STORY INFORMATION

 

Title: Hot Young Bloods

Author: fairiesjpg

Main characters: APINK.

Status: Chaptered, on-going.

Genre: Comedy and friendship.

Description/Summary: A story about a group of girls and their hilarious battle against high school and life... together. 

Reviewed by: B2utyful-Elf

Date finished: 3 March 2015.

 

 

STORY REVIEW

 

 

Title.

It’s a very intriguing title, so thumbs up for that! It seems to tell of adventure, and for me, I liked how being young and hot-blooded entails a bit of excitement. It’s not long and draggy; the length is just right, and it also doesn’t give away too much. Some titles are very obvious, for example: titles like “In Love with My Annoying Neighbor” or “Dating Mr. Popular.” These titles actually attract people who like those types of stories, but the downside is that you can already somehow predict how the story will go (the protagonist will definitely end up with her “annoying neighbor” or “Mr. Popular”). There’s no element of surprise, I think? Or, there’s nothing to try and find, because the title says it all. “Hot Young Bloods” makes you wonder what kind of tales the girls will have, or what kind of trouble they could get into; it makes you curious if the story has a bit of romance, or if it is solely about sisterhood of close friends. There’s a lot to be unveiled only when you get to read the story; so for me, the title was well done.

                           

 

Appearance (Graphic/Poster).

I actually liked how the girls looked in the poster. Since the story is entitled “Hot Young Bloods,” seeing the girls look “hot” and “young” suited the story very well. The fact that they were wearing school uniforms was perfect for the story; the background color used was okay, and the font style too. The background pattern was a nice touch. Overall, nothing seemed out of place.

It’s an alright poster, but not the best maybe? Because even though everything fitted the genre of the story, the poster didn’t convey anything about the story itself. For example: some posters for the angst genre are characterized by dark colors, and the faces of the characters are either angry or sad. For stories of a fluff/ comedy/crack genre, the colors are usually light like maybe yellow, or light blue, and of course, the characters in the poster are either goofy, or conniving, or whatever role they play in the story. Sometimes there will even be speech bubbles that describe the character’s personality: for example, one that says “Get away from me, I’m too rich for people like you.” You automatically get the idea that “Ah, this person’s a spoiled brat.” Some posters also include quotes that make you curious about the story.

Your poster didn’t do much to convey something about the story’s plot. The poster was ok, but maybe it could be better? How about adding more colors to make the poster look livelier? Adding a few quotes?  I’m not exactly a poster expert, but I hope my advice helps. It was still a good poster, though.

Also, I liked the character chart, by the way. The girls were really pretty close up, and I was happy that you put in their labels such as “Wild Child,” “Goofy Bumpkin,” and the rest. Nice job on that.

I noticed that you don’t have a background picture for your story, though. It’s not necessary, but it also improves appearance so I suggest you to try it out.

 

 

Foreword/description.

I found it funny how high school was still “bullsh*t” even with friends—nice touch. The message was clear, and it would spark curiosity as to what makes high school as bad as bullpoop. Again, like the title, it feels like an adventure is coming. It may not attract everyone though; in the end, it’s all up to the readers’ interest. But I think your description was okay. Not exactly the best, but it’s alright. Maybe it would have been better if a tiny sneak peak was involved, you know? For example:

“Boring disciplinary rules, Mr. Cho who probably hates all our guts, and cute boys ripe for the picking. High school? B*tch, please. This is going to be a breeze.”

From the example, you somehow get a little taste of what’s in the story; what the character finds boring, a teacher who she doesn’t like, and her taste in boys. You also pick up a bit of her personality: she might be bad since she cursed (I’m sorry for cussing, I couldn’t think of an alternative), and she could also be cocky, or overly-confident of herself by the way she thinks she can just breeze past high school.

But as I said earlier, your description was alright—you still have the chance to make it better, if you’d like.

I just didn’t like the fact that the first letter of every sentence wasn’t capitalized; that’s part of the writing, dear. Also, take a look at this:

“join this group of hot young bloods

and their stories of their spectacular now.”

 

If you noticed, the word “their” was used twice in the same sentence. That is what we call a redundancy. It’s better to write it this way: “Join this group of hot young bloods and the stories of their spectacular now.” By simply looking for a different word that still conveys the same meaning for your sentence, you can avoid redundancies.

 

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