“No one can ever understand love. It has its own reasons, its own answer, its own explanations. Maybe it was never meant to be understood”

“This is not real” I thought to myself upon seeing G-dragon beside me, his facing me.

“No…this isn’t real…it can’t be” I sat up and looked under the duvet just to see that I’m not wearing anything expect my .

Why did this happen? What’s gotten into me? What made me give in to him? For all I know, my purity preservation is still on the roll and I’m also firm in saying that can wait, then why does this happen?

I’m pretty sure that if my grandmother is still alive, she will scold me to death and ground me for life. It’s also possible that she’s going to force me and G-dragon to get married. Actually, that’s more like it.

As a matter of fact, I don’t know how to react to this. I’m feeling my whole body and is weighing my emotions as well. All I know is that I feel weird and a little uncomfortable down there. I’m also in a pool of emotions and it’s so crazy for the things that happened last night flashed back to me all of a sudden. His touch, his kisses, his stares, and the sweet words that came out of his mouth to ease my pain, it was indeed magical, but totally unexpected.

“No Lucky….just stay there…you’ll wake Appa up” I told him when he was about to jump up in bed.

Honestly, I’m nervous and giddy at the same time, for I know that once he wakes up, there is a possibility of us being awkward and somewhat uncomfortable to each other. I don’t know if that’ll just apply to me, but I can just sense it.

“What the hell!” I exclaimed upon seeing red marks on my neck, down.

I know that he’s the one to blame for this, but it was just too much. It actually adds up to the bruises that I had, brought by the fan attack a few days ago. This is totally new to me and it’s just so insane. This whole thing is making me feel like crap. Actually, all that happened last night made me feel like a failure for I didn’t keep my promise and gave in just like that. I know that this will soon happen and now that it has been done, I can never bring it all back.

“I’m so sorry Grandma” I said while looking at her picture.

I’m pretty sure that she’s really disappointed at me right now, for I broke my promise to her. She has been very consistent in reminding me that I should wait till the night of my wedding to experience coz it’s the right time for it. That a girl shouldn’t be giving her all to any man, except to the one whom she is sure that will stand and be with her forever. Yes, I do think and even believe that my right man is G-dragon, but it’s just too early to tell if my thoughts and beliefs are true. I guess right now, all I can do is accept that this already happened and just go on with my life.

With my fresh-from-crying eyes, I head o the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Actually, I’m starving and I can already sense that G-dragon feels the same way as well.

Seems like my mind is so clouded and out of the real world coz even though I can smell the bacons burning and hear the kettle whistling like hell, I don’t give a damn at all.

“Baby”

“ISHI!” he called out, snapping me back to my senses.

“Oh Oppa!” I jerked up and knocked the glass of water in front of me.

“Aigoo” he said and rushed to me.

“It’s all good Oppa…I can handle this” I told him while picking up the pieces of glass on the floor.

“AAAHH!” I shrieked in pain and next thing I know it, I’m seeing blood dripping on the floor coming from my finger.

“AISH! You’re being careless once again” he grabbed my hand and the blood off my finger.

His lips feels weird, our skin touching feels odd as well, and I can’t even look straight at him. My heart is screaming along with my soul and all I wanna do is cry. I know that I’m acting overly, but my purity is the only thing that I can be proud of, and now that it was taken away from me, I feel like a handicap who is missing a part of my body and my soul just lost an important part of its being.

“ummm” I just looked at what he’s doing “OH SHOOT!” I rushed to the stove right away after seeing thick smoke.

Well, the bacon that I’m cooking is already turning black and it’s about to cause fire, while the kettle is whistling like crazy.

“Ishi” G-dragon touched my shoulder and it made me flinch.

“I’ll try to cook another one…ummm…what do you want to eat Oppa?” I tried to sound as normal as possible, but I just can’t hide my true feelings.

“I’m not hungry” he said and the awkwardness started.

This is really weird. I feel like I need to talk to him but I can’t find the right words and it seems like I just lost my voice. All I can do right now is stare at him and try to read whatever is running in his mind. He’s giving me a blank expression and it’s making my mind swirl for it looks like we’re both weighing each other. Why are we acting like this in th