Story Information:

 

Title: Away from the shadows, destroyed by the light

 

Author(s): redocean-

 

Main Character(s): Zhang Yixing, OC (Byun Hyeonri)

 

Status: Chaptered, Ongoing

 

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Drama, School Life, Mystery

 

Description / Summary: Krystal was trapped in a glass box of excruciating gloom and writhing pain of being alone. With both of her frail legs chained by the daunting remorse of what she believed she did, Krystal was not able to hide from her haunting past – for each time she turned around, her own reflection would remind her of it – so she covered her eyes, not knowing that she was already too fond of the darkness and that she was afraid of the light. Kai wanted to break her free from the glass that had trapped her entire being. But, the light was so immensely blinding that he did not realize he was hurting himself in the process of saving her – he fell in love with her despite knowing it was his su [originally cut]

 

Reviewed by: CheyoCat

 

Date finished: 21 July 2015

Title:

I don’t usually like long titles, but I find it forgivable under this circumstance. “away from the shadows, destroyed by the light” Is a really interesting title and I like it a lot. Its great how the title has a lot of contrast and is somewhat ironic since usually light is what saves people, you know? It’s also great how the title doesn’t give the whole story away. There are /too/ many stories titled ‘Married To My Worst Enemy’ or ‘My Arranged Marriage To EXO’s Luhan’. When I see titles like those I kinda skip over them because I know what to expect. Your title gave an angsty feel which is good because psychological stories tend to be dark.

But if I were to criticize one thing, why is the entire title in lower case? Is there a reason for this? I’ve looked at your other stories and the titles are capitalized so I was wondering why it wasn’t the case for this fic. Titles should always be capitalized yo;

/Original

away from the shadows, destroyed by the light

/Edited

Away From The Shadows, Destroyed By The Light

 

Also, another effective way to write a title like this would be by incorporating brackets. I’m pretty sure you’ve seen titles like this before. Eg. ‘Come For the Early (Stay For the Late)’ – And since your title has contrast, you should take advantage of this;

Away From the Shadows (Destroyed By the Light)

I know that I’m always drawn to titles like these, so maybe it should be something to consider? This just my opinion, of course – so don’t feel inclined to do so.

Note: After finishing the fic, I wasn’t sure if the title actually had any relevance to the story (it did and didn’t, yno?)  – But it is beautiful nonetheless, so I find it forgivable. Anyway, great job on the title! : )

Appearance (Graphic/Poster):

The poster for the fic is really nice. It’s simple and I really like the way it’s been done. The colours, the textures used – it’s really pleasing to the eyes. There’s not really much I can say about the poster because it’s bloody fabulous, so I commend your graphics artist.

But I had a little trouble trying to read the title because instead of reading ‘away from the shadows…’ I read ‘away destroyed from the by the shadows light’ because when reading in the English language our eyes tend to read from left to right yno?  That’s really the only problem I had for the poster, everything else is perfect – ugh I really love your poster. And it works well with the background as well – your story is really aesthetically pleasing and it’s great!

Foreword/Description:

I /LIVE/ for angst and stories of this genre (although I only read ahaha). Your description and forward are so beautiful. I could actually feel the struggle that both Jongin and Krystal were going through and I really wanted to know what happened between them. Legit, the visual imagery is so good for your description, like I could /see/ the glass box. I am so in love with the introduction for your fic oh my god /showers with confetti/

BUT (there is always a but) for that one part towards the ending of the forward where it begins with ‘That was, however...” I wasn’t a big fan of how the text skips from side to side. I think it would have been better to have it all in the middle.

/Original

That was, however, only an illusion he tried to believe.

 Kai was holding onto Krystal …

                        … without knowing they

were already falling.

 

/Edited

That was, however, only an illusion he tried to believe.

Kai was holding onto Krystal …

… without knowing they

were already falling.

 

This way, it’s just a little easier to read and so that the reader’s eyes don’t jump from here to there and take away from the flow of the text.

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