Haneul’s POV

I was on my way to school when my phone rang. It was Junhyung. But why? I thought he left already.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey Darling.” He said softly.

“I thought you were supposed to be on the plane?” I asked.

“Yea. I mean, not yet. But soon.” He said.

“Ohhh~ What’s with your voice? Are you sick?” I asked.

“No. I’m very healthy. Maybe just a little tired.” He said.

“I see. Drink more water and rest well yea.” I said.

“I will. You too.” He said.

“So, what time is your flight?” I asked.

“Erm… In one hour.” He said.

“Hmm~ Where are you going again?” I asked.

“Japan.” He said.

“Ahh Japan. I want to go too.” I said.

“I’ll take you along next time.” He said.

“You promise huh!” I said.

And then there was a long silence between us. The only sound I hear was his steady breathing.

“Jun?” I called to make sure he was still there.

“Mmm~” He mumbled.

“Is everything okay? You’ve been acting weirdly and it’s scaring me.” I said.

“I…” He stuttered.

“You what? Please don’t start crying. You can tell me anything, you know.” I said.

“I know.” His voice shook.

“I know everything is tough, but it’ll pass.” I said.

“I love you so much.” His voice cracked.

“Jun ah~ Are you crying?” I asked.

I stopped walking and sat down on one of the benches, away from the crowd.

“Tell me what is wrong. I don’t want to keep guessing and thinking you’ll be okay because you’re not. You’ve been crying far too much lately.” I said.

“You’re the only one I can cry to.” He mumbled.

“I know. It’s fine to cry. I didn’t say you can’t cry. I am actually glad you cried in front of me and not by yourself. But I need to know what the cause of your tears is. I want to help you, be there for you. I need to know why.” I said.

He didn’t say anything but I could hear him sobbing.

“Do you know each time you cry, I cry too? It just hurts me so much.” I said.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“I don’t want to hear ‘I’m sorry’, because you did no wrong. I want to be able to help you and not just blank the moment your tears fall. I miss your smile.” I said.

He was trying to steady his breathing but it just got choppier as he cried harder. I kept quiet, listening to him sob across the phone.

“Where are you? Airport?” I asked.

“Huh? Oh.. Yea..” He mumbled.

“Your flight is in one hour, right? Wait for me. I’m coming.” I said, taking my bag.

“NO!! Don’t come!!” He shouted.

“What is it!?” I shouted in frustration.

“What is it that you’re hiding!? Why can’t I come and see you!? Why is it that you always keep me in the dark!? I want to know what is behind your tears, is it that difficult!? I am your girlfriend, right!?” I yelled at him.

He kept really quiet, but I could hear him choking on his tears.

“Alright. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to yell at you. Just that, I’m really worried, okay? I know it isn’t my style to actually be worried for someone, but damn, I’m really worried for you. Mind my language but I am ing worried for you.” I said.

“And I ing love you.” He mumbled, chuckling a little.

“Then ing tell me what is wrong.” I said.

“I think the problem is that I’ll ing miss you.” He said.

“You ing cry because you’ll miss me?” I asked.

“Of course. That’s like the biggest ing crisis that could ever happen to me.” He said.

“You’re so ing weird.” I said.

“And you’re ing cute.” He said.

“Stop with the language. How ugly.” I laughed.

“Sing me a ing song.” He said.

“You’re the ing singer.” I said.

“You have a ing beautiful voice.” He said.

“I said to stop with the language!” I laughed.

“I’m so ing sorry.” He laughed.

“Gosh~ You idiot.” I said.

“Come on, sing me a song.” He said.

“Sing what? No. I’m outside. It’s embarrassing.” I said.

“I’m going to cry.” He threatened.

“Go on. We’ll cry together.” I said.

He kept quiet and sniffed a little.

“Fine, I’ll sing you a damn song.” I mumbled in defeat.

“Yes! I won.” I heard him say softly.

“Stupid fellow.” I mumbled.

“Is it so difficult to sing your boyfriend a song?” He said.

“It’s not. But it is because I am in the public.” I said.

“So are you going to sing or do I have to cry?” He said.

“You’re really lucky I’m in a pretty good mood today.” I said.

“You’ll always be in a good mood for me.” He said confidently.

“HA!” I mocked him.

“What was that for!?” He said.

“What song!?” I yelled.

“Any song.” He said.

“Holding your hand in the warm sunshine. We sing Lalalala as we go on our sweet date. One spoon of sugar with your heart. And before I know it, my heart has become as big as a cloud.” I started singing.

He laughed really loudly.

“WHAT IS IT!?” I yelled at him.

“Nothing nothing. Just continue.” He chuckled.

“You’re like cotton candy, My heart melts. Just looking at your fluffy face makes me melt. What if I blow and you fly away, what if I touch you and you melt. I’m so disappointed when you disappear with the blink of an eye.”I continued.

He hummed softly as I sang.

