“A girl should always have 2 things, a smile on her face and a guy who inspires it”

The moment I heard her screaming, my whole body shuddered for she sounds so angry and I’ve never seen or even heard her in rage. I don’t know what to do, I want to run to her but my feet just won’t move. She hates herself, that’s what I’m hearing and she’s tired. At that point, I suddenly recalled everything that I have done and said to her. There’s this thought that maybe she’s being like this because she’s sick of how her life with me is going. I know that I didn’t do anything bad for I’ve always been good and loving to her, and hurting her is the last thing on my mind.

“I HATE ALL OF YOU!”

“I’M SICK AND TIRED OF ALL OF YOU!”

“That’s it” I said to myself and barged in the room.

The sight of her is just so painful to see for she’s totally going ballistic. It’s like a monster just unleashed in her. All of her things are on the floor, her mirror has broken and her knuckles are bleeding like hell. All I can feel is pain while hearing her cry and this is the very first time that I didn’t know what to do. I’m clueless. I don’t know what’s going on.

I was able to stop her, she fell in my arms and slide down the floor. Her body is shaking and my heart is breaking. My mind is clouded with a lot of questions and fear enveloped me. The woman in my arms is different from the woman that I made love with a few minutes ago. I cannot read her now unlike before. I feel like she’s locked in a cage full of pain and I don’t even know how to get her out of it.

 “They hate me….ALL OF THEM HATES ME!”

All I can see in her eyes is anger. She’s giving up and this is not the woman that I bumped into a restaurant months ago. She’s cold inside and I know that no matter how hard I try to warm her, it won’t work. I feel so helpless. No. She’s making me feel so helpless.

“….it’s like I’m a deadly virus that once they go near me…they’ll die…Oppa…have you felt this unwanted all your life?...PSH! Of course not coz you are G-dragon…how stupid can I be for asking that?”

“….because I don’t want to burden you with my freakin problems….you are too occupied to even care on what’s going on with me….

I didn’t know that she’s being mistreated in school. These past few days has been a struggle for us because  I’m so busy in preparing for my upcoming album and comeback that whenever she wanted to talk, I’ll always excuse myself for I need to do something or I’m too tired to even open my mouth. I guess, I’m the one who is to be blamed for this coz she has been trying to talk to me about this matter but I’m too occupied to even listen.

“...I hate to say this…but you are sharing me with a lot of guys….and you just didn’t know it…you don’t deserve this dirty girl Oppa…you deserve a cleaner one….a girl who is not wrecked and broken”

My body went cold upon hearing this. I didn’t know that her magazine appearance is still an issue and worst is, there are stupid people who are making a small thing, big. Yes, it is just a petty thing for it’s just a photo and nothing was seen at all. Yes, it’s so painful to hear that I’m sharing her with a lot of guys coz all I want is for her to be mine. ALL MINE. These guys have gotten pleasure from her and she has pleased them in their minds. It is a big deal to me, but I can’t do anything already. I’m selfish when it comes to her and all these guys can do is look at that one picture, while I feel every inch of her.

“So what now? You’re going to ask me to break up with you? To end this relationship just because I’m sharing you with guys and you’re broken and wrecked? Is this whole thing going to end up with the phrase “Let’s just break up Oppa”…huh? Are you acting like this just because you want us to end already?”

I don’t know where and how these words came out of my mouth. I guess, this whole drama has taken a toll on me already for I can feel that she wants to push me away from her. That in her mind, she needs to leave me for I don’t deserve to have a girl like her. What the hell! I don’t even mind if she’s wrecked as hell and can’t be fixed anymore. All I want is her, whole, fixed or not.

“Oppa” she looked at me, this time her eyes are a little calm already.

“What? Are you going to break up with me now?” I asked and she cried hard.

“I’d rather die than break up with you….thing is….I’m being a burden to you already” she said and I pulled her for a hug.

