TITLE: Leaving Suburbia

AUTHOR: aggresively

MAIN CHARACTERS: Oh Sehun and OC.

GENRE: angst, romance, adventure

SYNOPSIS: Oh Sehun is racing against time : to save his father and escape from his past.

STATUS: Rated M (for violent & sensitive content), chaptered, completed.

REVIEWED BY: MisoCakes

 

 

 

 

TITLE.

Hey! Just to start off - I’m actually so sorry that this is so late ;A; - I’ve had a lot going on at school lately so yes, that’s a thing. Anyway, onto the review! I also read only up to ch.30!

Okidokey! On a side note, before I begin the actual review I’d just like to let you know that I work through the review as I go so I base things like the title, forward and etc without reading the actual story and do characterisation last. Just thought that I’d give you a heads up! :) 

Well, as a starter, I really like the title. It has this sort of mysterious feel that I enjoy. I guess that if I were browsing through the tags this would be a story that I would linger on - but I am not too sure if I would actually /click it/. But I guess I would since Sehun is in your tags and and I am complete Sehun trash AHAHAH. But if there was something I would mention, is that your title isn’t capitalised.

 

 

Original:

 

leaving suburbia

 

 

Edited:

 

Leaving Suburbia

 

 

It may not be a ‘big’ problem per say - but for someone who is picky (like me an many others on AFF) this would be considered a turn off; Bc in book titles titles are always capitalised yno?

 

 

 

 

APPEARANCE (GRAPHICS/POSTER).

Okay. The fact that the title is sprawled across Sehun’s face makes it a bit hard to read especially since some of the text is rubbed out. And the placing in general is a bit awkward? Like, there’s so much extra space between Sehun’s chin and the bottom of the poster that it looks really /empty/. I don’t really mind the sepia bc it just gives off a mysterious feel that does tie into the title - but it’s just the placement of the title and the font that kind of throws me off. So yeah, maybe change those things?? I am in no way bashing your graphic artist and this is all based on my personal opinion but I do have a few problems with this poster and from a graphic designer’s pov, this could use some tweaking.

 

 

 

 

DESCRIPTION AND FOREWORD.

Description: I actually really like your description! It’s simple and nice - pulls me in. I kinda think that that the whole “With this much to lose, there’s no way I’m turning back” isn’t really needed since the part above it is enough already; but this is just my opinion :))

Foreword: I really like the foreword too HAHA. I’m actually not one for the whole 1st person POV because it’s not really my thing and I prefer 3rd person like no tomorrow - but so far, the way you write is really enjoyable. It’s very conversational, which is great! I don’t really know what else to say here other than the fact that I liked it HAHAH. I also like how organised your A/N and all that stuff is - so yes, good job on that!

 

 

 

CHARACTERIZATION.

Hmm… Well even though this is Sehun’s POV, I couldn’t really get a proper feel of him. Like maybe it's just me, I couldn’t connect with him personally, I couldn’t empathise with him and he was a little ‘bland’(?). I don’t know, he talks about his experiences and all that stuff, but I still don’t see who Sehun really /IS/ in this fic and all I get is a troubled boy. But good god I am really liking the image of mechanic Sehun.

This kind of goes the same for Kyungsoo. He’s there, he int