tae-ologist asked: Can you write an EXTREMELY angst taengsic? Like murder my heart and feelings and everything angst? (I might regret this latter lol) thank you as always!! :)

0.o I don’t know if I can do that but I’ll do my best to murder your heart. ^^ That sounded weird. Lol.

 ~

Nimble fingers flew across the standard black keyboard to accomplish the task at hand. Its deadline was soon and the stress of doing well could be felt amongst the workers of the company. Taeyeon was no exception as she let out a drawn out sigh. Lifting her hands and arms above her head, she stretched and popped a few bones in the process. It was not an ideal position to have your body sitting in front of a computer for hours at a time. Her bloodshot eyes grew weary from staring at the monitor and a quick glance in the bottom corner of her screen told her she could now clock out. Clocking out meant she could go home and going home was both a blessing and a curse. At home, she’d be far away from work but it was also that same place where her weariness increased to its maximum potential.

~

The sudden disbandment of SNSD caused a huge uproar in the industry; both for the company and the fans. It was so sudden that even the members didn’t see it coming.

~

Taeyeon carried her heavy feet as she walked through the double doors of her house. Slowly slipping off her shoes, the brunette carelessly dumped her bag in the hallway. She proceeded to walk further into the house and found Seo JuHyun awaiting her return.

“Hey maknae,” she said gruffly before dropping face down onto the couch.

Seohyun politely smiled, “Rough day?”

All she received was grunt in reply.

“I see. Today was pretty uneventful for us too.”

Silence surrounded the two former members before Taeyeon turned around to look up at the younger woman. It had been what? Ten years? Ten years since their disbandment but maknae was still faithfully here with her.

~

“Unnie have you seen my…” Krystal paused mid-sentence when she walked into her sister’s room.

Jessica was currently sleeping in Taeyeon’s arms. Taeyeon pressed her finger against her own lips to signal to the younger Jung to keep quiet. Krystal smiled softly at the couple before slowly sneaking out of the room.  Once the door closed, Taeyeon tenderly kissed Jessica’s temple. The younger girl squirmed in her grasp and her eyes soon opened.

“Taengoo?”

Taeyeon smiled at the sleepy girl, “I’m sorry, did Soojung wake you?”

Jessica rubbed her face against Taeyeon’s neck and mumbled, “Mm. Yeah.”

The warm breath against her neck caused her pulse to race like it always did, “Mm, Sooyeon-ah. You’re triggering my spot.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Jessica teased and pressed a kiss on Taeyeon’s neck.

Taeyeon smirked, “No, but I thought you wanted to sleep?”        

“True, but there’s no harm in making out with my wife.”

Their hands met together and Taeyeon traced Jessica’s ring finger where a silver band rested, “Mm, wife. Have I told you how much I love you Mrs. Jung-Kim for marrying me?”

“Almost every day since we returned from the States,” Jessica snuggled into her wife.

Here they were, now married [secretly of course] while still being members of SNSD. They had kept their relationship under wraps and even distanced themselves from each other to deter fans from finding out. Even though keeping it a secret was difficult, they were glad that they still had each other.

Taeyeon tugged on Jessica’s hand, urging her to sit up, “About making out…”

“My wife is such a byuntae,” Jessica teased as she moved to straddle the shorter girl, bringing her hands to lace with Taeyeon’s.

“You love it,” Taeyeon winked as she stared up at Jessica.

Jessica stared into Taeyeon’s eyes and caressed her cheek, “I love you.”

She received a tender smile, “I love you too, jagiya.”

~

Taeyeon stared up at Seohyun who was patiently waiting for her to speak. It was always like this, well, most of the time. Taeyeon let out another sigh before sitting up and pinching the bridge of her nose. Things never got easy after the disbandment and the only thing that kept Taeyeon grounded was the silver band that she wore around her ring finger.

“So no incidences today?”

Seohyun shook her head, “No unnie. She felt like baking cookies today. I left some out on the counter for you.”

Taeyeon nodded as she processed the information, “Where is she now?”

“She’s in her room. Taking a nap.”

More silence enveloped the two and Seohyun watched as the former leader was battling to remain strong in front of her. She knew it was difficult. The other members would stop by but Seohyun was here almost every day for the past ten years. It became permanent once Seohyun earned her nursing degree. Taeyeon did everything she could but Seohyun knew she was burned out, for quite some time now.

Taeyeon looked around the room before pointedly looking at Seohyun, “How much do I owe you?”

“Unnie, you don’t need to pay me. If you insist, you can just pay me for gas.”

This was a neverending argument between the two and even though Seohyun tried to decline Taeyeon, they both knew that the older girl would be giving her an envelope full of cash right at the entrance.

“No, maknae. You won’t make a living off of that. I left your pay by the door.”

Seohyun let out a sigh as she watched Taeyeon move to get up, “Aren’t you going to say hi to Sica-unnie?”

Taeyeon scoffed, “No, not today. She’ll probably sleep until morning any way. You can take care of her by then.”

“But…she’s been looking for you.”

Taeyeon waved her hand in dismissal, “She won’t miss me.”

“She misses you. I know you still love her, unnie. Why don’t you show that to her?” Seohyun asked.

Anger grew within Taeyeon and she nearly threw her cellphone at the maknae, “I do. I do still love her but this isn’t easy, Seohyun.”

“I know unnie, I was just-”

“It’s not easy loving your wife when she doesn’t even remember she’s my wife over half of the time! I can’t…I just…the last time she came back to me…it didn’t last very long.”

Seohyun remained quiet as she remembered that time. Taeyeon had finally seemed to calm down only to pointedly look at Seohyun.

“How old is she?”

It was the same question she would ask every day when she got home.

Unfortunately, the answer was not always the same, “She’s twelve today.”

Taeyeon scoffed, “We haven’t even met yet.”

~

The cause of disbandment was due to the incident at the airport. Where Jessica was mistakenly taken down by security because of the crowd of fans. It was the way she landed on her head. She had out and when she woke again surrounded by her members Jessica Jung was never the same. Taeyeon wished dearly it were amnesia, at least that way they could build on making new memories together and possibly get her to fall in love with her again. But that wasn’t the case. How could you build on something when your fellow member, friend, wife, and love of your life, woke up with broken memories every single day.

Some days, Jessica didn’t know who she was. Some days, Jessica was a mere trainee. Some days, Jessica was mad at her because she was jealous of Tiffany. Some days, Jessica was a blushing mess around her.

Some days, and this was rare as it only happened twice since the incident, her Jessica was whole. The last occurrence lasted six days and it was the happiest moment Taeyeon had since the incident. On the seventh day was the most painful for Jessica woke up not knowing Taeyeon was her wife.

Most days, Taeyeon had an incomplete Jessica and that burned her out the most.

~

Okay, I think I’m failing at angst right now. Also, I don’t know if the jump between past and present made any sense. >.< Let me know what you think. :)

On a side note, this plot was inspired by a fic I read some time ago [but I happened to forget what fandom and what fic it was, sorry]