Away from the Shadows, Destroyed by the Light

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away from the shadows, destroyed by the light

Krystal was trapped in a glass box of excruciating gloom and writhing pain of being alone. With both of her frail legs chained by the daunting remorse of what she believed she did, Krystal was not able to hide from her haunting past – for each time she turned around, her own reflection would remind her of it – so she covered her eyes, not knowing that she was already too fond of the darkness and that she was afraid of the light.

Kai wanted to break her free from the glass that had trapped her entire being. But, the light was so immensely blinding that he did not realize he was hurting himself in the process of saving her – he fell in love with her despite knowing it was his suicide. 

 

 

 

reviewed by: exoexoexolellel

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
Title (4/5)
I apologise, but even if lower case looks far better than upper case, grammatically, your title should be edited to Away from the Shadows, Destroyed by the Light. I also like to use lower case for non-fanfiction purposes, and hey, half your title has lower-cased words anyway! I don't know about you, but I spot a win-win situation here :). Now, back to formal reviewing... Though your title is a little lengthy for eye aesthetics, I would say it can still attract attention. The sentence in itself screams out curiousity. However, in regards to correlation... the title is so-so, and it would make more sense when I explain it in Description and Foreword as well as Plot.  
 
Graphics (2/5)
The clouds in the background symbolise the psychological confusion which is a strong component of the story (I hope they're clouds). The title is easy to see, and the picture of them two together show that, well, they're the main characters. The background to me is really important as it sets the vibe for readers as they read along, since it's in our peripheral vision, and I really did notice it while getting into that psychological plot. However, the loss of marks here is just the fact that the poster is really simple and I think adding other touches to it, such as objects that symbolise certain aspects to the story, would spice it all up.
 
Description and Foreword: (10/10)
The description is mindblowing. I was caught onto every word. I felt really driven to read this one-shot, with your use of falling and cliffs and feelings and glass boxes (ok I promise I'm not this lame in most reviews but obviously your story has gotten my mind muddled up as well as the fact that this story is so magnificent I can't just bloody put my praises into words so ya'll gonna have to bear with me for a bit). The description offered nothing but oh just the undying intrigue to taste Away from the Shadows, Destroyed by the Light.
I didn't really understand things like Kai holding for his dear life and Krystal's love but Krystal was falling due to her haunting past which made Kai fall as well (still don't, and I'll soon say why in Plot) but yeah I could really tell I was in for some deep psychological stuff. 
 
Story Layout: (3/5)
I don't understand the story layout for this story. I'm confused by many aspects. It's easy to differentiate thoughts from occasional author inputs, and even though it's effective, I'd like to ask why you've irregularly placed dialogue and thoughts in between paragraphs. For example, early in the story, why is there staggered dialogue between Kai and Krystal on the topic of cheesiness? Also, with the thoughts aligned to the right, how is that different to keeping the thoughts aligned on the left with everything else? If this was cleared up, and had some meaning behind it, I could have promised full marks in the category since I know you make use of the sudden change in alignment, shown with Krystal's suffering upon seeing fire in reality. 
 
Plot: (30/30)
The plot is definitely simple, as well appropriately complex. It's a beautiful storyline with two lovers fighting their mental issues. You've kept little facts that take place in reality, such as Kai's love for dance, and Sehun for his bubble tea. I'll let you know that you succeeded with the twist you put to the story - that is, "Kai not seeing Krystal for a month". I was definitely shocked to find out upon meeting Sulli (but then again, it's probably just me. There were so many clues and I kept thinking, "how the frick does Krystal not eat for a whole month... Probably chugging that bathroom water"). The only downside I will comment on, is maybe Kai and Krystal's love for each other is too good to be true (of course, putting aside the fact that their relationship is as perfectly imperfect as it can be)? I mean, mentioning that they have been together for four years, realistically, can a couple exchange cheesy words with such loving force, share skinship with all the intense feelings behind it, and have all the positive thoughts regarding their partner every minute of the day? Even if Kai made it his goal to relieve Krystal from her past by showering her with all his love, this is what has been bothering me throughout the story (only a teensy bit mind you). 
And as promised twice earlier in this review, bottom line is: I don't quite understand the light-darkness concept. The darkness is clear to me, the salvation (ok so the word obviously isn't salvation but I'm looking for this other word that's perfect to express what I'm trying to say and it's so amazing that it disappeared from my mind, and I think it rhymes with salvation...) is what Krystal seeks for when running away from her haunting past, but what is the light? Reality? Kai-which-I-know-is-not-but-I'm-going-to-say-anyway-because-one-option-isn't-enough? That's what confused me the most, and when I went back to read your Foreword with hope that everything would clear up... words have never been so confusing! 
 
