Blue Moonlight

LUST reviews >> archive > main shop accepting requests!
 
 
 
LUST

Review shop since 29.06.14

 
 
1 2 3 4
 
 
 
 
blue moonlight
Sooyoung's presence brought tornado in KrisBer relationship.
 
REVIEWED BY: CHUBBYBAEK
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Title (4/5)
The title is neither captivating nor lame. It was so mainstream that I'm afraid readers would find your story boring. Gaining readers depends on whether they find the plot is interesting or not.
 
Graphics (5/5)
I personally love the poster! Especially, the small gif in the center.
 
Description and Foreword: (6/10)
Uh, how to say... The way you introduced the story was short but clear, neat but plain. It sort of gave a little synopsis of what the story is about. But if you put some graphics or edit it a bit more classy or something, it will definitely look appealing. Why? Because people who judge looks without really reading the whole story will surely ignore yours. It actually didn't attract my first, seeing how plain and simple the description and foreword were. 
 
And here'a another thing no one paid attention to, but I did. 'Blonde' is used for girls and 'blond' is suitable for both girls or guys. Maybe not many people know about this fact, but I suggest that you change that because foreword is the part of a story which helps the readers decide whether to read it or not.
 
Story Layout: (2/5)
The layout is so bare, the way you wrote the words were quite messy. I strongly advise you to change your font face, especially in the foreword.
 
Plot: (25/30)
I'm perfectly sure that there are quite a lot of stories which have this kind of plot. And honestly, I'm definitely not a fan of cheating fictions, especially when the cheating contains or aome other dirty stuffs. But your story just slapped me back to reality. It gave a really great lesson for girls to be more careful choosing their partners.

Though it isn't that cliché, it didn't wow me so much. Sure there were twists and turns, but unfortunately, they were all very easy to guess and the ending, too, didn't satisfy me.
 

Characterization: (8/10)
Sooyoung is such an intruder here and I can't help but to hate her. And added by the fact that she was pregnant with Kris' child, makes me even hate her more. No matter how pitiful you made her, I still hate her. (Sorry can't help it)

As for Amber... I adore her so much here. I'm sure as hell it hurts like UGHHHHH! when your boyfriend, whom you haven't touched, is already touched by someone who is not you. Amber still smiles despite the situation she is in. She is indeed a strong woman. If I were her, I'd blow up and be a mad woman throwing tantrums to the innocents. Oh not to mention, Kris was such a jerk here.
 

Content Description (7/10)
I am actually not a krisber or sookris ahipper. It was kinda awkward for me to picture Amber and Kris being lovey dovey 'cause you know, Amber is so boyish in real life. But nevertheless, I interpreted the settings and scenes good enough, thanks to your easy-understood vocabularies.
 
Flow: (5/5)
The flow is fine because you made it a little more complicated, so the readers didn't find it boring. Since your story has just 20 chapters, it isn't considered as rushed one though it's like one.
 
Grammar: (6/10)
There weren't any major mistakes here, just some minor mistakes, like typos, some present and past tense problems. Aside from all of that, everything was okay, just need to improve your basic grammar forms and a little harder vocab.
 
Taste of the Story: (7/10)
Your story literally gave me a life lesson about boys. I always thought boys were always loyal, though my boy friends are. Maybe because I thought they are, I thought the other boys were too. Let's move on. I was kinda disappointed at the ending. I craved for more fluff actually, I wanted more! :D
 
Keep writing and fighting! :D
And sorry for the long wait!
 


TOTAL: (75/100)

 

Thank you for requesting at LUST review shop.

 

 
 
