Away from the Shadows, Destroyed by the Light
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away from the shadows, destroyed by the light
Krystal was trapped in a glass box of excruciating gloom and writhing pain of being alone. With both of her frail legs chained by the daunting remorse of what she believed she did, Krystal was not able to hide from her haunting past – for each time she turned around, her own reflection would remind her of it – so she covered her eyes, not knowing that she was already too fond of the darkness and that she was afraid of the light.
Kai wanted to break her free from the glass that had trapped her entire being. But, the light was so immensely blinding that he did not realize he was hurting himself in the process of saving her – he fell in love with her despite knowing it was his suicide.
reviewed by: exoexoexolellel
Title (4/5)
I apologise, but even if lower case looks far better than upper case, grammatically, your title should be edited to Away from the Shadows, Destroyed by the Light. I also like to use lower case for non-fanfiction purposes, and hey, half your title has lower-cased words anyway! I don't know about you, but I spot a win-win situation here :). Now, back to formal reviewing... Though your title is a little lengthy for eye aesthetics, I would say it can still attract attention. The sentence in itself screams out curiousity. However, in regards to correlation... the title is so-so, and it would make more sense when I explain it in Description and Foreword as well as Plot.
Graphics (2/5)
The clouds in the background symbolise the psychological confusion which is a strong component of the story (I hope they're clouds). The title is easy to see, and the picture of them two together show that, well, they're the main characters. The background to me is really important as it sets the vibe for readers as they read along, since it's in our peripheral vision, and I really did notice it while getting into that psychological plot. However, the loss of marks here is just the fact that the poster is really simple and I think adding other touches to it, such as objects that symbolise certain aspects to the story, would spice it all up.
Description and Foreword: (10/10)
The description is mindblowing. I was caught onto every word. I felt really driven to read this one-shot, with your use of falling and cliffs and feelings and glass boxes (ok I promise I'm not this lame in most reviews but obviously your story has gotten my mind muddled up as well as the fact that this story is so magnificent I can't just bloody put my praises into words so ya'll gonna have to bear with me for a bit). The description offered nothing but oh just the undying intrigue to taste Away from the Shadows, Destroyed by the Light.
I didn't really understand things like Kai holding for his dear life and Krystal's love but Krystal was falling due to her haunting past which made Kai fall as well (still don't, and I'll soon say why in Plot) but yeah I could really tell I was in for some deep psychological stuff.
Story Layout: (3/5)
I don't understand the story layout for this story. I'm confused by many aspects. It's easy to differentiate thoughts from occasional author inputs, and even though it's effective, I'd like to ask why you've irregularly placed dialogue and thoughts in between paragraphs. For example, early in the story, why is there staggered dialogue between Kai and Krystal on the topic of cheesiness? Also, with the thoughts aligned to the right, how is that different to keeping the thoughts aligned on the left with everything else? If this was cleared up, and had some meaning behind it, I could have promised full marks in the category since I know you make use of the sudden change in alignment, shown with Krystal's suffering upon seeing fire in reality.
Plot: (30/30)
The plot is definitely simple, as well appropriately complex. It's a beautiful storyline with two lovers fighting their mental issues. You've kept little facts that take place in reality, such as Kai's love for dance, and Sehun for his bubble tea. I'll let you know that you succeeded with the twist you put to the story - that is, "Kai not seeing Krystal for a month". I was definitely shocked to find out upon meeting Sulli (but then again, it's probably just me. There were so many clues and I kept thinking, "how the frick does Krystal not eat for a whole month... Probably chugging that bathroom water"). The only downside I will comment on, is maybe Kai and Krystal's love for each other is too good to be true (of course, putting aside the fact that their relationship is as perfectly imperfect as it can be)? I mean, mentioning that they have been together for four years, realistically, can a couple exchange cheesy words with such loving force, share skinship with all the intense feelings behind it, and have all the positive thoughts regarding their partner every minute of the day? Even if Kai made it his goal to relieve Krystal from her past by showering her with all his love, this is what has been bothering me throughout the story (only a teensy bit mind you).
And as promised twice earlier in this review, bottom line is: I don't quite understand the light-darkness concept. The darkness is clear to me, the salvation (ok so the word obviously isn't salvation but I'm looking for this other word that's perfect to express what I'm trying to say and it's so amazing that it disappeared from my mind, and I think it rhymes with salvation...) is what Krystal seeks for when running away from her haunting past, but what is the light? Reality? Kai-which-I-know-is-not-but-I'm-going-to-say-anyway-because-one-option-isn't-enough? That's what confused me the most, and when I went back to read your Foreword with hope that everything would clear up... words have never been so confusing!
Characterization: (10/10)
The introduction of all the characters are well planned and well timed, and of course the development of Kai and Krystal are on point. Well, Krystal didn't develop much... She revisited the past a lot and then left everything so technically there is no development for her character but that's not really the point. I would say that the traits of Kai mainly drove the story on, with his frequent torrent of thoughts. (Like in all the other categories) you did well in this category.
Content Description (10/10)
Even with the most common-based situations like Kai's depression, and Krystal's unhappy background of surviving a fire, the story was told in a very engaging manner. Prior to reading Away from the Shadows, Destroyed by the Light, I took a look at your Foreword and went "mhmm, intricate description coming up". I was anything but confused at what was happening in the scenes. I would say, based on this one-shot, description is one of your strongest points as an author.
Flow: (5/5)
All the events flowed smoothly, with the time span ranging from a few hours to the next day, to a month. I am running out of compliments.
All the events flowed smoothly, with the time span ranging from a few hours to the next day, to a month. I am running out of compliments.
Grammar: (10/10)
Your grammar is exceptional, and I only found a few mistakes (but not all there is) which are minor. Here is one:
Your grammar is exceptional, and I only found a few mistakes (but not all there is) which are minor. Here is one:
"Colliding to with each person he ran into, earning a few curses along the way."
Taste of the Story: (10/10)
I've always wanted to write psychological, but I just don't know how. Reading it can be very draining, so I actually never search for it if I'm specifically looking for a good read. I'd prefer to have a few months recovery in between each mindblowing plot. I am very glad that you put in your story to be reviewed, and I am even more glad that I reviewed this story, because this is such a great read that I think it made it into my top favourites. Such a simple storyline, yet told in such an exquisite manner.
I've always wanted to write psychological, but I just don't know how. Reading it can be very draining, so I actually never search for it if I'm specifically looking for a good read. I'd prefer to have a few months recovery in between each mindblowing plot. I am very glad that you put in your story to be reviewed, and I am even more glad that I reviewed this story, because this is such a great read that I think it made it into my top favourites. Such a simple storyline, yet told in such an exquisite manner.
And now, allow me to have a moment to let out my feelings extracted upon finishing Away from the Shadows, Destroyed by the Light (I have been holding it in for an hour to write this review):
WHAT. THE . HEWHAT. WHAT WAS THAT. WTF MAN. MY BRAIN OH MY BRAIN CELLS I KENNOT. NOPE. NOPITY NOPE.
TOTAL: (94/100)
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