Junhyung’s POV

“BEAST! In five minutes!” The PD shouted.

“Junhyung, you okay?” Doojoon asked.

“Hyung, my stomach feels weird.” I said.

“Huh? Are you okay? Do you need any medication? No. Why not we pull you out? You don’t look too well these days thou.” He said.

“No no no. I must go.” I said.

“But why? What is more important than your health?” He said.

“Hyung, I need to perform this song.” I said, excusing myself to the toilet.

This month’s period is a killer. It just has to attack me with pain whenever I need to work. I squat down, clutching onto my stomach, trying to ease the pain. I have to perform no matter what.

/FLASHBACK

“So, apart from your own songs, the request is to sing a song from another group for this Gayo Daejun.” Our manager told us.

“Another song?” Doojoon said, looking at us.

“How about something from a girls’ group?” Yoseob suggested.

“Or else, MBLAQ!” Kikwang said.

“We did that before. It’s no fun to repeat it.” Dongwoon said.

“The girls’ group one sounds good.” Hyunseung said.

“How about you, Junhyung?” Doojoon asked.

“Erm.. I was thinking.. Sunset Glow.. Big Bang..” I said.

“Sunset Glow?” They looked at me.

I nodded, thinking of the lyrics.

“I think it’s good too!” Doojoon smiled.

“Yea, it sounds good.” Hyunseung said, winking at me.

“Hyung, do you have any reasons for choosing that song?” Yoseob asked, sticking his smiley face at me.

“I just like the lyrics.” I said, pushing his face away.

“Well… Since Junnie Hyung is hardly willing to give any suggestions, I don’t see why we should turn his one down this time. Besides, it’s something new.” Dongwoon said.

“THEN SET! SUNSET GLOW IT WOULD BE!” Doojoon shouted.

“Thanks.” I mumbled, smiling.

/END OF FLASHBACK

“Hyung, you feeling okay?” Yoseob asked as I walked back into the waiting room.

“I’m good.” I smiled, putting my arm over his shoulders as we walked out.

“If you’re in pain, don’t hold it in.” He said, rubbing my stomach.

“Don’t do that. It’s weird!” I laughed.

“They say body heat can ease the pain!” He protested.

“Ya, but not here!” I ruffled his hair.

We stood in our positions as soon as we stepped onto stage. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the pain. As soon as the music started, I know there was no backing out. I cannot bring the group down. I chose this song, I have to perform it well.

We performed our own songs before we stopped to introduce ourselves.

“The next song we will be performing is not our own song.” Doojoon said.

“Yea. We hope you guys would like it. We hope that we would be able to touch even the haneul with our voices.” I said.

The boys looked at me while I just smiled.

Yes, I chose this song solely for my own purpose. Gayo Daejun is broadcast across the whole nation. Haneul ah, if you’re still in Korea, if you happen to see it, this song is for you. Even if you don’t understand, you can always google it.

“Big Bang sunbaenims’ Sunset Glow!” Yoseob shouted as the music started.

The fans cheered like crazy.

“So haneul! Listen well!” I shouted as I pointed to the ceiling.

Dear, do you know, I really miss you right now
I wipe off tears with my head down, I call your name
Did you really have to leave me like this

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you like crazy. How long has it been? One week? Two weeks? Actually, I lost count. Every day when I wake up, I look at my phone; I hope to at least receive a message from you. Where have you been? Are you well? I just want to know.

My head hurts when I think about you, (you’re) like really strong alcohol
Would it be just alcohol? You are a sickness. I lie down every day, how many times has it been?

You’re not alcohol, because hangover will fade away. You’re more like the glass bottle. You smashed yourself onto my head, leaving me to bleed. The blood never stopped flowing. You left me to be drained of my own blood. How cruel of you, Haneul.

I will forget for a bit tomorrow then I will think (of you) again day after tomorrow
What can I do, my love is still valid
I believe that you will come back, I wait for you only

I always tell myself to let go, to get over it. But I can’t. Something inside me holding me back, and that’s you. Your presence is still around me. Reminding me daily how happy I was with you around. How can I just forget it? How can I just let it go? That’s why I’ll wait, but I’m slowly fading away myself.

I love you, you are the only one in this world
I shout out loud but only that unanswerable sunset is burning bright

I screamed into your face that ‘I love you’, but you don’t seem to hear it. Why? Am I not loud enough? Are my words not clear enough? I told you that you’re the only one I have, but you refused to believe me. Why? Are my words not trustworthy enough? Your silence is so deafening, do you know?

If you are feeling sorry (or) afraid of seeing my face
Girl don’t worry, if it’s you, I feel strong
Your face that I miss looks like that sunset glow thus I feel sadder

Why are you hiding from me? Is it because you’re embarrassed? Or are you afraid that I would reject you? You know that I wouldn’t. Even if you came back ten years later and tell me you love me, you know I would open my arms and welcome you again. But that is if I manage to survive ten years without you. Not even a month and I feel as thou I am dying already. How long more will you torture me?

Oh baby baby please don’t forget about all of past times, memories we shared
I will run to you anytime if you call me silently with your eyes closed
Every day, every night I need you

The bookstore is so cold without you. Duckie is lonely too. Everything spells memories with you. How am I going to handle it all alone? Don’t you at least miss me too? Aren’t you curious as to whether I am alive or not? How could you bear to leave me here just like this? I told you to think about it, but I never knew you would take so long, neither did I know I would get so impatient.

I love you, you are the only one in this world
I shout out loud but only that unanswerable sunset is burning bright

What should I do to show you that I really, really love and need you? What do you want me to do? I’ll do anything just for you, you know it, don’t you? You’re exactly like your name; Haneul. Without the sky, this world would be so empty. Without you, my world is empty.

I won’t be able to see your beautiful visage anymore
But I have no regret, just burn bright so I can just gaze (at you)

Even if its rejection, at least let me know, so I can back away. Don’t keep me in the dark anymore, please. I’m getting scared as the days passed. I’m growing weaker. I don’t know how long more I can hold on. I’m losing myself. I’m going crazy. Just where the hell are you?

The sun rises, the sun sets, I become saddened by the sunset glow
The moon rises, the moon sets, I become dull too, as time passes by
The sun rises, the sun sets, I become saddened by the sunset glow
The moon rises, the moon sets, memories of you become dull too

I am afraid that I would lose memories of you, therefore I go to the bookstore every night despite the fact it hurts so much. I hold the Duckie in my hands every day, despite the fact I look like an insane man. I just don’t want to forget you. It’s not that I am not sincere, it’s just that what we have together was so little and fragile. I’m afraid that if I stop thinking, I would forget it totally.

I love you, you are the only one in this world
I shout out loud but only that unanswerable sunset is burning bright
I love you, you are the only one in this world
I shout out loud but only that unanswerable sunset is burning bright

Haneul, do I really have to break down before you can see my sincere heart? Stop hiding already. Come out and let me see your face, even if it’s just for one last time, let me see your face.

“Is the haneul touched!?” Hyunseung shouted.

“YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The fans shouted in response.

Really? Haneul, are you touched? Do you understand it?

“Junhyungie chose this song.” Doojoon smiled, looking at me.

“It’s just for you.” I said.

The fans went wild.

Yes, Haneul, I chose the song. It’s just for you.