A wave of silence hit the leader’s bedroom. Taeyeon blankly stared at the brunette across from her. She possibly couldn’t be asking her for permission. What did their company even think of this?

"I mean, I just want to be with my family, Taengoo," Jessica placed a hand on Taeyeon’s arm.

She retracted from the touch as if she had been burned, “So you want to move out? Do you know the consequences that could happen? What does Sooman-ssi think about this?”

"I already got permission from him, Taengoo. I just wanted to let you know of my decision."

Taeyeon sat still as her mind thought of leaving Jeonju to pursue her dream. She thought of all nine of them struggling together to get to where they are now.

"Did you think about us? The girls? You moving out would break us apart.”

Jessica shook her head as she tried to reason out with the leader, “No, it wouldn’t. I mean, I don’t even live far so it won’t be that different.”

"You don’t live far…"

"Yeah, so it should be okay."

"Then you don’t have to move out if you live close, Sica. I live in Jeonju! Us being together, living under one roof, this brings us closer together."

Jessica blinked, “But it’s not like I can’t visit.”

"It’s not the same. If you do this, this will cause us to be distant from each other."

"Not if we don’t let it."

"You don’t even have to move out! It’ll be like you spitting on our dreams to make it in this business. We’re only complete when all nine of us are together."

"I just miss my family, Taengoo. They’re important too, you know."

Jessica moved out of the dorms by the end of the week leaving a rather hurt Taeyeon behind.

~

From that point on, Taeyeon couldn’t look at Jessica without that pang of pain hitting her.

"Taengoo~" Jessica called to her in a concert.

Taeyeon continued smiling and interacting with the crowd, completely ignoring Jessica’s presence. Shoulders slowly lowered in defeat. Jessica tried endlessly to reconnect with her once best friend. The leader casted a side glance at the blonde and shook her head at herself. Everything changed when she left, just like she predicted.

~

Sooyoung was the next to move out. Quickly followed by Hyoyeon, Yuri, Sunny, and Yoona. It was like a domino effect and it left a rather bitter taste in Taeyeon’s mouth. The close bonds they used to share was a distant past. Sure, they still performed well together but when they saw each other at practices, performances, or programs there was a layer of being uncomfortable with one another.

The leader’s eyes stared outside of her apartment that she shared with the only two members who didn’t move out. As for the other members…they no longer really knew each other. It was like being co-workers that solely worked together. The relationships they once had were broken from distance.

Taeyeon let out a sigh as she leaned against the window sill. She could feel it. SNSD would eventually break up and there was nothing she could do about it.

~

Okay I just got depressed writing this. OTL. But yeah, choosing between your family and your dream? If only we could have both. >.< Sometimes we do have that privilege.