Title: Starless

Author: turtlepanda22

Main Characters: Donghae & Eunhyuk.

Genre: Romance

Synopsis/Description: Donghae was lost, stuck in the quicksand that prevented him from taking the next step into his life. Hyukjae was a wanderer who traveled here and there just to be somewhere never really settling down in a place. They find what they were looking for in each other and in the stars.

Reviewed By: YunaBaeBae

 

 

Title

The title is okay but...the title ‘Starless’ does not capture my attention for some reason. The title, “Starless” is too common and simple. To capture readers’ attention, it is better to add in more objective or vocabulary. Here, I will list some title examples for you : Empty Stars, Without Stars, Empty Sky, Paper Stars, Lost Stars, Wandering Stars. Titles are very important to me. For poems and stories, I like it when the title adds something to the piece itself rather than labelling. Labelling is effective for essays and sometimes novels (to a lesser degree), but for short, creative pieces, I like to take advantage of that extra line to do something special to the piece. I’m fond of one-word titles that have multiple meanings (maybe as both a noun and verb, for example). I also like it when a poem is about something without ever telling you what it is, but then the title does.

Titles are fun tools, and I wish more writers used them to their full advantage. So many times it seems like a quick afterthought. If the title doesn’t seem perfect, I’m dissatisfied – including my own titles.

 

 

 

 

Appearance (Graphic/Poster):

The poster didn’t capture my attention though. For a reader like me, when searching for stories to read, I would usually look at the book cover or graphic first. Through your poster, I couldn’t tell WHO the characters in the story are. It is okay to have typography on books but since you are publishing the story online especially on a website that focuses on fan-fictions, it is better to put characters into the poster so that the readers have a good impression of your story. The background of the poster is really pretty. I like the beautiful blue-galaxy sky. I find it very attractive and appealing. The layout and the font of your story is neat and clean. Good job on the layout!

 

 

 

 

 

Foreword/Description:

I like how you put some tiny stars icons on the top of the description. It fits the description as well as it makes the description box looks neat and prepossessing. There are some minor mistakes in your description and I edited some of it.

Donghae was lost disoriented, stuck in the quicksand that prevented him from taking the next step into his life.
Hyukjae was a wanderer who traveled here and there around just to be somewhere, never really settling down in a place.
They find what they were looking for in each other and as well as in the stars.

 

 

 

 

 

Characterisation:

I really like the personality you gave to the characters. One character living in repentance and negative world and the other on a pure and positive world. Love between negative and positively can be a very miraculous love story. A man who is having conflicts in his life, trying to find answers and hope in life and an “angel” who helped the helpless man to its answers. But there is one similarity between them and that they were both searching for love. That way, both of the lovers could rely on one another without any doubts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grammar and Spelling:

You have made quite grammar and spelling mistakes but there is one time that I observed through from