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
NeverNinaa
#1
Chapter 110: Hello there! I saw that your shop is accepting requests and I was wondering how can I drop a request? I'm sorry, i'm using my phone right now and i can't seem to catch the request form anywhere XD could you please guide me?
sweetcandy65
#2
I love reading your reviews in this archive because not only your reviews were interesting, it also helped me with my own mistakes! Thank goodness you made this archive ♡
JESLEN #3
Chapter 75: 5/5
Thank you for your content description. I never realized that car scene before lol. But thank you for that. You’re right about the thoughts and feelings by other characters should not be actually realized by the person’s POV. Guess I’m too immersed in the writing that I got carried away lol.
Im glad the flow is alright. Considering that it’s my first story (my practice 101), I wasn’t sure if my pacing was alright. I wasn’t exactly confident with the flashbacks being inserted like that but I’m happy you liked it (;
Grammar is not really my best asset, especially prepositions/conjunctions. I absolutely need to learn more. Thank you for your kind words despite.
Thank you very much for reviewing my story despite the rated scenes. I can never thank you enough for this very insightful review. Im glad you enjoyed the story despite everything. And once again, Im so sorry for the late pick up! I’ll credit now. Thank you once again and sorry for the loooonnnnnng comments :D
JESLEN #4
Chapter 75: 4/5
- gray eyes come from a thin layer of melanin on the front layer of the iris. The blue reflection of light is clouded over by the dark layer in front causing a dark gray color. (haha copied it from a med book lol)
-you’re right about her car injuries, I’ve only described her immense aches and pain after and the switching of faces, I’ve realized I focused too much on the switching that her injuries weren’t emphasized, thank you for emphasizing that
JESLEN #5
Chapter 75: 3/5
Your questions are gold! Thank you! I’ll keep them in mind while writing. Well to answer some of them:
-Changing face is actually possible, but would require lots of sessions. It’s from a theory and no, it isn’t practiced. *hint* from the latest story update, they changed faces, but would the outcome be the same? Would it be successful this time?*hint*hint
-what caused the amnesia---will be revealed later on haha
-whether joongki can take med degrees when he’s still young...ill try to check if I missed out a detail here  haha, I thought i made that info clear before, but apparently it’s doubtful
-whether joongki is thinking about her in the café, then she appeared…well, she’s been on his mind consistently ever since she disappeared and that day wasn’t an exemption.
-about shi hoo looking at her the same way? Let’s see what will happen 
JESLEN #6
Chapter 75: 2/5
For the layout, being consistent is so hard T__T but thank you for pointing the specific flaws. I’ll get to that and correct them. Thank you!

To be honest, I’ve never watched Good Doctor although I loved both Moon Chae Won and Joo Won. All I know is that the drama is all about doctors. Anyway, I’ve thought of a plot involving switching faces and how from that, a story will be created. I’ve added arrange marriage because to be honest, I have a feels for them (that is, before AFF was supersaturated with arrange-marriage fics). From there, Ive thought of making a second male lead as a friend helping the heroine with her struggle, but I’ve thought it too dull. I never really planned on making the doctor her love interest, but after some thoughts, why not? It would be a challenge to write. This is actually my first story and I never really thought about the number of chapters. I never really planned ahead during that time. I was full of daydreams and what ifs, that I became too excited to make it a reality, a story. Looking back, I realized how “short” my chapters are since 3-5 chapters actually happened in just a day. From there, I tried to learn how to balance scenes with my other stories. I knew how tiring it must be to read a long story T__T but since I started Imposter this way, I have to continue with what I have and improve the balancing of scenes till the end. I’ve thought of revamping after completing, and hopefully can publish it in the future 
JESLEN #7
Chapter 75: 1/5
oh my goodness. I didnt realize my review is up, but i saw it when I played a little with google search. Im so sorry for the late pick up!
Anyway for the title, I agree that some may not find it attractive enough, but for now, you're right that I should stick with it since the end is near. I will definitely think of a more mysterious title once I’ve completed and revamped the story. For the graphics, I’m glad someone pointed out the different symbolism it held. The graphic artist definitely understood what the story is all about. I couldn’t ask for more, and we’re the same! Aside from the beauty, I appreciate an artwork more if the artist can imbed hints and important symbolisms. I understand what you’re trying to point out with the trailers. Actually, I requested trailers when the story is only starting. I only gave brief description to the video artists, without giving them the little big reveals. The trailers are actually their interpretation with what little summary I gave them.
yeolsbubbletea
#8
Chapter 77: Oh, and I'm interested about the details of my grammar mistakes. I wish to talk a bit more about it :)
yeolsbubbletea
#9
Chapter 77: Thank you for the review and sorry for the late thank you :) It's a relieve that I can make characters and the plot well, but of course it's a disappointment that reviewer-nim didn't enjoy reading my story 'that much'. Based on your building critiques, I guess I have to learn more and develop a more well established story that can leave a very good taste of the story. It makes me reflect a lot on my own story and reminds me that I still have a lot to improve.
I hope everything will go well for this review shop. Have a nice day! :)