“When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves-they threaten their own self-esteem and their relationships with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to succeed and in their ability to be true”

I’ve lost it. My life, my will to live, my enthusiasm to all the good things this world can bring and most especially, my husband. I’m all alone now. Shattered, broken and definitely lifeless. If only I can stop breathing, I would’ve done it already. I’m missing my life before all this happend and how I wish I can bring it all back in just a snap of a finger.

It’s been days now since that miserable and excruciating morning. G-dragon caught me with another guy in bed. Worst is, the guy that I am with is his rival. I did the most stupid thing and even though I was in denial for so long, it all comes down to one real thing and that is, I’ve cheated, I’m the who didn’t use her healthy brain and now, I’m suffering.

“Oppa! STOP IT! STOP IT!” I shouted for my husband is near to killing Khun already.

“OPPA!” I wrapped my body with a duvet and ran to where the boys are.

“STOP IT!” I hold onto G-dragon’s arm.

“AAHH!” I shrieked when my back slammed onto the wall.

He will not listen to me. He even shoved me. I don’t know what more G-dragon can do with Khun, but I’m sure that he can kill him. I can see anger in my husband’s eyes and it’s the first time that I ever saw him raging like that.

“Oppa! Please!” I pleaded while trying to lift my aching body up.

My body slammed so hard on the wall and my back is giving me pain, but I can’t just sit there and watch the boys kill each other. Khun is fighting back already and he has punched G-dragon a few times as well.

“NO! STOP!” I shouted when Khun grabbed G-dragon by the collar and pinned him on the wall.

“NO!” I ran to where my husband is and blocked him from Khun’s punch.

The man hit my back. He hit me so bad that my breathing became erratic. I know that G-dragon can feel my pain coz he has felt the impact of that punch on my back. I was expecting for blood to spurt out from my mouth and thankfully it didn’t happen for I’ll surely go insane.

“ISHI!” Eon entered my room and got shocked by what he saw.

“What is happening here?” he asked with his eyes darting from me to Khun then G-dragon.

“I’m out of here” G-dragon pushed me away from him, causing me to lose my balance but Khun was able to catch me.

“NO! Oppa! Wait! Don’t leave!” I removed Khun’s hands away from me and was about to chase my husband, but Eon grabbed my arm.

“What are you going to do?” Eon asked.

“I’m going after my husband” I answered and he shook his head.

“You’re going to chase him with only a duvet wrapped around you?” he asked.

“I’m going to chase after him and I don’t care if I’m ” I said and removed his hand away from my arm.

Yes, I ran around the hotel with only a thick duvet wrapped around my body. It made a fuss around but I don’t care about the people at all. I looked around for him, but found nothing. He left so fast and I was devastated and in ruins.

“There you are” Eon said when he saw me at the hallway “Come” he helped me to my room for I’m obviously not in my element anymore.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t even remember anything. I don’t even know why Khun is beside me and how he got there. I’ve been squeezing my brain for a little detail of last night, but it’s not giving me even a drop of it. All I know is that, we went to a club for our director’s birthday party and I drank a little, but that’s just it, I can’t remember anything after that.

“Ishi” Khun called the moment I entered my room.

“What happened last night?” I asked without looking at him.

“You got drunk…I’m the one who brought you here…and…you….I…..” he stuttered and I looked straight into his eyes.

“We what? We had ? Oh ! My brain’s got liquid…it’s so obvious we did coz you’re only in your boxers and I’m freakin ” I said and he gave out a heavy sigh.

“Ishi” he walked to me, hold my arms and I brushed it off.

“Don’t touch me” I told him and he sighed.

“Look…I know that this is all a mistake and if there’s someone to blame here…it’s me….I took advantage of you…and I’m sorry for that…don’t worry…I’ll explain everything to you husband” he said and I smirked.

“How? How are you going to explain this to him? Huh? And if you ever got the chance to explain things….will it matter? Are we going back to normal after that? Is he going to take me in again? Khun….I don’t know what exactly happened last night…but I know that this stupidity will surely kill the best of me….and none of us can patch things up” I said and walked off.

“Khun…you can leave now…I can handle this already” Eon told him.

I know that what I did will end my marriage and I can’t believe that I did this. I don’t know who to blame. Maybe it’s me, or Khun or the both of us. Why is this even happening? Why am I being punished?

“What have I done?” I asked with my soul out of my body.

“You screwed up” Eon answered, making me look at him.

“I cannot believe that I’m the one who screwed up…this is so unexpected” I told him and he sighed.

“I don’t know if the phrase “ happens” still applies to you….coz Ishi…this is stupidity….it’s not just some ” he said and I smirked.

“I can be killed for this…I mean…I just cheated over my husband…worst is…I cheated out of consciousness” I said and he sat in front of me.

“Khun told me everything awhile ago…do you want to know it?” he asked and I just stared at him.

“OK” he said and sighed “You were so wasted last night coz you’ve drank A LOT…Khun was the one who brought you here…he was about to leave you already but you mistake him and thought that he’s Jiyong…you started talking crap…you stripped in front of him….kissed him…and the man gave in…he cannot stop himself from drooling…of course…who will not take advantage…right? You can’t blame him….the guy has feelings for you…and here you are…giving yourself to him….who wouldn’t take it? But then again…it’s a stupid move for he knows that it’s not really him in your mind and you’re someone else’s wife” he finished and my mind just can’t process everything in.

I was wasted and even mistaken him as G-dragon. Does it count as cheating? I mean, I don’t even know that I’m having with another man for in my mind, it’s my husband I’m playing around in bed with. I just can’t believe that Khun was able to do that to me. No. I’m not blaming him for all of this, but it’s just so unbelievable coz he’s not that kind of guy who would take advantage of a drunken girl.

“What are you doing?” Eon asked when I started packing my things.

“We’re going back to Korea” I answered and he stopped me.

“We can’t just go back Ishi…you still have things to do here” he said and I removed his hand away from my arm.

“I’m done here Eon…TOTALLY DONE” I said and continued packing.

This is my cue to leave and I don’t care if I still got a lot of things to do in this freaking place. What’s important to me now is my marriage and my husband even though I haven’t figured out how to fix it yet. If I have to cross the seven seas just to get him back again, I will, and there’s no one stopping me.

“Oh !” Eon said while looking at his laptop.

“Ishi Shin…you’re freaking dead” he said and I just stared at him.

I’m already dead and if a new article about me is out, I’m all good with it. After all, I’m starting to lose grip of myself already. Scandals can now ruin me and I will not even fight it anymore.

“Read this” he showed me an article about me and the things that just happened awhile ago.

                                        {Ishi Shin caught in between}                        

Yesterday, rumors of