What Do You Really Want?
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/680013/what-do-you-really-want-highschool-yoonmin-bts-bangtan-taekook-namjin-jhopexoc

About: Taehyung(BTS)+Jungkook(BTS), Jimin(BTS)+Yoongi(BTS), Jin(BTS)+Namjoon(BTS), J-Hope(BTS)+OC, romance, , highschool, fluff, comedy, slight angst

Ahri
Finished 4/12/14

Note: I am so sorry for this very overdue review! It's because Roseline had some computer problems, and I had to wait for her to finish up before starting my reviews.

Title: 2/5 I do not like your title because it's too general. It also sounds like a title to a book on improving self-esteem. You can do so much better with getting a more original title! This title doesn't relate to anything in your story really. It somehow does, but it's really vague and basically relates to everything. Make it relate discreetly!

Foreword: 9/10 First of all, I love your description! I love how you list out all the couples, and this made me genuinely excited to read your story, because this actually seems like something I would love.

This is optional, so I'm not going to take points off, but you should really move your character list and quotes to the foreword instead of squeezing them into the description. The way you organized them is fine, but this way just looks better.

Now, your character list. If you're going to make a list, at least give them a description. It doesn't have to be one than one sentence, but don't just put their age and name and then leave it like so. For example, "Jeon Jungkook, goody two-shoes, artistic genius." or "Kim Taehyung, badass gangster". You don't have to do exactly that, but do give a short description.

Plot: 17/20 The only thing off is your plot. While I like how the sideplots piece the story together like a puzzle, your overall plot is so cliché! There really aren't anything that sets it apart from other plots, but I do like how you write it. Try to make the story more unique because I see a lot of opportunities for you to do so!

Characters: 20/20 I love all of your characters and how you make can give them all a different personality, which is hard to do. You give your characters individual personalities that set them apart and make them easily recognized through the crowd of characters. The main thing that really set your story in place is how you focus mostly on Jungkook and Taehyung's romance but also have side pairings to spice up the story.

Grammar and Spelling: 18/20 You don't have any major spelling or grammar mistakes, just petty typos that can be overlooked easily.

Chapter 3 P(aragraph)6 "But we don't ask you..." should be "But we didn't ask you..."
2. P66 "...Yoongi accidently kicked some sophomores when he leaned..." should be '...Yoongi accidentally kicked some sophomores when he leaned...'
3. P86 "...and seevwho of you will get into our basketball team." should be "...and see which of you will get into our basketball team."
4. P105 "One won, two to go." should be "One win, two to go."
5. P148 "Even though it's Mai..." should be "Even though it's May..."

Chapter 5 P19 "...and with a dog in his arms something Jungkook didn't approved at all." should be '...and with a dog in his arms, it was exhausting standing there.'

Flow: 15/15 Normally, I would say that your flow is too fast, but since your story has a lot of couples, the flow is perfectly fine since you need a way to introduce all of them at the same time. You also give a bit of background information about Jungkook throughout the chapters, one by one, so that's good. Your sideplots also come in slowly, so full points for flow!

Enjoyment: 5/5 I love the entire story despite the cliché plot! It was more because of your characters that really made your story stand out.

Structure: 5/5 I absolutely love your chapter titles! I love how you name them after songs. Your story is really organized and neat, so full marks!

Overall: 91/100 Your plot is somewhat cliché, and you can do so much better with it, so look around and see where you could insert a twist! Your characters are amazing! It's difficult to give this many characters all a different personality, but you did it amazingly, which I love! Your characters have their own individual personalities. Your grammar is pretty good, but you just have a few typos. Your title can also change a lot.