STORY REVIEW

Title: Fatal

Author: nanasway

Reviewed by: GinaLy

Title: 3/5
The title doesn't really have anything to tie in with the major idea of the story, aside from the fact that Luhan had a fatal illness. If you meant that Ginni's love for him was fatal because she was hurt in the end, then the word 'fatal' isn't the appropriate word to use in that context.
 

Graphic: 5/5
Posters and background are very pretty. You had two posters, and both of them are beautiful. I personally prefer the one in the foreword.
 

Foreword and Description: 13/15
I don't really like how you just tell what Luhan is like from the start because it takes away the interesting factor that makes readers want to read and discover what kind of characters are inside your story. When I looked at the foreword, I can clearly get an idea of Luhan's character and that can disinterest your readers.

Furthermore, you used a semicolon improperly:

"...and when he does; it'll just break your heart."

Revise the sentence before the semicolon to make a better statement:

"Once he knew that you acknowledged his existence, he would get attached to you. Once this attachment formed, it would break your heart."
 

Characterization: 7/10
One thing that I did not like about Luhan's character was that he is unrealistic. Why? For once, after being shunned and treated badly by people, he still d