the request.

AUTHOR » Emilieee

STORY status » Completed

type of request » Standard

chapters reviewed » 41

genres » Romance, Comedy, Slife of Life

description » After her parents' unexpected fatality in a car crash, Han Iseul lived her life in what ifs, putting extra cuation and care into every turn. To her, life was a fragile thing, and it was to be treated as such.

After his parents' unexpected fatality in a car crash, Byun Baekhyn lived in the moment - he didn't care about tomorrow, never took responsibility for his past actions. It was only now that mattered to him. He acted on impluse; regreat wasn't in his vocabulary. He didn't want it to be.

So when seeing Baekhyun, drunk, risk his life in a ridiculous dare of scaling the wall of a private property, Iseul wonders if she can detest someone more than this - someone who is throwing their life on the line for something so stupid, treating life like it's a joke. She has an immediate definition for him. Idiot.

And she doesn't plan on changing that definition.

...at least not willingly.

" No matter how people may belittle me, it can't be worse than me belittling myself."

" I've gained more strength and I've learned what it means to never give up. "


 

title (5)

appeal » 2/2

correlation » 2/2
CLARITY » 1/1

There's little for me to pick out regarding issues with the title, as your story revolves around the concept of conquering fear, and many of your events delve into its symbolisation. Your intent to focus the storyline on being fearless is clear, and engagingly embedded within the events of the fanfiction. 

    graphics (4.5)

APPEAL OF THE poster » 2/2

correlation to the story » 2/2
suitability of the vibe from the graphics » 1.5/2

I personally approve of the graphics, especially the mysterious glaze polished over the poster. It effectively captures the essence of how the leading characters of the story have their own background to hide from the surface. The use of orange complimentary to the navy blue really draws the readers' attention to the graphics, perhaps lulling them to linger on the poster for longer than necessary, like it did with me. The intricate designs in the background of the poster also serves to depict the various crossroads the storyline takes. To the text, I'm not sure why the title is repeated, in two different fonts, and I don't appeal to either of them. The white of the repeated title doesn't completely disappear in the bright hue of the background, but can be easily missed, and the same goes for the main heading, where the silvery-gray colour matches the rest of the poster, which may look pretty to the eye, but not if you're wanting that grab of attention of your readers. The title should be one of the focal points in the poster. Also, designers would usually patch your name on the poster to name the poster yours, and credit you as the author of the story, so your name should be up there. The chance is highly unlikely, especially since Fearless has been featured and you've got a lot of readers subscribed, but the occurence of someone else using your poster isn't entirely impossible. Just a heads up. 
 

PLOT (26)

APPEAL OF the base storyline » 10/10

the effect of events » 7/10
development of plot » 9/10
 

At a first glance, a storyline exploring how an individual recognises their ability to experience fear, and proceed to discover ways to overcome it all sounds like a great idea. This screams angst, conveniently suitable for readers who enjoy a good read of breaking down the conflicts we are confronted by in reality. And it includes romance? Even better. 

There are many features presented in the story that I quite like. Iseul and Baekhyun both losing their parents in a car crash is perhaps one of many distinctive aspects that make Fearless unique, and I like how you differ the reflections on these unfortunate events between Iseul and Baekhyun. The former, having endured the burden for a longer period than Baekhyun, doesn't delve frequently in the thought of her parents' absence, and doesn't offer much to the audience on the emotions she experiences whenever her parents cross her mind. Baekhyun, on the other hand, still has an extremely hard time coping with his loss, and the difference in reactions of the common situation is perhaps what pushes the two characters together. There are countless ways to narrate a romantic storyline, so I don't even want to think of the word cliche, but I find it comforting to observe Baekhyun and Iseul's progressive feelings for each other, and evenutally see them connect without the dramatic confessions. And in the end, they continue to be awkward around each other, which is definitely something different, considering that they have constantly been in each other's presence for what is now, I think, one and a half, or two years. There were many times in the story where Iseul and Baekhyun were so dense in their romantic ties, that I thought they were probably a lot better off as friends. But then that was just too sad and I told myself to shut up, and respect that this is one of those features that distinguishes Fearless from other fanfictions under the Romance genre. 

