Kiss the Ring and Bow Down

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kiss the ring and bow down
  

Baekhyun is a thief and his new target is no one else but the prince Chanyeol himself.    

 

 

reviewed by: star-lord

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOTE: Review only regards the first 9 chapters of the story. Please consult exoexoexolellel if this causes too much of an inconveniece for you. 

 

 

Title (4.5/5)
Interesting! I felt very intrigued by the title and wish to read on :) 
 
Graphics (4/5)
Great attempt on making the poster though I must say that it slightly lacked of the drama/historical kind of feel you were aiming for in this story. 
 
Description and Foreword: (7/10)
Description :

It’s very direct and clear what is your main aim of the story, which is to have Baekhyun target Prince Chanyeol. It would have been much better if you had added a little more description into your description box because readers might want to know more about the story before deciding whether they wish to read on.

Foreword : 

Its great to see you taking the extra mile to inform your readers on what are they should expect in the story, warning them about M-rated scenes so on and so for.

 

Story Layout: (4/5)
It’s okay but preferably not recommended because your words look tightly squeezed together and a little hard to read. The paragraphs are nicely divided even though there might be unnecessary spaces in between some of the paragraphs.

 

Plot: (25/30)
Honestly speaking, I was bored reading the first few chapters of the story. It started off too plainly, mainly about Baekhyun’s success of stealing gold and immediately jumping into the plan of targeting Prince Chanyeol. There should be a gradual process for them to reach a decision of targeting Prince Chanyeol as he is of a higher status from everyone else. Perhaps they were tired of robbing ordinary rich people and they decided to go for or even challenge to rob/target people that they might find more gold or just simply a experience for them. However, the process of Baekhyun being a squire to Prince Chanyeol was too fast because usually Princes are usually wary of the people they ‘hire’ because of their own safety and also the thought of people just using the chance to get closer to the royalties. The fighting scene was good enough to stall the readers but I suggest you should add in more commotion to strengthen the scene because you know, you are becoming a squire isn’t easy especially becoming one for a Prince. Few chapters had past by and I read that Chanyeol had somehow found out Baekhyun’s intention, which was to steal some gold and leave him eventually. I hadn’t expected Prince Chanyeol to blurt out something like that so I need some explanation on that because I got really puzzled. Or is it he already had the feeling that Baekhyun would be like one of the rest, stealing gold and leaving afterwards? Woah, and after that was a real shock. What exactly happen in between their relationship? (Not sure whether you are writing them being lovey-dovey and after which they break up?) I’m genuinely surprised by the fast progress between the both of them, there must be a spark that led them to become like this.

 

 
Characterization: (6/10)
As far as I know, Baekhyun is a thief, targeting Prince Chanyeol which clearly states what type of person he is. A greedy one and probably a too ambitious person for anything related to golds. However, for Prince Chanyeol, I wasn’t really sure about the character he was. The sudden skinship between him and Baekhyun was confusing, did he like Baekhyun secretly or was it his plan to lure Baekhyun in his trap? For Jongin and Sehun, I know that they are close friends with Baekhyun as they should be someone/somebody who is able to understand Baekhyun’s character if not it is hard to progress with the story because there would be a awkward tension in the story.
 
Content Description (6/10)
The contents provided is not enough for me to fully understand the chapter because it’s somehow written in bits and pieces, not in full form. You don’t scrutinize the picture well, often writing in the perspective of a big picture and what you see from the outside. There are some things on the inside that we fail to notice and probably you can bring those points out, letting the story to have a better flow.
 
Flow: (3.5/5)
The flow was alright, but sometimes I feel the story is stalling a little and I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy the story properly.
 
Grammar: (8/10)
In grammar wise, there weren’t many mistakes just a few minor ones. 
 
Taste of the Story: (7/10)
Since I haven’t read the whole story, (I’ll do so if you want me to) I think the story is developing well, just missing pieces of information here and there. When I read the story, I feel like the plot is being repeated too many times, doing a misdeed but falling in love in the end. Perhaps you would like to try something new (or you are already deciding on that direction, then good for you :3), like adding a twist into the story or having an unexpected ending, that would be pretty much entertaining and great for one to read.
 
