Junhyung’s POV

“HYUNG! HYUNG! HYUNG!!!” Someone shook me hard.

“Mmmm…” I covered the pillow over my face and turned away from the voice.

“HYUNG!!!!!!” The voice whined.

“Wae???” I mumbled.

“Hyung! Wake up!” More hands started touching me.

“Go away…” I whined.

“If you don’t open your eyes, I’m going to crush your Donald Duck.” The voice said.

Donald Duck? DONALD DUCK!!

“NO!!!!” I shot up.

“I told you that would work!” Yoseob hi-fived Dongwoon.

“What is wrong with you two!?” I shouted, feeling irritated at the fact they woke me up from my sleep.

They pouted at me.

“I… I’m sorry…” I apologized, feeling guilty.

They started giggling and throwing themselves onto me.

“Aghhhh!!! Get off me!!!” I shouted.

My room door slammed opened and the other boys joined in the fun.

“SAENGIL CHUKA, JUNNIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” They shouted while on top of me.

“GET OFF!!!” I managed to choke out.

“No!! Not until you say the magic word!” Doojoon smiled.

“PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I shouted.

They got off me and started laughing.

“Happy Birthday.” They said, taking turns to hug me.

So, today is my birthday. How come I don’t feel anything at all?

“Go wash up and come out okay!” Hyunseung said.

I nodded.

When they left the room, I sat on my bed, staring out at the window. I never like birthdays, because they remind me of what I do not have. In the past, it reminded me of my family. Now, it reminded me of Haneul. I thought we could spend today together, but I guess I am just alone.

I went to wash up and went outside. The dining table was filled with a wide spread of food. It reminded me of the day my family left me, there were a lot of food too.

“Junnie Hyung.” Dongwoon called.

“Yea?” I snapped out of my thoughts.

“Is something wrong?” He asked.

I shook my head and smiled.

“Sit down!” Kikwang said, pushing me to the center seat.

“You haven’t been eating well. I will use today as an excuse to stuff you with food.” Doojoon said, putting food on my plate.

“Thank you, Hyung.” I mumbled.

“Don’t sulk! It’s your birthday!” Hyunseung said.

“I know. Just.. I’m very touched. Thank you.” I smiled.

“OH I FORGOT!!” Yoseob shouted and ran into the kitchen.

He came out with a bowl in his hand. He put it in front of me. It was seaweed soup.

“Seobie Hyung, are you sure it’s safe? Last year you made Junnie Hyung sick.” Dongwoon said.

“MY MOM MADE THIS!” Yoseob shouted.

We all laughed, remembering the seaweed soup Yoseob attempted to make on his own. It was just weird, but I drank it all, and then for the rest of the day, my stomach went on a roller coaster ride.

“I know you don’t like it, but it’s a must to drink. So, drink it, please.” He said.

He is right. I never liked seaweed soup. I used to like it, but ever since my family abandoned me, I stopped drinking it. Why? Because my mom makes the best seaweed soup ever, and I don’t wish to be reminded of it.

“Thank you.” I said, taking the bowl in my hands and drinking everything in a gulp.

They cheered and we started eating. After food, they handed me my presents and we set off for work. We had dance practice the whole day since there weren’t any schedules today. Birthdays had no special meaning to me now, it was just like any other day, just that today somehow everyone seem to notice my presence and actually greet me.

“Junnie, you sure you don’t want to come out?” Doojoon asked.

“Yea, I’m fine here.” I said.

We were taking a break from our practice and they wanted to go out to get some hot drinks.

“Okay then. See you later.” He said as they walked out, leaving me alone in the room.

I lied down on the floor and closed my eyes. I started thinking about my family. It has been a few years since we met. Do they think of me? Do they watch me on television? I miss them thou. I miss them very, very much. And Haneul, where is she now? Is she doing well? Does she know that it’s my birthday today? Does she miss me? Does she think of me? I miss her thou. I miss her very, very much too.

I never liked to celebrate birthdays. Not just because it reminded me of my family, but also because the day my family left me, it was my birthday. I never told the boys. I didn’t want to spoil their mood. I didn’t want them to have another thing to worry about. Only Seungho Hyung knows.

/FLASHBACK

I sat at the dining table, staring at the wide spread of food. I’ve reread the letter my mom wrote over and over again, in hope that I read it wrongly, but no, the words never changed, I never read wrongly. They left me, it’s real.

“Why?” I asked myself, hugging my knees.

I picked up the chopstick and started shoving the food, piece by piece into my mouth. If my mom knows that I’ve eaten everything she cooked, would she be happy and return to me? Why did they have to choose today to leave me? There are 365 days in a year, why does it have to be today? Why not yesterday or tomorrow? Why today?

My stomach was starting to hurt from the fullness, but I didn’t stop. If they weren’t coming back, this would be the last meal my mom cooked for me. I had to finish it no matter what. I wipe my tears that never seem to stop while forcing the food down my throat.