“You’re like cotton candy, You melt on my lips. Should I fly away with you, our lips gently touching. You’re like cotton candy, my heart melts. Just looking at your fluffy face makes me melt. The tip of my nose is tingly tingly, because I like you. You’re like cotton candy.”I ended the song.

“I didn’t know I am like cotton candy to you.” He laughed.

“You’re not! You’re a huge rock! What cotton candy.” I said in frustration.

“Thank you, Darling.” He said.

“I got to go.” I said.

“So soon?” He sounded disappointed.

“I am already late for class.” I said.

“Haneul ah! Are you coming!?” One of my classmates yelled.

“Okay, I get it. Go on.” He said.

“Call me when you have the time.” I said.

“Haneul Darling, you know I love you, right?” He said.

“Really? You do?” I said.

“Come on~” He said.

“Ya ya~ I get it. You love me. You know I love you too, right?” I said.

“I really, really love you.” He said.

“Me too. Hey, I really got to hang up. I love you yea.” I kissed the phone before hanging up.

Junhyung’s POV

“My Darling~” I kissed the phone, despite knowing she already hung up.

I lied on the cold hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for the nurses and doctor to come for me. The wait is so long. If only Haneul was here to hug me, keep me warm. I secretly recorded the song she sang just now. I keep replaying it; her voice is the only comfort I have. I closed my eyes, picturing her singing self.

“YONG JUNHYUNG!!!” Someone yanked the earphones out of my ears and pulled me up.

“Doo.. Doo.. Doojoon Hyung..?” I mumbled in shock.

The rest of the boys stomped in, looking really angry.

“HOW CAN YOU KEEP SUCH A THING FROM US!? YOU LITTLE BRAT!” Doojoon Hyung swing his fist across my cheek.

I saw stars and then red.

“HYUNG STOP IT!!!” Yoseob shouted, hugging me, protecting me from another blow.

“How could you!! We are your brothers, your family! What did you promise me the other time!? How could you just leave a simple note and expect us to stay calm!? How!?” Doojoon Hyung yelled, tears staining his cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

“Junhyung! It’s really wrong of you!” Yoseob said, wiping the blood off my nose.

“But I didn’t want you guys to worry. I didn’t want you guys to try change my mind as well.” I said.

“Junhyung, why?” Hyunseung said, looking really disappointed.

“I want to be normal for her. I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

“But Hyung, what if you die? What if something bad happens to you? What are we going to tell her? How are we going to accept it? Have you thought for us?” Dongwoon said.\

He hit it right on. All along, I was selfish. I never thought for them, neither did I think for her. I only thought for myself and what I think she would want from me. I never seek anyone’s opinions. I never asked them if it was okay. Everything was just about myself.

“What are we going to do without you?” Doojoon Hyung said, throwing himself into my arms and sobbing like a baby.

“I’m sorry, Hyung.” I said, his back.

“Don’t do it. Junnie Hyung, please. Don’t do it.” Kikwang said.\

“Please, let me do it.” I said.

They all stared at me.

“Don’t you understand!? Don’t you see it!? You may die! You may lose everything! How is it worth it!? Did you fail your calculations!? I can count better than you!” Kikwang yelled.

He kicked the table, sending it flying against the wall. Dongwoon had to hug him to prevent him from breaking more stuff. It was rare that he loses his temper.

“I cannot bring myself to tell her the truth. Call me selfish or coward, but I am really, really scared.” I broke down.

“Then what if something happens? Have you thought of how shocked and helpless she would be?” Doojoon said, wiping the tears off my face.

“I don’t know! Hyung! I really don’t know! I just.. I just..” I couldn’t continue talking.

“Look here.” Hyunseung cupped my face.

“Do you really want it? No regrets? Even if something bad happens?” He asked.

I thought for awhile. Do I really want it? Or am I just waiting for someone to stop me? But still, I nodded.

“Okay. Then do it.” He said.

All of them turned to him in shock.

“What? Can we stop him? We can’t, right? Instead of throwing punches and making everyone cry, might as well let him do it.” He said.

“But Seungie Hyung!” Yoseob whined.

“But you’ll hold all the responsibility yourself. Blame no one for what happens after that. Do you get it?” Hyunseung said.

I nodded.

“Junnie! Please think over it!” Yoseob hugged me tightly.

“I’ll be fine.” I said, despite being unsure myself.

The next forty-five minutes was spent in silence. No one spoke, no one moved; everyone just stared into space, until the nurse came in.

“Mr Yong, can we go now?” She asked.

Everyone seemed to have snapped out of their thoughts suddenly. Yoseob looked like he was on the verge of tears as he shook his head at me. Dongwoon looked at me, trying to hold back his tears. Kikwang was angry but crying at the same time. Doojoon looked away. Hyunseung had no expression.

“Yes.” I said, closing my eyes, not wanting to see the disappointed looks on their faces.

“You better come back alive.” Doojoon said suddenly.

“I will.” I mumbled.

“I’ll not forgive you if you let anything happen to yourself, stupid reckless .” He said as he hugged me.

“I wouldn’t.” I smiled.

