Blue Moonlight
LUST reviews >> archive > main shop accepting requests!Title (4/5)
The title is neither captivating nor lame. It was so mainstream that I'm afraid readers would find your story boring. Gaining readers depends on whether they find the plot is interesting or not.
Graphics (5/5)
I personally love the poster! Especially, the small gif in the center.
Description and Foreword: (6/10)
Uh, how to say... The way you introduced the story was short but clear, neat but plain. It sort of gave a little synopsis of what the story is about. But if you put some graphics or edit it a bit more classy or something, it will definitely look appealing. Why? Because people who judge looks without really reading the whole story will surely ignore yours. It actually didn't attract my first, seeing how plain and simple the description and foreword were.
And here'a another thing no one paid attention to, but I did. 'Blonde' is used for girls and 'blond' is suitable for both girls or guys. Maybe not many people know about this fact, but I suggest that you change that because foreword is the part of a story which helps the readers decide whether to read it or not.
Story Layout: (2/5)
The layout is so bare, the way you wrote the words were quite messy. I strongly advise you to change your font face, especially in the foreword.
Plot: (25/30)
I'm perfectly sure that there are quite a lot of stories which have this kind of plot. And honestly, I'm definitely not a fan of cheating fictions, especially when the cheating contains or aome other dirty stuffs. But your story just slapped me back to reality. It gave a really great lesson for girls to be more careful choosing their partners.
I'm perfectly sure that there are quite a lot of stories which have this kind of plot. And honestly, I'm definitely not a fan of cheating fictions, especially when the cheating contains or aome other dirty stuffs. But your story just slapped me back to reality. It gave a really great lesson for girls to be more careful choosing their partners.
Though it isn't that cliché, it didn't wow me so much. Sure there were twists and turns, but unfortunately, they were all very easy to guess and the ending, too, didn't satisfy me.
Characterization: (8/10)
Sooyoung is such an intruder here and I can't help but to hate her. And added by the fact that she was pregnant with Kris' child, makes me even hate her more. No matter how pitiful you made her, I still hate her. (Sorry can't help it)
Sooyoung is such an intruder here and I can't help but to hate her. And added by the fact that she was pregnant with Kris' child, makes me even hate her more. No matter how pitiful you made her, I still hate her. (Sorry can't help it)
As for Amber... I adore her so much here. I'm sure as hell it hurts like UGHHHHH! when your boyfriend, whom you haven't touched, is already touched by someone who is not you. Amber still smiles despite the situation she is in. She is indeed a strong woman. If I were her, I'd blow up and be a mad woman throwing tantrums to the innocents. Oh not to mention, Kris was such a jerk here.
Content Description (7/10)
I am actually not a krisber or sookris ahipper. It was kinda awkward for me to picture Amber and Kris being lovey dovey 'cause you know, Amber is so boyish in real life. But nevertheless, I interpreted the settings and scenes good enough, thanks to your easy-understood vocabularies.
I am actually not a krisber or sookris ahipper. It was kinda awkward for me to picture Amber and Kris being lovey dovey 'cause you know, Amber is so boyish in real life. But nevertheless, I interpreted the settings and scenes good enough, thanks to your easy-understood vocabularies.
Flow: (5/5)
The flow is fine because you made it a little more complicated, so the readers didn't find it boring. Since your story has just 20 chapters, it isn't considered as rushed one though it's like one.
The flow is fine because you made it a little more complicated, so the readers didn't find it boring. Since your story has just 20 chapters, it isn't considered as rushed one though it's like one.
Grammar: (6/10)
There weren't any major mistakes here, just some minor mistakes, like typos, some present and past tense problems. Aside from all of that, everything was okay, just need to improve your basic grammar forms and a little harder vocab.
There weren't any major mistakes here, just some minor mistakes, like typos, some present and past tense problems. Aside from all of that, everything was okay, just need to improve your basic grammar forms and a little harder vocab.
Taste of the Story: (7/10)
Your story literally gave me a life lesson about boys. I always thought boys were always loyal, though my boy friends are. Maybe because I thought they are, I thought the other boys were too. Let's move on. I was kinda disappointed at the ending. I craved for more fluff actually, I wanted more! :D
Your story literally gave me a life lesson about boys. I always thought boys were always loyal, though my boy friends are. Maybe because I thought they are, I thought the other boys were too. Let's move on. I was kinda disappointed at the ending. I craved for more fluff actually, I wanted more! :D
Keep writing and fighting! :D
And sorry for the long wait!
And sorry for the long wait!
TOTAL: (75/100)
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