STORY INFORMATION

 

Title: Give to Get

Author: kjunkkk

Main Character (s): Wonwoo & Mingyu

Status: Chaptered, on-going.

Genre: Horror, fantasy, slight angst, romance.

Description/Summary: Mingyu doesn't want to feed on the defenseless but sometimes there's no choice. His way of life isn't easy. He never asked for any of this.  Mingyu hated this and he hated himself. Wonwoo likes a simple and easy life. But sometimes you need to give to get.

Reviewed by: CheyoCat

Date finished: 22 September 2015

 

 

Title:

I like how your title isn’t the typical vampire fic title like ‘Blood rose’, ‘Blood red’ or something (cliché) along those lines.

I do get where you’re coming from with the whole ‘Give to Get’ and it is smart, but some other readers might just look over the title but at least your tags help since you put down ‘vampire’.

But besides all of that, the title is easy to remember – thank alliteration for that. I also like how you capitalized your title correctly as it’s a common mistake that’s made amongst writers. Good job yo!

 

Appearance (Graphic/Poster):

I like your poster, but I don’t /love/ it. I feel that it’s well executed and it definitely gives off that dark-vampire vibe which clearly is a theme that’s going on in your story. The colour change for the irises for the guy on top (don’t know which one he is, sorry I’m not familiar with 17) is really well done. I also like the expression on the face for the guy on the bottom. Although, I’m not a big fan of the font used for the title or the two sets of teeth on the right and left of the page.

This is probably me just being picky because I have a knack for graphic design, but I think that a cursive font for your title would have given the poster a different feel – and I don’t know, the teeth kind of irk me. But that’s just me, of course.

Despite those little things, the poster /is/ really well done and it communicates what genre your story is about which is the main point of a poster anyway
 

 

Foreword/Description:

Description: The Description you posted is nice, simple – which is really good because I’ve come across stories before where the descriptions alone are like 10 paragraphs long and after that I wasn’t bothered to read the story. So I think that having a short and sweet description like this is really nice.

However, there are many points in the description where you tend to change tenses from present to past. It’s better to stick to one tense when writing so yeah. For example;

 

Original:

Mingyu doesn't want to feed on the defenseless but sometimes there is no choice. His way of life isn't easy. He never asked for any of this. Mingyu hated this and he hated himself.

 Wonwoo likes a simple and easy life. But sometimes you need to give to get.

 

Edited:

Mingyu didn’t want to feed on the defenseless but sometimes there’s no choice. His way of life wasn’t easy. He never asked for any of this. Mingyu hated this and he hated himself. Wonwoo liked having a simple and easy life. But sometimes, you need to give to get.

So as you can see, I’ve edited your description to be all in past tense and it flows a lot better rather than there being two tenses present.

 

Forward: You have no forward present, except for a soundtrack. Although I think including a soundtrack is completely okay because sometimes it is nice to have something to listen to while reading and by having specific songs, readers know what feelings you’re trying to portray in the story, but – I really think that a foreward should have been included. Because this is the time where a little ‘teaser’ should take place so readers would know where they want to read or not, subscribe or not, yno?

 

 

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