Title: Smile to The World, Taehyung

Author: Rijouku

Main Characters: Kim Taehyung (BTS's V).

Genre: slice of life

Synopsis/Description: Taehyung is just seventeen years old student who wishes to be happy, but the road isn't that easy. Depression, anxiety and other problems that keep following him doesn't let him be. On top of that, the kid is secretly gay. If not his best friend Jiyeon, he would probably have no one. And like on purpose someone appears and decides to mess his life even more. Nothing stays the same and the troubles just come out from shadows, not letting him be.  But after so much unwanted drama what will happen?

Reviewed By: chae_eum

 

 

Title:

When I first read the title, angst instantly popped into my head. Normally titles like this suggest that the story could be somewhat heavy, so that was my first impression. I do suggest you capitalize ‘world’ in the title. A title should always be capitalized beside the particles which includes the, to, a..etc. After reading all the chapters so far, it’s still too early to judge the story based off the title.

 

 

 

Appearance (Graphic/Poster):

The appearance of the poster is really big- even for my wide laptop screen. I have to scroll down to see the entire poster which isn’t exactly all that pleasing in my eyes. The poster itself isn’t anything special, but more kind of thrown together? The reason I could tell was the lining of the words in the poster is off- you’d be able to tell if you look a little closer. I knew after looking at the poster that this story will have some angst in it, especially with the three different photos of Taehyung in it. If you would’ve just added a photo of any one of these scenes of Taehyung, I would’ve enjoyed it still.

In my opinion, a poster doesn’t have to be extravagant. Yes, they’re pleasing to the eye, but I believe it should be simple and tie to the story well.

 

 

 

Foreword/Description:

I read through your description and right off the back I’m able to see all the grammatical mistakes. I did read your author’s note, so I will correct as much as I can and give you a proper explanation- starting with the description.

 

Original

Taehyung is just seventeen years old student who wishes to be happy, but the road isn't that easy. Depression, anxiety and other problems that keep following him doesn't let him be. On top of that, the kid is secretly gay. If not his best friend Jiyeon, he would probably have no one. And like on purpose someone appears and decides to mess his life even more. Nothing stays the same and the troubles just come out from shadows, not letting him be.  But after so much unwanted drama what will happen? How he will face everything?

 

Edited

Taehyung is just a seventeen year old student trying to find happiness, but as we all know, the road is never that easy. Depression, anxiety and other problems keep following him and never lets him be. On top of that, he has a secret- Taehyung is hiding that he’s gay. And if it wasn’t for his best friend, Jiyeon, he’d probably have nobody.

As if on cue, someone appears and makes his life even more of a mess. Nothing stays the same and the troubles come from the shadows, not letting him be. Will he be able to face everything as is, or will he fall apart?

 

It’s just a basic correction of your description. I think some of your sentences should be either reworded or rearranged. I can understand the direction you were trying to take the description in, but I’ve tried to rearrange it a little bit better. I do find it unnecessary to add Taehyung and his character description on the bottom, because the story is revolving around him. I’d understand if you were adding other characters instead, but there’s no point in adding Taehyung’s. Let your story explain his character.

 

 

 

Characterization:

This is my personal opinion on the characterization of Taehyung. Just based off the two chapters that I’ve read, I can relate to him the most out of all characters that I’ve read about on this website. I’m not lying. A lot of writers or even reviewers will disagree with me, but I’ll give my reasoning. Depression is something that people talk about too lightly- yes, we all can get depressed at one point, but it’s not always somethin