 
 



TOTAL: (75/100)

 

 

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Comments

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NeverNinaa #1
Chapter 110: Hello there! I saw that your shop is accepting requests and I was wondering how can I drop a request? I'm sorry, i'm using my phone right now and i can't seem to catch the request form anywhere XD could you please guide me?
sweetcandy65 #2
I love reading your reviews in this archive because not only your reviews were interesting, it also helped me with my own mistakes! Thank goodness you made this archive ♡
JESLEN #3
Chapter 75: 5/5
Thank you for your content description. I never realized that car scene before lol. But thank you for that. You’re right about the thoughts and feelings by other characters should not be actually realized by the person’s POV. Guess I’m too immersed in the writing that I got carried away lol.
Im glad the flow is alright. Considering that it’s my first story (my practice 101), I wasn’t sure if my pacing was alright. I wasn’t exactly confident with the flashbacks being inserted like that but I’m happy you liked it (;
Grammar is not really my best asset, especially prepositions/conjunctions. I absolutely need to learn more. Thank you for your kind words despite.
Thank you very much for reviewing my story despite the rated scenes. I can never thank you enough for this very insightful review. Im glad you enjoyed the story despite everything. And once again, Im so sorry for the late pick up! I’ll credit now. Thank you once again and sorry for the loooonnnnnng comments :D
JESLEN #4
Chapter 75: 4/5
- gray eyes come from a thin layer of melanin on the front layer of the iris. The blue reflection of light is clouded over by the dark layer in front causing a dark gray color. (haha copied it from a med book lol)
-you’re right about her car injuries, I’ve only described her immense aches and pain after and the switching of faces, I’ve realized I focused too much on the switching that her injuries weren’t emphasized, thank you for emphasizing that
JESLEN #5
Chapter 75: 3/5
Your questions are gold! Thank you! I’ll keep them in mind while writing. Well to answer some of them:
-Changing face is actually possible, but would require lots of sessions. It’s from a theory and no, it isn’t practiced. *hint* from the latest story update, they changed faces, but would the outcome be the same? Would it be successful this time?*hint*hint
-what caused the amnesia---will be revealed later on haha
-whether joongki can take med degrees when he’s still young...ill try to check if I missed out a detail here  haha, I thought i made that info clear before, but apparently it’s doubtful
-whether joongki is thinking about her in the café, then she appeared…well, she’s been on his mind consistently ever since she disappeared and that day wasn’t an exemption.
-about shi hoo looking at her the same way? Let’s see what will happen 
JESLEN #6
Chapter 75: 2/5
For the layout, being consistent is so hard T__T but thank you for pointing the specific flaws. I’ll get to that and correct them. Thank you!

To be honest, I’ve never watched Good Doctor although I loved both Moon Chae Won and Joo Won. All I know is that the drama is all about doctors. Anyway, I’ve thought of a plot involving switching faces and how from that, a story will be created. I’ve added arrange marriage because to be honest, I have a feels for them (that is, before AFF was supersaturated with arrange-marriage fics). From there, Ive thought of making a second male lead as a friend helping the heroine with her struggle, but I’ve thought it too dull. I never really planned on making the doctor her love interest, but after some thoughts, why not? It would be a challenge to write. This is actually my first story and I never really thought about the number of chapters. I never really planned ahead during that time. I was full of daydreams and what ifs, that I became too excited to make it a reality, a story. Looking back, I realized how “short” my chapters are since 3-5 chapters actually happened in just a day. From there, I tried to learn how to balance scenes with my other stories. I knew how tiring it must be to read a long story T__T but since I started Imposter this way, I have to continue with what I have and improve the balancing of scenes till the end. I’ve thought of revamping after completing, and hopefully can publish it in the future 
JESLEN #7
Chapter 75: 1/5
oh my goodness. I didnt realize my review is up, but i saw it when I played a little with google search. Im so sorry for the late pick up!
Anyway for the title, I agree that some may not find it attractive enough, but for now, you're right that I should stick with it since the end is near. I will definitely think of a more mysterious title once I’ve completed and revamped the story. For the graphics, I’m glad someone pointed out the different symbolism it held. The graphic artist definitely understood what the story is all about. I couldn’t ask for more, and we’re the same! Aside from the beauty, I appreciate an artwork more if the artist can imbed hints and important symbolisms. I understand what you’re trying to point out with the trailers. Actually, I requested trailers when the story is only starting. I only gave brief description to the video artists, without giving them the little big reveals. The trailers are actually their interpretation with what little summary I gave them.
yeolsbubbletea #8
Chapter 77: Oh, and I'm interested about the details of my grammar mistakes. I wish to talk a bit more about it :)
yeolsbubbletea #9
Chapter 77: Thank you for the review and sorry for the late thank you :) It's a relieve that I can make characters and the plot well, but of course it's a disappointment that reviewer-nim didn't enjoy reading my story 'that much'. Based on your building critiques, I guess I have to learn more and develop a more well established story that can leave a very good taste of the story. It makes me reflect a lot on my own story and reminds me that I still have a lot to improve.
I hope everything will go well for this review shop. Have a nice day! :)
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