They took turns to hug me, except Kikwang who stood angrily at the corner.

“Not going to give your Hyung a hug?” I asked him, trying to hold back my tears.

“No. I’ll hug you when you come back.” He said angrily.

“Please?” I said.

“No.” He walked out of the room.

“He’s really upset.” Dongwoon said.

“I know. I’m sorry I let you guys find out in such a way.” I said.

I kept the smile on my face while being pushed to the operating theater. The moment they were out of sight, I asked the nurse to stop me at the corner for awhile and leave me alone. I let the tears I had been holding in flow. I silently apologized to each and every of them.

“Let me live, please.” I mumbled.

“Are you ready?” The doctor asked.

“I am.” I said.

“You can still change your mind. I really don’t want you to do this. In fact, no one wants you to risk your life.” He said.

“I’m doing it.” I said.

“I hope you don’t regret.” He said.

I felt a needle poke into my arm and in a matter of minutes, I out.

***

“Yoseob.” Hyunseung called out.

“Yes, Hyung?” Yoseob answered tiredly.

“Call Seungho Hyung.” He said.

“What?” Yoseob asked curiously.

Everyone turned to look at Hyunseung.

“I’m not letting Junhyung do such stupid stuff. He is crazy. The operation is obviously just risk taking. It’s like jumping off a cliff without any harness and not expecting to die.” Hyunseung said.

“Then why did you?” Doojoon said.

“Junhyung is a stubborn person. He’ll never listen. If you don’t let him do it, he’ll do it anyway. But he’ll lose hope. He doesn’t want it at all. He is scared, can’t you tell? If he is firm, he wouldn’t be crying, he wouldn’t be so moody. He just needs someone firm enough to stop him, and it’s not us.” Hyunseung said.

“Then who?” Kikwang asked.

“Seungho Hyung.” Hyunseung replied.

“Seungho Hyung? But what if Seungho Hyung comes now? It’s too late!” Dongwoon said.

“The operation is not for another hour. I spoke to the doctor just now.” Hyunseung said.

“Why did you do so much stuff without us knowing?” Doojoon said.

“You guys are just not observant enough.” Hyunseung said.

“I called him, Hyung. He told me he’ll come in awhile. He has to go somewhere.” Yoseob said.

“Now, we’ll wait.” Hyunseung mumbled.

***

Haneul’s POV

Throughout lesson, I kept thinking about Junhyung. Something about him was just weird. I was certain he was hiding something from me, I just don’t know what.

“Oh my god Haneul! It’s Yang Seungho!” My friend whispered to me.

“Mmm..” I replied for the sake of replying.

“What mm!? It’s Yang Seungho!” My friend yelled, shaking me.

“What?!” I looked at her in frustration.

She pointed to the door excitedly. The girls in my class were squealing while my eyes almost popped out of my socket. What the hell was Yang Seungho doing in my class!? Despite the screaming from his fans, his eyes were scanning around my class seriously. Our eyes met and he let out a small smile.

“Oh my god he’s coming our way!” My friend grabbed my hand tightly.

“Haneul ah! You need to come with me!” He said, shoving everything in my bag.

“You know him!?” My friend shouted.

Everyone in class was staring and squealing at us.

“What is it? I’m in class, you crazy.” I mumbled.

“It’s a matter of life and death. You need to come!” He said, grabbing me and dragging me along.

“Professor, I’m sorry, but I need to take her. I cannot explain it now, but I’ll explain it soon. I’m so sorry for being so rude.” Seungho bowed.

“Say sorry.” He whispered as he pushed my head down.

“Sor.. Sorry..” I said, not even knowing why I said it.

“Come, let’s go. No time.” He mumbled and dragged me out.

He shoved me into his car like some package and sped out of school despite the yelling from the security guards.

“What is it, Yang Seungho!?” I shouted in anger.

“Sit still. I’m going faster.” He said, stepping on the accelerator, sending the car flying at devil’s speed.

“TELL ME WHERE WE ARE GOING!!! AND WATCH OUT!!! WRONG LANE!!! !!!” I yelled at him.

“We’re going to the hospital.” He said calmly.

“Hospital!?” I felt cold suddenly.

“Yes. Hospital.” He said, eyes focusing on the road as he cut the cars that were in his way.

“But… But.. Why?” I asked.

“Junhyung.” He said.

“JUNHYUNG!? WHAT HAPPENED TO JUNHYUNG!? WHY IS HE IN THE HOSPITAL!?” I shouted.

“He’s being reckless and doing something really stupid. Only you can stop him.” He said.

“What reckless!? What stupid!? What are you all hiding from me! Tell me!” I dug my nails into his arm.

“Ouch ouch ouch!!!! You’ll know soon! Oh my god you’re tearing my skin!” He whined.

“TELL ME!!!” I yelled, tears spilling all over my face.

“I will let him explain it to you himself. But just know he is doing something really stupid and you have to stop him. You’re the only one who can.” He said.

I let go of him and sank back into the seat.

Junhyung, what the hell are you doing?