S T O R Y    R E V I E W

TITLE:  Ludos

AUTHOR: nfhafiza

REVIEWER: Diviana

Title:  5 /5

It is a unique title. Once I read the meaning behind it, I was interested in your, nfhafiza and KatrinnaEll,  story. It’s simple and effective.

Graphic/Poster: 5 /5 

It fits the fanfic well. I like how it references events that happen later in the fanfic. I only have a tiny problem with the title being off-center but that is just a personal problem. I don’t understand why it would be off-center especially when it looks so much like a movie poster.

Foreword/Description: 14/15

The descriptions of Eros, Storge, and Ludos was very interesting. That was a great way to hook the audience. It made me curious how a relationship “that is played as game” works. I feel that having the line “If it is not obvious enough, they are starting to fall for each other, hard.” is a little redundant. If it is already implied strongly there is no reason to explicitly say it. I felt it interrupted the flow of your forward. The teasers also made me more excited about the work.

 Characterization: 8/10

Although Kai and Violet are well developed, no one else is. Kim is Violet’s best friend. I learn everything about her in the first chapter:

“If there’s one thing Kimberly is good at, it is academic.”

For a character that appears consistently throughout the fic that seems like too little development especially when she starts dating Luhan. We are told that Luhan has a crush on her and then they suddenly start dating. I would’ve at least wanted more of a reaction from Violet on this. The rest of EXO gets even less characterization. Everything about them is told in one-liners and they seem only to exist to fulfil that role. Chen only exists for hacking; Sehun for information gathering, etc.

I also have problems with Amy and Hyo Ri not being more round characters. Since there is very little