STORY INFORMATION:
 

Title: Hush

Author(s): -inked & Inkless
 

Main Character(s): Kim Himchan & Choi Junhong
 

Status: Chaptered, Ongoing
 

Genre: Light angst, hints of mystery, healing
 

Description/Summary: Himchan meets a young boy who doesn't remember much of about his own life. A lanky boy with faded pink hair, who goes by the name of Junhong.
 

"Hush... I'm here for you. You'll be okay."

Before we start I just want to tell you how glad I am to be reading a BAP story!! Though I mainly read EXO, BAP is really up there with my favorite groups. There’s so few of them now that they hardly get recognized and it really really . Can you tell how passionate I am about this? I get super riled up over this stuff cries. Junhong is one of my forever biases, so...

Reviewed by: awkwardtofu211

Date finished: 29 July 2015

Title:
 

I’m going to be straight out honest with you - I thought your title was a reference to Miss A’s Hush at first because god knows so many aff authors use song titles for their own story titles. But thankfully, it wasn’t. I’m pretty sure this wasn’t even intentional on your part. But even so, be careful! Naming a title after a kpop song can come off as unoriginal and childish to some readers since a lot of amateur writers do it on aff. Do you know how many stories are called ‘Let Out The Beast’? Way too many. This isn’t meant to bash you or anything but it’s always good to keep this thought in mind!
 

So let’s move on to the actual title! To be honest, I’m a little torn. I’m not so sure if I like it and I’m not sure if I don’t. Askhgsjdjgf. The thing is, there’s really nothing wrong with one-word titles but to me, this seems a little… lackluster. It doesn’t spark an interest in me that I think it should have, plus, there’s actually quite a lot of other fics on aff who have this exact same title. It’s too simple for me to gather questions from; the only things I think in my mind are: Who is being hushed? and Why is this person being hushed? Really good titles are the ones that bring up a lot of questions from a reader. They’re the ones that make you think. This one didn’t really do that for me.
 

(But don’t get me wrong. I love your word choice. There are lots of other words you could’ve picked and I’m super glad you chose this one!)
 

Since you haven’t gotten to the main plot yet I’m not really sure what Hush has to do with your story besides it’s mention in the foreword. I really hope that you further expand on it and incorporate it more into your story as you move along. I think it’s a really great word that can hold a lot of meaning to it.
 

Appearance (Graphic/Poster):
 

I think you got a poster and background somewhere between the time I was reviewing and I really like it! It gives off an angsty vibe and pink-haired Junhong is just ughhhhh <3 The only thing I would critique is that the photos seem kind of blurry? Obviously this isn’t your fault, but you know graphic designers and their love for HQ. It might just be the PSD’s or the texture overlays (or maybe even my eyes tbh). The color scheme is a little weird as well - they don’t really match with each other. But again, not your fault.
 

But I quite like your background, it really sets the mood for the story. I LOVE GRAY BACKGROUNDS. SERIOUSLY. They’re so calming to the eye and they’re not so loud that I keep getting distracted. The only thing is that Junhong and Himchan are looking a little squashed down there. I guess the scaling went a little wrong for the designer. But other than that, I really like it. Thumbs up.
 

Foreword/Description:
 

I have a thing for short and sweet descriptions and yours was the perfect length for me. It really captivated me and made me ask a lot of internal questions like: Why does Junhong not remember his past? and What is Himchan have to do with anything? Plus I /really/ liked the ‘wanted’ sections, they were so unique to your story and definitely piqued my interest. Like, how did you even come up with that. You’re smart. I also like how you subtly added some visual character description so that we could have an idea about what they both looked like. And they both seem so badass.
 

So this has been pretty much all positive commentary so far. That’s because I reaaaaally like your foreword. Short and sweet has become the new fad now and it really is the way to go. I usually would critique the formatting of the beginning part (“Hush… I’m here for you… you’ll be okay”) but then I realized that it was actually easier for me to read. However, I would lightly suggest that you don’t bold and italicize almost all the words because it’s slightly distracting. If you wanted to emphasize something, try only one or two words instead of the whole thing so that we really know what’s important.  
 

Characterization:
 

Awwww. These two together are literally SO CUTE. I’m screaming. I know you said that they’re not really a couple unless you look from a certain angle but I /am/ looking at that certain angle and I am shipping it so hard. Seriously. They have to get together or I’ll cry. Begs you tbh.
 

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