I want to do is snatch her away from him.

The show started with the boys and I watching the whole show in the waiting room. We are just waiting for our turn and if only I can run away and not perform anymore, I will definitely run as fast as I can already.

“Aigoo…Kiko is rockin it!” Youngbae said and I smiled the moment the camera focused her beautiful face.

“OH! Ishi’s next! Ishi’s next!” TOP hyung said excitedly and next thing we know it, our eyes were glued at the television while Ishi is walking down the runway.

“AISH!” Daesung said the moment Nichkhun grabbed Ishi’s hand and walked her down the runway.

“They seem to be so close” TOP hyung said and looked at me.

“I think they are hyung…I mean…they’re under the same management so it’s pretty understandable” Seungri told him, making me hiss.

“Yaaa….Jiyong-ah….what’s with the hiss?” Youngbae asked and I just shrugged.

As much as possible, I don’t want to act like I’m the one affected the most when here comes Ishi, totally acting normal, without even any signs that she is also affected by this as well.

“OMO!” TOP hyung said in shock while pointing at the television.

“You saw it too hyung?” Daesung asked him, earning weird looks from me and Seungri.

“I think these two are more than friends” TOP hyung said all of a sudden, making me look at him in shock.

“Did you saw it Ji?” he asked and I shook my head

“Nichkhun just mouthed I love you to Ishi” Youngbae looked at me intently, obviously waiting for my reaction.

I guess they really are dating. I mean, the words I love you are so strong and for a guy to say that to a girl, it just means that he’s got something for her or they are already an item.

“My head is aching” I said while rubbing my temples.

“Big Bang! You’re next!” a coordinator called out and I don’t have a choice but to join the group.

The moment we started our first song, my heart started beating fast already. I know that I’d be sharing this stage with Kiko and Ishi together and I’m just waiting for one of them to appear. Lo and behold, Ishi appeared and seeing her closer triggered my strong feelings for her once again.

As expected, she nearly fell on the ground, first. Thanks to my fast senses, she was safe. Actually, all the time that she was walking, I keep on praying in mind for her not to trip or stumble on the runway.

Her stares made me melt once again. She still has a big impact on me and I can already see myself crying to sleep once again for I’m sure that I’d be missing her badly tonight. My mind is clouded by her, and I’m slowly losing it.

Right now, I feel like we’ve become strangers, but we’re strangers with a past. We are so close yet still so far. I can see her clearly, I can hear her voice as well, but the connection is not there anymore. The stares that was once our heaven is now filled with fear and shame. I know that being awkward to each other is just normal, but feeling suffocated is a different story. Once again, the emotions that I’ve worked so hard to ignore are coming back and I can’t do anything about it at all for this is meant to happen. Looking at Ishi now is harder than I thought it would be.

“Waaa…I still cannot believe that…that girl with huge wings is Ishi” Youngbae said the moment Ishi and Nichkhun left, making Kiko chuckle.

“She is really y…right?” she asked the boys and received nods from them.

“Hey baby...are you alright?” she asked and I just looked at her.

“You’re shocked…yeah” she said and stared at me.

What is going on with me? Why am I even thinking of Ishi when I’m so sure that she’s not even thinking about me? When the member and Ishi started talking, I decided to just listen and not give any reactions at all. As much as I want to ask her about Nichkhun, I can’t, for the members are here and I don’t have the guts to even greet her, what more ask her about her new guy.

“We will ALL be there”

The moment TOP hyung said that, all I want is to shout “NO! I’M NOT COMING!” but that didn’t happened at all. Kiko is also giving me out and I don’t even know what’s gotten into her. She’s being so sweet and kind to Ishi when I’m expecting her to be awkward.

“Jiyong” Kiko called when we’re on our way to her house already.

“mmmmm”

“She’s back” she said and just nodded my head.

“So?” I asked and she sighed.

“So? Jiyong! She came back! I don’t know why you’re acting like you don’t care…FYI…I can feel you from here and you are dying to see her again” she said, makin