“Love is a feeling, the deepest and sweetest of all. It’s incredibly strong and amazingly gentle at the very same time. It is a blessing that should be counted every day. It is nourishment for the soul. It is devotion, constantly letting each person know how supportive its certainty can be”

I must say, I’m being in our time issue primarily because I need him to learn the lesson that he can’t make promises that he can’t stand up for. He needs to know that every time he breaks them, it’s crushing me inside and our relationship is on a thread right now because of that. I know that I can still endure it. Thing is, I’m afraid that I might not last longer.

Yesterday was good and totally smooth, but my night was messed up and I’ve got to give it to G-dragon for ruining it. He made me wait for hours and once again, he didn’t show up. Well, he did, but it’s too late that I’m not even in the mood to see him already. I try telling myself to keep calm, but I just can’t for I’m pushed to my limit already.

“Tinky! WAKE-Y WAKE-Y!”

“I told you….this biatch…is going to be a lazy once again…she’s got Monday sickness”

“I heard that” I said lazily and buried my face on the pillow.

“Then wake up now! I don’t wanna be late today…we’ve got lots of things to do…remember?” Dong min slammed his body on mine and it nearly killed me.

“OH GOSH! You’re as heavy as a cow!” I complained.

“Wow! Did a cow slam its body on you already? How did you know that I’m as heavy as a cow?” he asked and I pushed him away from me.

“Quit it! It’s lame” I sat up and rubbed my swollen eyes.

I cried myself to sleep and I’m in great need of ice for I can already sense that my eyes really resemble a goldfish for I cannot even open it well. I hate these moments, why did I even think of crying last night when I know that I have school the next day? How I wish I can wear sunglasses in class.

“You know what? Every time I see your closet, I feel like I’m in heaven. I mean… just look at all these branded stuffs! Every girl will wish to be in your place right now coz this is a dream that only a few can make possible” Eun hee said while scanning my newly bought clothes.

“Well…if they want to be in my shoes….then let them be…I actually want to get out of it” I said unconsciously and Dong min grabbed my arm and turned me to face him.

“What did you just say?” he asked and I sighed.

“I said….if there’s someone who wants to replace me…then let her….I’m tired of this relationship and running away from it is all I ever wanted now” I said and they gasped in shock.

“This is real…right? This is really happening….it’s Ishi who is talking... Gaylord…tell me I’m just in a dream coz if I am…I’m gonna wake up right away for this is a total nightmare” Eun hee said and I rolled my eyes at her.

“Is this all about his broken promises and lack of time?” Dong min asked and I gave a nod.

“Well…he made a promise AGAIN yesterday and I am so positive that he will show up that time coz I can feel that he’s really missing me…turns out…he totally forgot about me and stayed so late recording with his “sweet darlings”….I prepared for it…I even pulled out my best outfit just for him …. he did show up…but it’s too late already” I said and they comforted me.

“Look Tinky….I know that Jiyong hyung is wrong and is totally at fault here…but….I’m sure you know how it feels to be so occupied….your mind is usually scattered that you tend to forget things whether they are important or not” he said and I smirked.

“Don’t side him Gaylord! Jiyong is being a douche bag nowadays and it’s going too far already….he’s the guy in this relationship…he has to know that his girl is not like his friends who are just fine if he didn’t show up in a party…this is a test of sensitivity and total care….but sorry to say….that handsome isn’t sensitive at all” Eun hee countered and I nod in agreement.

I might hate him now, but I know that this feeling will pass soon. I don’t know, but I feel like I’m being too loose on him when it comes to fights, that I tend to forgive easily. As a matter of fact, this is the first time that I didn’t even give a damn on him while explaining and asking for apology.  My mind and ears were totally shut that time and all my eyes could see is a man who is good in breaking promises, not the wonderful man that I loved months ago.

“You just need to cool down…I know that this can still be fixed” Dong min said and I sighed heavily.

Out of the three of us, Dong min is the one being positive in this. Honestly, I can feel that we are slowly falling apart and I’m starting to lose my drive. Yes, I shouldn’t let this one issue ruin a perfect team, but can you blame me? I tried my very best to understand everything, I’m more than supportive and here he is, wrecking it all up and not even giving effort at all.

It’s just so hard to even move when you’re feeling crap all over. My hot head is getting the best of me and I’m totally lashing it all out to everybody. I’ve answered back to Ms. Kim’s scolding and I ed out on our dean just a few minutes ago. These people are totally innocent but because of my overflowing emotions, they are being dragged as well.

“Ms. Shin…long time no see…you are once again on detention” Ms. Kim said and I just rolled my eyes at her.

“Look Ms. Kim…I’m really sorry for what I’ve done….I didn’t mean to answer back…I’m just in a bad mood as of the moment and things got twisted” I told her and she hissed.

“Your reasons are already too old and overused Ms. Shin…I’ve heard that from you for years now” she said and I just rolled my eyes at her.

“I know that you are still growing and your emotions are intense…but you don’t have to lash it all out on innocent people….and how can you talk to our dean like he’s just a friend who you can fool around with? Where is your manners Ms. Shin?” she asked and I snapped out of my goody two shoes.

“Ms. Kim…you guys are still ing out on me…you are still making a big deal out of my adult magazine centerfold…you may act like you’re not but I know so well that you are….now…tell me…who’s got no manners?” I fired back and she turned pale.

“You’ll stay here for the rest of the day….start cleaning the restrooms in the first floor…I want it done in an hour” she said, totally changing the topic.

“Why not clean it yourself so that you can feel how hard it is?” I said and she looked at me with fire in her eyes.

“Do you want me to suspend you Ms. Shin? You are going overboard already” she threatened and I just surrendered.

I can’t afford a suspension now for our examinations are nearing and I don’t want to be left out with lessons once again. This is so crazy of me, I can’t even understand why I’m in fumes when I’m not like this before.

“Ishi!” I heard Eun hee call out and I peeked out from a cubicle.

“What?” I asked.

“Gosh! Your head is still hot? Wow! This is the first time that you are firing all day” she said and I gave her a toilet cleaner.

“Just help me here….I want to finish this early” I told her and she got the cleaner in disgust.

“I swore to myself that I won’t do this again and here I am…cleaning a freakin toilet bowl” she said, making me chuckle.

“Did you know that Ms. Kim is planning to suspend me? According to her…I’m going too far already…this whole ing out is bringing me into trouble and it’s making me insane” I said and she shook her head.

“You know what? Just snap out of the whole Jiyong thing…you don’t have to give a damn on him if he doesn’t give a damn on you….yes…he’s super busy…but what the hell! If he really wants to make time for you…he’ll do it no matter how hectic he is” she said and I nod in agreement.

“I know that being G-dragon isn’t easy….and I totally understand his job…thing is….he’s pushing me to the limit and I can’t seem to take it” I said in annoyance.

“That’s life…you are dating one of the most popular people on earth….but then again…you should just give him another chance…you know so well how much he loves you….and I’m pretty sure that he badly wants to be with you…thing is…he really can’t find time for it” she said and I smirked.

“If he loves me…he will at least visit me while training…or drop by my apartment even just for a few minutes” I said and she sighed.

“Actually…this is one of my fears….he once told me that the reason why he and his ex broke up is because of lack of time….not only because of all the rumors being thrown at her…like me….she has understood everything and have tried his world up…but in the end….she gave up and it’s all because she got tired and sick of what’s happening….and I’m telling you this…I’m gettin