The door bell rang, shocking me, causing me to choke. I stood up immediately, thinking maybe my family decided to not leave me after all. In a hurry, I tripped over the chair and fell flat on my face. I picked myself up and  ran to the door.

“UMMA!!” I shouted as I opened the door.

“HAPPY ~ What?” Seungho Hyung looked at me.

“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NOSE!? WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING!?” He shouted, tilting my head backwards as he helped me to the sofa.

“Wait.” He said as he ran into the kitchen.

He came back with a cold towel. He helped me stop the bleeding. By then, I was sobbing like a child. It was so embarrassing but I couldn’t control myself.

“Why? Does it hurt a lot?” He asked, trying to be as gentle as possible.

I shook my head and buried my face in my palms.

“I’m not done. Junhyung…” He shook me.

“Tell me what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Where is everyone? Junhyung ah, you’re scaring me. Please.” He pulled me into his arms.

“Hyung…. They left me..” I said in between my sobs.

“Who left? What’s wrong?” He asked.

“THEY LEFT ME!!!! MY WHOLE ING FAMILY LEFT ME!!!!” I yelled, kicking the coffee table.

Seungho Hyung looked at me in surprised.

“What?” He asked.

“THEY LEFT ME!!!! BECAUSE I AM A FREAK!!!! I AM A FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!” I shouted, pushing all the plates on the dining table onto the floor.

I watch the glass plates hit the floor and then shattered into a million pieces, just like my heart. My knees went weak and I fell to the floor. The glass bits stabbed into my skin, but I couldn’t feel the pain at all, because the pain in my heart was too overwhelming.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” Seungho Hyung shouted, pulling me up.

“I am a freak!” I cried.

He hugged me tight, despite getting cut by the glass bits himself.

“Shhh… I’m here, I’m here.” He coaxed me.

After everything calmed down, we both sat down on my bed.  I told him everything including my period. His eyes were so wide that I feared it would fall out of its socket, but he never questioned, neither did he show the slightest bit of disgust.

 “I’m sorry.” He said.

“Hyung, it’s not your fault. I should be the one apologizing. You got hurt because of me.” I said, pointing at his cuts.

“These are nothing.” He said.

“I just… I…” I started crying all over again.

“I’m a freak.” I said.

“No! You’re not! Don’t ever say that about yourself!” He shouted.

“If not, why did they leave!? Why did my family leave!? Why does it have to be today!?” I shouted.

“I don’t know. I really don’t. But I know you’re not a freak. You’re not!” He shook me.

“WHAT KIND OF A GUY HAS PERIODS!?” I yelled.

“I DON’T KNOW! BUT YOU’RE NOT A FREAK!” He grabbed my cheeks and stared hard at me.

“Hyung, what am I going to do now?” I asked, tears falling uncontrollably.

“Look, you’re welcome to stay with me. I live alone, you know that.” He said.

“I can’t.” I said.

“Why not? I can’t just leave you alone here.” He said.

“I can take care of myself.” I said.

“You can’t! Just look at you!” He said.

After much debate, he gave up trying to convince me to stay with him. I was troublesome enough, I didn’t want to be a burden to him.

I spend the next few days looking for my family. I went to everywhere possible, but I couldn’t find them. I was a mess. I hadn’t eaten, showered or rested. Then it suddenly struck me, they really wanted to leave me, that’s why they left no trace at all.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine. Yong Junhyung, you would be fine.” I told myself as I headed home.

I packed my stuff and took one last look at the place I called home before locking the door. I headed to Seungho Hyung’s place. He opened the door with half opened eyes and messy hair.

“Hyung, is your invitation still valid?” I asked.

He rubbed his eyes and looked at me in shock.

“OF COURSE! COME IN!” He pulled me in, smiling widely.

From that day onwards, Seungho Hyung became more than just a friend. He is my brother, my mother, my father, my savior.

/END OF FLASHBACK

I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from crying too loudly. After so many years, I still haven’t accepted the fact that I am all that is left of my family. They aren’t coming back to me anymore. They have left to lead another life, without me.

The lights suddenly went out. I shot up and ran to the switch. I tried to turn it on but it wouldn’t work. I was reminded of that time where I got locked up in class by group of seniors. If not for Haneul, I would have to spend the night there. Who knows what would have become of me when they finally find me the next day.

Haneul; I really miss her.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!” The door suddenly opened, the light from outside shining in, brightening up the room suddenly. I shield my eyes from the sudden brightness.

A cake in a shape of a coke can appeared in my face. The boys, together with the boys from MBLAQ as well as my manager, the dance instructor and some other Noonas screamed the birthday song into my face.

I looked down, smiling and feeling embarrassed.

“Is our Junnie feeling embarrassed?” Seungho Hyung said, lifting my chin.

“Ah Hyung..” I whined.

“Aigoo! Don’t aegyo to us!” Doojoon said.

“Make a wish before you blow out the candles!” Hyunseung said.

In the past, I wished to see my family again, but they all never came true. So much for wishes.  

‘I wish Haneul would come back.’

I blew out the candles and they cheered.