S T O R Y   R E V I E W

TITLE: I don't want you, I need you

AUTHOR: Christine_Lu

REVIEWER: Diviana

Title:  4 /5

The title is a little on the long side but it is interesting. You lost a point because titles need to be capitalized all the way through except when for articles in the middle. Your title should be capitalized I Don’t Want You; I Need You. Also the comma should be a semi-colon since they are both independent sentences.

Foreword/Description: 12/15

Your description is a bit confusing. The line: “What does Kris do when he sees Tao happy living the life he wanted to live?” seems disconnected from the previous sentences. Did they break up between those two sentences or did Kris go on a trip? It feels as if that sentence says that Kris or Tao left the relationship. Then, later Kris saw Tao after the separation. There should be a sentences that bridges that gap. It can be as simple as:

“Sick of the abuse, Tao leaves.”

Also the way it is written confuses the meaning. The phrase “happy living the life he wanted to live” is ambiguous. Did you intend it to be about how post-break up Tao is happy with Kris? If so, the sentence should be more like this:

“What does Kris do when he sees Tao [living happily without him]?”

There are also minor problems with your grammar but I will address this later.

Characterization: 10/10

For the first two chapters, I have a really good feel for Kris and Tao’s relationship. They honestly feel as if they were in an abusive relationship.

Grammar and Spelling: 20/30

Whe