Haneul’s POV

“Isn’t this enough?” Jace asked me.

“What?” I asked, poking my noodles.

“Whatever he did for you, isn’t it enough?” He said, snatching my chopsticks away from me.

“What did he do?” I said.

“Have you ever been splashed on the face by a bowl of hot soup before? Do you want to try?” He frowned.

“Okay! I’m just kidding! I know! I can see! I am not blind!” I said.

“Then how long are you going to hide from the poor guy!?” He shouted.

“Shut up! You’re so noisy!” I said.

“Skye, come on. Don’t lose the chance.” He said.

“I know, I know.” I said.

“You know, you know, but you aren’t doing anything!” He yelled.

“Give me some time.” I said.

“How long do you need!? You’ve been back for a week already! You saw everything. How he sulks in the bookstore, how he treats that soft toy, how much he misses you, and today, you even saw the performance live. Isn’t it enough? Can’t you tell he is desperate?” He said.

“Why does it seem like you want me to be with him? Don’t you love me anymore?” I pouted.

“Precisely because I love you, that’s why I want you to be happy. I know he can give you happiness, or else I wouldn’t even fly back here with you to push you into his arms. I would have kept you in my closet when you came to my place that day.” He said.

“I don’t want to hurt him.” I said.

“What? You don’t want to hurt him? But that’s exactly what you’re doing now! Stupid girl!” He knocked my forehead with his knuckles.

“OUCH!!!” I yelled, stepping hard on his foot.

“You obviously like him!” He frowned.

“What makes you think so?” I said.

“You were smiling like a fool throughout the whole performance! You think I couldn’t see just because it was dark? Come on, you know he was just playing on his words. The ‘haneul’ he mentioned is obviously you.” He said.

“I know.” I smiled.

“You know and then!? Why are you still sitting here like a block of wood!?” He screamed.

“Wood doesn’t sit.” I said.

“Whatever! Suit yourself! Don’t cry when you lose him.” He said, slurping his noodles.

That day when Junhyung confessed, I actually already had my answer for him. I just wasn’t sure of it. I went back to my home country and spilled everything to Jace. He lectured me for days on my stupidity before buying an air ticket for the both of us back here.

Although I did not appear in front of Junhyung, I was always watching him. You can call me a stalker or whatever, but it wasn’t my idea. Jace forced me into it. He followed Junhyung for a few days before forcing me to ‘look at what I have done’ to Junhyung.

I saw how he cried, how he love the soft toy, how he tortured himself. I felt miserable, of course. But for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to appear in front of him. I don’t know why. It is as thou I am not prepared enough.

I was also there at the Gayo Daejun. I was at the highest block. Although I couldn’t see his face clearly, I could hear his voice. He sounded tired and strained. What have I done to him? Why is he doing this to himself because of me? I don’t deserve his love.

“I’m telling you, this kind of thing would never happen again if you don’t grab this chance. He is so madly in love with you that he actually gambled his career. You know how scary fans are. You know how fast they are. He openly mentioned your name. If they find out, in which I am pretty sure they are already digging, it’s either you’ll die or he’ll die. But most probably, he’ll be gone first.” Jace said.

“I didn’t ask for him to do this.” I said.

“Oh my god! You coldhearted girl! How could you actually say that!?” He shouted.

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my drink.

“You’re so mean! Why did he even fall for you?” He said.

“Why did you fall for me then?” I said.

“Ours was mutual! Besides, we didn’t work out.” He said.

“What are you implying!?” I shouted.

“I am implying that if you continue to blind yourself, you’ll lose your chance of being happy.” He said.

“But I don’t want to be happy, at least not here.” I said.

“You’re so cruel. By hiding, you’re killing him slowly.” He said.

“I told him not to love me!” I shouted.

“Do you think he could control it!?” He shouted back.

“Why are you defending him?!” I yelled.

“I’m not defending him. I’m helping you see, Stupid!” He said.

“I can see!” I yelled.

“But you’re not doing anything!” He said.

“I will do something! Just, later.” I mumbled.

“I hope by then you wouldn’t have to tell it to his grave.” He said.

I rolled my eyes and walked out of the restaurant.

“Eat and just walk off!?” He shouted while footing the bill.

“You mean you can’t pay for your friend!?” I shouted.

“You are not my friend! Coldhearted stupid girl!” He shouted.

I kept quiet. He is right. I am cruel and coldhearted. Junhyung, see, I am this kind of person. I don’t deserve your love at all.

“I’ve done whatever I could. It’s all up to you now.” He said, handing his passport to check in.

I nodded, looking down.

“Have you decided?” He asked.

“Yea.” I said.

“Skye, you know I just want you to be happy, right?” He said, pulling me into his embrace.

“I know.” I mumbled, hugging him back.

“I wouldn’t let a rotten person take you. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. He’s really good. I can trust him.” He said.

“But you don’t know him.” I said.

“But you do. You trust him, don’t you? Or else he wouldn’t still be your friend.” He said.

I sighed, burying my face in his chest.

“Give yourself a chance, give him a chance, for all you know, things would work out. Like us, we tried, we didn’t work out, but we remained friends. At least we tried, right?” He said.

I nodded.

“Don’t deny yourself of happiness just because you hate this place. It’s not worth it.” He said.

“I want to go home.” I mumbled.

“Skye, don’t be like this. You know that not everything is under our control. If we can’t change the fact, we can only change ourselves.” He said.

“I know you aren’t coldhearted. You’re the warmest person I’ve ever met. But your smile, your warmth, where have they gone to? I want to see them again.” He said.

“They are long gone.” I said.

“They aren’t gone. You just kept it. Take it out and brighten your life as well as his life.” He said.

“He loves you. We don’t need a genius to tell us that. You obviously know. But I’m not going to decide for you. Whatever decision you make, you know I’ll stand by you.” He continued.

“I know, but I am scared.” I said.

“Come on, he’s not even a cat.” He laughed.

“Tsk!” I slapped his back.

“Okay, okay. Kidding. But seriously, I just want you to be happy. I just want to see you smile again. And I know he can bring out the happiness in you.” He said.

“What if you’re wrong?” I asked.

“Then I’ll fly back here and crush him before crushing myself.” He said.

I laughed and he gave me a kiss on my cheek.

“I have to go.” He said.

I nodded and kissed him back.

“Have a safe flight and, thank you for everything.” I said.

“Anything for my Baby girl. Go home straight and text me when you’re home.” He said.

“You can’t even see the text on the plane.” I said.

“Will I never get off the plane?” He said.

“Maybe~ Hahahaha.” I laughed.

“Go on home!” He pushed me lightly.

“I’ll watch you go in first!” I said.

He smiled and went into the transit area.

After seeing him walk in, I left as well. I received a text from him shortly after.

‘Never regret anything, because at that point of time, it was what you wanted the most.’

I looked at the text and kept my phone. Of course, I have my decision already. But just, how am I going to break it to him?