“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up”

It’s another week of misery for Mr. Kwon Jiyong. I don’t know what life is about already coz I don’t care about it at all anymore. I’m like a broken glass that people are trying to fix, but I’m hopeless. Nobody can fix me unless your name is Ishi Shin. Yeah. That girl is the only person who can get me out of my miserable world. The girl who made me fall in love with her madly and who broke my heart in just a split second. I’m mad at her. Thing is, I can’t stay mad at her for long coz my love for her is greater than anything.

“Jiyong! Jiyong!”

“Jiyong! Wake up!”

The moment I heard someone calling my name, the first person that came in mind is Ishi. I remember when we were still living together, she will be the one waking me up most of the time with her “Jiyong! Wake up!” trademark that soon became “Jiyong Oppa…you need to wake up now”.

“Jiyong! Wake up!”

Am I dreaming or is the one outside really Ishi? Her voice is much like her and the way she calls my name is the same as well.

“Is….”I opened the door excitedly but was disappointed “Hi…” I said upon seeing Noona.

“Good Morning baby brother! Time to eat breakfast!” she hugged my arm and smiled at me.

“AISH!”

“OMO! What’s with that?” she asked and I sighed heavily.

“Noona…if you’re going to wake me up…do something unique...don’t just shout my name” I told her, pissed.

“YAH! YAH YAH! Tell me…is there any unique way of waking someone up?” she asked.

“Yes” I answered.

“O…K….tell me what that is” she crossed her arms across her chest with her an eyebrow raised.

“There’s this girl who showers her boyfriend with a lot of kisses just to wake his lazy up...and her boyfriend will pretend to be sleeping even if he’s all awake just for her to continue what she’s doing…it was a sweet thing…and I’m missing it” I said and Noona hugged me.

“Aigoo…don’t you dare cry…Noona is not ready for your tears” she said but I can’t help it, tears started flowing down my cheeks already.

I’m not the only one hurting. My family is also grieving because they just lost a precious in-law. I actually thought that they are going to get mad at Ishi for what she has done, but they didn’t even say anything bad about her, nor did they get mad. Omma and Noona were able to see and talk to Ishi a few days ago, where she apologized to them for breaking my heart. According to them, she looks so fragile and she is thinner than before. I can’t help but be sad for I can feel that my girl is killing herself inch by inch. As a matter of fact, I still can’t understand the reason why she’s still going on with this. What I know is that, the possibility of us being together again is a bit far from happening already.

“Jiyong-ah…Omma’s heart is breaking seeing you like this…you and Ishi are totally killing me” Omma said in the middle of breakfast.

“I miss Aunt Ishi already” Jung su said all of a sudden “Can we got to her house later Uncle?” he asked with eyes full of anticipation.

“We can’t baby boy…I’m sorry” I answered and his eyes started watering.

“But why? She told us that we can always go to her house any time we want” the little boy said and tears started flowing down his cheeks.

“Aigoo…Jung-su ah...stop crying….Omma will bring you there some other time” Noona told her son.

“But I want to go there now…we haven’t seen Aunt Ishi for days already and we miss her” he pushed and for some unexplainable reason, it hit a nerve.

“You will not see Aunt Ishi anymore kids….she and Uncle Ji has broken up now and we don’t have any connection to her anymore…so stop crying and don’t even expect that you will see her any time soon…you’re not the only one missing her….but we have to this all up for she’s gone already….completely gone so forget about her” I said and walked out of the dining area.

I just can’t believe that I was able to talk like that in front of my nephews and niece. For all I know, I shouldn’t be lashing out whatever I feel to them for they are innocent kids who only want to spend some time with their favorite Aunt.

And with that, Jung su and Jin ae ignored me all throughout. They left without even saying a word to me. I feel so bad for I just ruined their day. But then again, this is reality and I have to make them face it for I don’t want them to have high hopes that they can still see Ishi for I know that they won’t even have a glimpse of her anymore.

After my family left, I hit the bathroom for a short bath and went to the YG building right away. Once again, I’m back in my workaholic life and although I’m still grieving for my lost love, I don’t have a choice but to show up in every performance and concert. I actually feel like I’m fooling everybody whenever I fake a smile or a laugh, but I have to do it coz I don’t want our fans to worry about me.

“Oh! Jiyong-ah!” Teddy hyung said the moment I entered the studio.

“Hyung….did the members start recording already?” I asked and he smirked.

“Wow! You are talking about work even before you settle in your seat” he said and I chuckled.

“I really want to get down to business right away” I told him and he sighed heavily.

“You know what? I think…you have to go down to the dance studio right now….the boys are there…Se7en and Hyan suk hyung are with them as well…the cast won’t be complete without you” he said and I looked at him curiously.

“What are they doing there?” I asked.

“They are going to watch the trainees perform….Youngbae just told me that he saw Ishi awhile ago at the lobby…so I’m pretty sure that you will see your girl perform there” he answered and I immediately went out of the studio.