Junhyung’s POV

I haven’t seen Haneul in almost a week. I was worried, but at the same time I thought it was a good thing. It’s been almost a month but I still couldn’t remember anything. I doubt I would be to anymore. Was she always this stubborn? If she actually gives up on me now, I guess it’ll be a good decision for the both of us.

“Let’s take a ten minute break.” Doojoon said.

I sat down at the side, wiping my face with the towel. It has been a few days since I came back to practice. I guess there is really a difference before and after the coma. I get tired so easily now. I tried my best to hide it from the boys but they always seem to be able to tell. I didn’t want them to stop for me. I didn’t want anyone to have to do things for my sake, including Haneul.

“Junnie,” Yoseob called out.

“Huh?” I looked at him blankly.

“Your phone is screaming. Are your ears okay?” He asked.

“My phone… Oh.” I smiled awkwardly as I went outside to answer the call.

“Hello?” The voice I miss and dread most.

“Hmm.. Hi. How have you been, Haneul ah?” I asked.

“Good. I guess.” She mumbled.

“Haneul ah, I think…” I was cut off by her.

“Meet me at the bookstore after your practice, okay?” She said.

“But… I don’t know what time I’ll end.” I said.

“I’ll wait. If you can’t make it today, then tomorrow, or else the day after, it’s fine, I’ll wait.” She said.

“But… I..” She cut me off again.

“You can ask Seungho for the directions. Or else, I’ll send the directions to you.” She said.

“But Haneul, I…” She cut me off, again.

“Alright, I’ll see you! Bye!” She hung up the call.

“But Haneul, why wouldn’t you ever let me finish? I want to say, you cannot be waiting on me for the rest of your life. Don’t waste your time.” I mumbled.

Haneul’s POV

I held the phone close to my chest.

“Sorry, Junnie ah.” I mumbled.

I knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask me to give up. But how can I just give up? We’ve been through so much and if I can’t withstand a little something like this, then what does it make me, make us? If I give up now, and one day he regains his memory, he comes looking for me asking why did I not go through thick and thin with him like I promised, what was I going to say?

How am I going to face him, face the boys, face my parents if I gave up. Everyone had so much faith in us. Everyone is confident that I would be able to regain his memory. Everyone, including myself. I cannot just let him go like this. I wouldn’t be able to live.

“It’ll be fine. When he finally remembers, we’ll be okay.” I told myself.

***

I waited in the bookstore throughout the night, but he never came. As hurting as it might be, I convinced myself he was cropped up at work. Since he just recovered and they would be embarking on their World tour soon, it is just normal that he is busy.

Day after day, I never knew I could be this patient. Maybe I was desperate, desperate for him to just remember the slightest bit about me. Yea, I guess I am indeed desperate. But as the days pass, I’m starting to lose hope. Is his absence an indication to me that I should just give up?

The door clicked open and I looked up, revealing the figure I miss so much.

“Hi!” I smiled.

He looked at me with a ‘are you crazy?’ look.

“What?” I asked.

“Why are you here?” He asked coldly.

“Well, because I said I would wait for you, right?” I said.

“Haneul ah~” He sighed.

“Hmm?” I looked down, avoiding his eyes.

“Look at me.” He said.

I looked up, but not at him.

He pushed my face to face him.

“Yea?” I mumbled.

“Why are you doing this?” He asked.

“Doing what?” I asked.

“Wasting time on me. It’s.. it’s not gonna work, you know.” He said.

“Why is it not going to work!?” I cried.

He seemed a little taken aback, but he kept his cool.

“I’m not going to remember! So why can’t we just forget it!?” He yelled.

“BUT WE’VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH! YOU’RE GOING TO REMEMBER ME! YOU ARE!!” I cried.

“Don’t be a kid, Haneul ah. You cannot be waiting for me for the rest of your life.” He said.

“I CAN! I CAN WAIT FOR YOU! YOU WAITED FOR ME TO ACCEPT YOU! I DON’T SEEM WHY I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO REMEMBER ME!” I screamed.

“It’s not worth it!” He grabbed my arms.

“IT IS!! HOW CAN YOU SAY OUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT WORTH IT WHEN YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHATSOEVER ABOUT WHAT WE’VE BEEN THROUGH! HOW COULD YOU!?” I pushed him roughly.

“You said it! You said it! I don’t have a clue whatsoever!” He shouted.

“But that doesn’t mean I can just give up.” I fell to the ground, sobbing.

Junhyung’s POV

I plan to make my speech today a really cruel one, to crush her hopes totally. But seeing her cry, I felt like an . Unconsciously, I started crying myself.

“Don’t waste your time.” I said.

“GO! GO AWAY! IF YOU’RE GOING TO COME HERE AND TELL ME SUCH STUFF, THEN OFF!” She yelled, glaring at me with red, swollen eyes.

“I..” I mumbled.

“YOU’RE NOT MY JUNHYUNG! MY JUNHYUNG WOULD NEVER TELL ME SUCH STUFF! I HATE YOU! WHO THE ARE YOU!? WHY ARE YOU TRYING SO HARD TO BREAK ME AND JUNHYUNG UP!?” She screamed until her voice went hoarse.

“Stop wasting your time on me.” I said, biting my lower lip.

As expected, she slapped me hard on my left cheek, but even the stinging pain wasn’t able to make me remember anything.

“YOU’RE NOT JUNHYUNG!! GET OUT!!! YOU CANNOT MAKE ME GIVE UP ON JUNHYUNG! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING! SO YOU JUST GET OUT AND STOP GETTING IN BETWEEN MY JUNHYUNG AND I!” She shoved me towards the door.

“Haneul ah~” I called out.

“Don’t ever, ever call my name, unless you’re my Junhyung.” She said, pushing me out of the door.

She locked the door, not allowing me in. I stood outside like a fool, listening to her throw a tantrum and break stuff in the bookstore.

Just a glimpse of memory, please. Just a glimpse would do. Just a glimpse and I would be able to convince myself I am worth her time. I like her, as in, I know she’s someone special, but how come I can’t remember her at all. The feeling is there, but that’s about all, everything else is just like a blank piece of paper; empty. It's so frustrating I am starting to hate myself.