Autumn

Haneul’s POV

“It’s getting colder these days. Me likey~” I said to Junhyung as I covered the blanket over him properly.

“Remember I once told you I hate the cold? Hahaha~ Alright, I lied. I actually love the cold. Especially when there is someone to cuddle with me.” I intertwined my fingers with his.

“Why are your hands so cold? Are you cold?” I asked, rubbing his hands against mine to warm him up.

“Junnie ah, I miss your voice very much, you know.” I said.

“I miss your whining, your laughter. I told you that you shouldn’t do aegyo because it’s ugly, but in fact, it’s really cute. I miss that too. How long are you going to continue sleeping? Summer has passed. You should be up already. The fans are waiting, the boys are waiting, I am waiting.” I said, his hair.

“I know you’re tired, I know you want to rest. But isn’t this too much? If you continue sleeping, you’re going to be rooted onto the bed already.” I said.

“And the Duckies miss you too.” I made the Duckies kiss him on each side of his cheek.

“I miss you the most.” I said, cupping his cheeks.

I wonder if he could hear me. I wonder if he could feel me.

“If you’re not going to hug me, I’m going to hug you.” I said.

Since there were no equipments around him except for the IV drip, it was easy to lift him. I pulled him up, supporting his limp body with my arms. I hugged him, pressing his body close to mine.

“I really miss you a lot, a lot.” I mumbled, rubbing his back, burying my face in his neck.

“Wake up already, huh? Please.” I begged.

“I want to chase you around, fight with you, cuddle with you, argue with you, act like 3-years-old with you. I want you around with me. I’m tired of going to school alone, eating lunch alone, doing everything alone. Although now no one comes and disturb me, but no one wants to be my friend either. I’m really lonely.” I said, biting my lips to prevent myself from bawling my eyes out.

“It’s your fault that I am lonely! I used to be okay with the loneliness! But you! You had to come to me and be my friend and all! Now, I can’t even endure slight loneliness! It’s your entire fault! And then you’re just here, sleeping your life away!” I yelled, pushing him back onto the bed.

“How could you be so irresponsible!? How could you just sleep and sleep and forget the world!?” I screamed.

His lifeless body stared back at me, as thou mocking my outburst.

“I hate you, Yong Junhyung. I really do.” I said, wiping away the tears that fell.

“And you made me broke my promise to myself. EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT! AND WHILE EVERYONE IS WORRYING, YOU’RE JUST SLEEPING!!! HOW COULD YOU!!” I screamed, slapping him across his cheek.

I was about to hit him again when the door flew, revealing the shocked boys.

“CALM DOWN! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” Seungho shouted, grabbing my arms.

“How can he just keep sleeping and sleeping!?” I yelled, kicking wildly.

"I'll bring her out.” I heard him say as he dragged me out.

***

“I knew there was something wrong with you when you were smiling all the time. Haneul ah, no one said you can’t cry. No one said you had to be strong. Why are you doing this to yourself? What good would it do to you? You forced yourself to be strong, but it resulted in an outburst like just now.” He said.

I looked down, letting my tears flow.

“Haneul ah, we’re all here for you. You’re not alone. You don’t have to pretend to be strong.” He said, wiping away my tears.

“I thought I could do it. I thought I could endure till he wakes up. But each day I walk into the room, I see him still lying there, I just feel... Helpless.” I mumbled.

“We’re all as helpless as you are. That is exactly why we should be here for each other, to support each other, and not pretend that everything is okay and then cry when no one is around. Junhyung is our friend, and so are you.” He said.

“You guys have done enough. I don’t wish to be an extra burden to the already very heavy weight all of you are carrying on your backs.” I mumbled.

He suddenly laughed. I looked up at him.

“Don’t you know that you trying to pretend to be happy is even more worrisome to us than you screaming and crying?” He said.

“We all could tell you were hiding something. You’re pretty easy to read you know.” He said.

“Is that a… Compliment or what?” I asked.

“Gosh~ A few months of pointless pressure on yourself has spoilt your brain.” He said, poking my forehead lightly.

"Go wash up and we’ll…” He stopped when his phone rang.

“We’re coming.” He said hurriedly before hanging up the call.

“What is it? Did something happen to Junhyung!?” I yelled.

“Come. Quick.” He said, literally dragging me along as he ran. I never knew he could run so fast.

***

We crashed into the hospital room. Everyone turned to look at the both of us who were panting like crazy. They were smiling. Smiling?

I turned to the bed where Junhyung lied. I choked on my breath when I saw him sitting up, looking at both Seungho and I.

“Jun…” I was cut off by him.

“Seungho. Seungho Oppa!” Junhyung beamed.

“OPPA!?” All the boys shouted in unison.

Seungho looked as thou he stopped breathing.

For that split moment, I forgot to breathe too.

“Wha.. What.. Did you say.. Yong Junhyung?” Seungho choked out as he went pale.

“Seungho Oppa~ Isn’t that you? And what are you calling me? What Junhyung? I’m Jaesoon, Yong Jaesoon.” He said, smiling.

If not because of the wall behind me, I would have fallen flat onto the floor.

Is this some sort of sick joke?