“Ishi….you’re not being a burden to me…you’re the only one thinking that….Oppa will take and up every problem that comes to you…I will not get tired of loving you” I cupped her face with both hands and wiped her tears with my thumb.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into Oppa…a perfect guy like you deserves more…I can be the end of your good life and it’ll make me feel more crap once that happens…yes…we do love each other…SO MUCH…but is our love enough to fix me? Is it enough to end all these freakin problems of mine?”  she asked and suddenly I felt like we’re ending already.

“Oppa…you should save yourself while it’s still early….break up with me now….and yes….I’m begging you to let me go…not because I don’t love you anymore….but because I want you to live the life that you deserve to have…the life without a wrecked girl like me….I’m not the girl that you’ve met months ago in the restaurant…that girl has been stepped on by a lot of people these past few weeks and she’s about to die already…the girl in front of you is pained….dead…and totally wasted…and if you’re going to stick with her…she’ll drag you down for sure...so better let go now” she removed my hands away from her and I just stared at her, not knowing what to do and say.

Is this really happening? Why does everything feel like a big joke to me? Is she playing a prank? Are her words true? Why can’t I speak? Where’s my voice? Where’s my freakin mind? Why does my heart suddenly stopped beating? Why is she doing this to me? Why is that whenever things are going well, here comes a huge wave of ing problems, ready to wash away the bliss and fun of everything? WHY? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?

“I’m going to clean your wound…just stay here” I don’t know what to say anymore and the blood dripping on the floor annoys me, that’s why I’ve decided to clean her wound to make it stop.

The moment I got out of her room, I broke down. My tears flowed non-stop and as much as I want to scream, I just hold it in for I don’t want her to know that I’m breaking. I need to be strong for the both of us and I’m brushing off the things that she said awhile ago most especially the part when she wants to break up with me.

“OMO! Jiyong…what’s up?” Eun hee asked.

“I know that you still have classes but….can you go here at Ishi’s?” I asked without answering her question.

“Why? What happened to her? Gosh! You’re making me worried!” she said as I try to stop sobbing.

“Just…go here…please” I pleaded and she sighed.

“Alright…Dong min and I will be there in a few minutes” she said.

“Thank you” I said and hanged up.

I need to call for back up and her best friends are the most effective and the best of all. Of course, I also called my family for help. I know that they can enlighten Ishi and I’m praying that they can still do something about our almost dying relationship.

“What? Ishi is trying to break up with you? Why? YAH! What did you do wrong this time?” Noona bombarded me with questions and I can feel anger in her voice.

“Noona…I didn’t do anything…the people around her are the ones to blame for this…. and her mind as well…she’s thinking way too much and I’m not enough to get her out of those thoughts…I need your help…badly” I said and started crying again.

“Aigoo…this is the first time that you called me for help…and I can’t believe that you’re crying…she means a lot to you and I can totally see and feel that…alright…noona will go there…I’ll call Appa and Omma as well….we’ll be there baby brother…don’t worry…your girl isn’t going anywhere” she said and it made my heart melt.

This is the first time that I’ve asked help from my family about love. I don’t know, but they have a special spot in Ishi’s heart and I know that she will listen to them. I cannot lose her, I don’t want to and I won’t let it happen. I’m going to fight for her till the end and I wouldn’t even take her words seriously for all of them are plain bull.

“I can clean my own wound…no need to help me” she said with in cold tone.

“Just give me your hand” I told her, but she didn’t even budge.

“AISH!” I grabbed her hand in a rough manner and placed it on my thigh.

“AAHHHH!” she shrieked in pain when I pulled out a piece of glass out of her knuckle.

“These cuts won’t heal easily…I’m telling you” I said while wrapping her hand with gauze.

“At least they would heal…how I wish I can too” she said and I just looked at her and sighed.

“Why aren’t you leaving yet?” she asked, earning a smirk from me.

“Why would I leave? I belong here” I answered and she gave out a heavy sigh.

“Done” I said and she just stared at me.

“I’m letting you save your life from a near disaster and yet you’re still here” she said and I chuckled.

“I’d rather lose everything than lose you….I will not go anywhere without you…keep that in mind” I told her and stood up “I’ll just go out” I said and went out o