{Silver Star by Pocpocpockii}

Story Title (4/5)

The title strikes me as intruging. If I was looking through a page of stories, your title would have attracted me to your story. However, I have come across countless stories where they've included "star" as their title and I feel as if it's been overused, therefore I did find your title to be a little dull. It's only five chapters in, so it isn't a major issue that I can't see any correlation between your story and the title. You have mentioned it in your description but it's vague and I don't know where to begin guessing.

Graphics (5/5)

The poster is definitely a shocker. My eyes couldn't stop straying back to it. It's very intricate and I don't know what colour I'm looking at but it definitely gives off the angsty vibe you should be looking for.

Description and Foreword (9/10)

I was thrown off by the font in your description. I don't like it, but that's just my personal preference. Reading your description really got me interested in the story and I could tell I was in for decent grammar, which made me really happy.Your character charts are really unique; the frequent full stops created a blowing atmosphere, like "here's information. bam! here's another piece of information. bam!" They were really engaging and effectively built up my curiousity.

{Story Plot}

Characterisation (17/20)

I really like how you made each character live a life that they don't really want, and that they crave for something else. I really liked how Jieun is Korea's little sister yet she didn't get what she wanted in her school years (Kris). The introductions are great, and it's too far early in the story to see any character development, albeit I know you will make everything come together beautifully. However because that part is missing, I can not give you full marks.

Originality (10/10)

I definitely have not read anything as close to your storyline. Many authors try to compose a story through numerous of characters' perspectives and it all just ends up in a mess. You have a talent, a talent to be very proud of.

Flow (5/5)

There was never a time where I stopped reading and thought, "Hang on, where did this come from?" Everything flowed smoothly and I didn't feel anything was rushed.

Conflict twists (7/10)

Again, it's too early in the story to actually see a solid conflict twist. I hope you do have something interesting planned. I will give you credit for joining up all four characters and weaving them into different situations, such as Kris who's a star, chasing a struggling Eunbyul, and the all-too-famous Jieun marrying sweet Chanyeol but craves another man.

Content Descriptiveness (10/10)

There was plenty of content description so this category is one big tick. It wasn't the boring type of description either, I could easily imagine the room you were describing; well done.

Grammar (13/15)

There's one major problem, and a few errors, but other than that your grammar is exceptional.

Most authors tend to have this flaw and it's the tag-verb agreement. If you put a tag-verb (he screamed, she said, they laughed) after a dialogue, you must put a comma before the ending quotation mark and put the first letter of the starting word in lower case. If you decide to place an action sentence after the character's speech, you have to put a period before the ending quotation mark and put the first letter of the starting word in upper case.

Quote: "I'm no one's little sister, ok?" She snapped and took another drag. 

Correction: "I'm no one's little sister, ok?" she snapped and took another drag.

Quote: "I've been good, I guess." Kris said. "I'm thinking about staying in Korea, permanently."

Correction: "I've been good, I guess," Kris said. "I'm thinking about staying in Korea, permanently."

Quote: "I'm glad you all could join us for this day," Chanyeol took her hand into his and lifted me up. "Ji Eun and I couldn't be happier."

Correction: "I'm glad you all could join us for this day." Chanyeol took her hand into his and lifted me up. "Ji Eun and I couldn't be happier."

Digits should only be used when stating the date/time, or some sort of code. You've done it correctly at other times, such as when Eun Byul was counting her money in the beginning at the story, but not when Kris was ordering his drink.

Quote: Kris called a waiter to his table and ordered a quick cup of coffee, 2 cremes and 2 sugars.

Correction: Kris called a waiter to his table and ordered a quick cup of coffee, two cremes and two sugars.

There are a few typographical errors throughout your chapters that are easy to pick up once you re-read your story again. If it's too tedious, get a beta-reader (and a decent one...) and you're all set.

Taste of the Story (10/10)

I really really liked enjoyed your story. Usually in reviews, I would be a little dismayed to see there's alot of chapters for me to get through. But after reading your five chapters, I was so absorbed into your story I was craving for more. I'm disappointed to see that you have put it on hiatus but as an author myself, it's totally understandable. I came across a story once where the author was very talented and created two fanfics that had amazing plotlines. It was nearing the end of her stories but she stopped because she had lost her motivation to write using kpop idols a long time ago, and I - among many of her readers - were greatly disappointed. I hope that won't happen to you, because I've also taken the time to read your other stories and you really have a knack at thinking and developing storylines. I do hope you go off hiatus soon.

Score: 90/100

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