I was unsure whether I was to include the rewind and bonus chapters in a reviewing perspective, and I read them anyway; better to have unnecessarily reviewed them than to have not. I do think that the bonus chapters offer more than extra substance to the story, seeing as it does eventually solve Baekhyun's emotional and mental problems. From a mere readers' view, the rewind and bonus chapters are fine, however, to analyse their purpose, I am fairly disappointed. Upon finishing the last official chapter of your story, that is, "XXVIII Fearless", the audience is left unknown to whether Baekbeom wakes up from his coma. This question is indeed answered through the bonus chapters, but I was hoping to discover why Baekbeom was sent to the hospital in the first place. Up until now, unless I've missed it, and if I have I apologise and you can ignore me here, we still don't know what Baekbeom endured to fall unconscious and have Baekhyun worry for so long. Revealing that Baekbeom eventually does wake up, a continuation from the main chapters, through the bonus chapters, means that the five rewind excerpts in between serve no role in the story other than to allow your readers have a taste of the emotions Baekhyun experienced throughout the story. This is what let me down the most, because those five chapters were a repeat of the 28 main chapters, and frankly, I felt that you expressed Baekhyun's pain, frustration and grief plentiful through Iseul's perspective. I don't doubt that as an author, it must have been a thrilling ride to narrate through Baekhyun's eyes, but as a reader, I was definitely losing the adrenaline I had running through me as I flew by those 28 chapters. 

Nevertheless, Fearless has an exceptional balance of angst, romance, friendship and comedy interlaced through the plot. It doesn't seem like you're completely finished with the fanfiction just yet, and at this point I have no idea how you plan to end Fearless since all problems are finally solved (except the fact that Iseul and Baekhyun are so horribly nervous around each other, albeit it is still quite cute), and the bonus chapters seem to keep coming, dragging the story longer with anti-climatic events, so the score is a bit wonky here. 

flow (5)

suitability of the flow » 2/2

your control of the pace » 3/3
 

The pace of the story is quite suitable in relation to all the events that happened in the story. Grief does take years to overcome, and you've clearly showed this through Baekhyun's numerous attempts of greeting danger in the face. Through Iseul and Baekhyun's interaction, it took a long while for them to warm up to each other as friends, and develop their feelings for each other across the distribution of chapters. Even now, their relationship still progresses slowly, the couple doing small things like holding hands and a few hugs here and there. I would say the pace of Fearless is relatively slow, but that just allows the opportunity to narrate events and inferences more in depth, which you have used to your advantage a significant amount of times through Iseul's thoughts and feelings. 

    grammar (10)

punctuation » 2/2

spelling » 2/2
vocabulary » 2/2
syntax » 2/2
tense collisions » 2/2

There are little grammatical errors that I could pick up, which is an extremely good thing, perhaps courtesy to your beta-readers. The only thing I'd say here is that you mix up "breathe" with "breath", a typo that popped up quite a few times across your chapters. 

    taste of story (8)

personal enjoyment of plot and characters » 4/5
influence of flow and grammar » 3/4

length of your story » 1/1

Overall, I found Fearless to be an enjoyable read. I was intrigued to see your interpretation of confronting fear and how you'd be able to mould this portrayal into a story of your own. I was definitely not disappointed. As I've mentioned more than a few times in this review, the progression of Iseul and Baekhyun's romantic relationship is slow but timed, appropriate with the situations they encounter and their bashful personalities. In my personal taste, I thought of this as refreshing, having the two take their time in the relationship. Unfortunately, I am just about the most impatient person you'll ever meet, so that pace doesn't exactly match my expectations, more correlative to the fact that 36 chapters in and Iseul and Baekhyun are still cautious around each other. I don't think I was that happy with the sudden kiss scenes, because I found their appearances very contradictive to the slow pace of the general plot. I found it easier to read through Iseul and Baekhyun's shy and awkward moments, than to have them kissing frequently in the later bonus chapters, if you can make sense of what I'm trying to say.

Jongin is my bias of the group, so I was rooting for more chapters including him in it, as well as the other characters in which I was hardly let down. I think everything fit very nicely together, the interactions between Iseul and Baekhyun as a result of situations and issues efficiently driving the story into a thrilling ride. Best of luck with your other fanfictions!

total score (91.5)

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