Characterization: (10/10)
The introduction of all the characters are well planned and well timed, and of course the development of Kai and Krystal are on point. Well, Krystal didn't develop much... She revisited the past a lot and then left everything so technically there is no development for her character but that's not really the point. I would say that the traits of Kai mainly drove the story on, with his frequent torrent of thoughts. (Like in all the other categories) you did well in this category.

Content Description (10/10)
Even with the most common-based situations like Kai's depression, and Krystal's unhappy background of surviving a fire, the story was told in a very engaging manner. Prior to reading Away from the Shadows, Destroyed by the Light, I took a look at your Foreword and went "mhmm, intricate description coming up". I was anything but confused at what was happening in the scenes. I would say, based on this one-shot, description is one of your strongest points as an author.
 
Flow: (5/5)
All the events flowed smoothly, with the time span ranging from a few hours to the next day, to a month. I am running out of compliments.
 
Grammar: (10/10)
Your grammar is exceptional, and I only found a few mistakes (but not all there is) which are minor. Here is one:
 
"Colliding to with each person he ran into, earning a few curses along the way."
 
Taste of the Story: (10/10)
I've always wanted to write psychological, but I just don't know how. Reading it can be very draining, so I actually never search for it if I'm specifically looking for a good read. I'd prefer to have a few months recovery in between each mindblowing plot. I am very glad that you put in your story to be reviewed, and I am even more glad that I reviewed this story, because this is such a great read that I think it made it into my top favourites. Such a simple storyline, yet told in such an exquisite manner.
And now, allow me to have a moment to let out my feelings extracted upon finishing Away from the Shadows, Destroyed by the Light (I have been holding it in for an hour to write this review):
WHAT. THE . HEWHAT. WHAT WAS THAT. WTF MAN. MY BRAIN OH MY BRAIN CELLS I KENNOT. NOPE. NOPITY NOPE
 


TOTAL: (94/100)

 

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NeverNinaa
#1
Chapter 110: Hello there! I saw that your shop is accepting requests and I was wondering how can I drop a request? I'm sorry, i'm using my phone right now and i can't seem to catch the request form anywhere XD could you please guide me?
sweetcandy65
#2
I love reading your reviews in this archive because not only your reviews were interesting, it also helped me with my own mistakes! Thank goodness you made this archive ♡
JESLEN #3
Chapter 75: 5/5
Thank you for your content description. I never realized that car scene before lol. But thank you for that. You’re right about the thoughts and feelings by other characters should not be actually realized by the person’s POV. Guess I’m too immersed in the writing that I got carried away lol.
Im glad the flow is alright. Considering that it’s my first story (my practice 101), I wasn’t sure if my pacing was alright. I wasn’t exactly confident with the flashbacks being inserted like that but I’m happy you liked it (;
Grammar is not really my best asset, especially prepositions/conjunctions. I absolutely need to learn more. Thank you for your kind words despite.
Thank you very much for reviewing my story despite the rated scenes. I can never thank you enough for this very insightful review. Im glad you enjoyed the story despite everything. And once again, Im so sorry for the late pick up! I’ll credit now. Thank you once again and sorry for the loooonnnnnng comments :D
JESLEN #4
Chapter 75: 4/5
- gray eyes come from a thin layer of melanin on the front layer of the iris. The blue reflection of light is clouded over by the dark layer in front causing a dark gray color. (haha copied it from a med book lol)
-you’re right about her car injuries, I’ve only described her immense aches and pain after and the switching of faces, I’ve realized I focused too much on the switching that her injuries weren’t emphasized, thank you for emphasizing that
JESLEN #5
Chapter 75: 3/5
Your questions are gold! Thank you! I’ll keep them in mind while writing. Well to answer some of them:
-Changing face is actually possible, but would require lots of sessions. It’s from a theory and no, it isn’t practiced. *hint* from the latest story update, they changed faces, but would the outcome be the same? Would it be successful this time?*hint*hint
-what caused the amnesia---will be revealed later on haha
-whether joongki can take med degrees when he’s still young...ill try to check if I missed out a detail here  haha, I thought i made that info clear before, but apparently it’s doubtful
-whether joongki is thinking about her in the café, then she appeared…well, she’s been on his mind consistently ever since she disappeared and that day wasn’t an exemption.
-about shi hoo looking at her the same way? Let’s see what will happen 
JESLEN #6
Chapter 75: 2/5
For the layout, being consistent is so hard T__T but thank you for pointing the specific flaws. I’ll get to that and correct them. Thank you!

To be honest, I’ve never watched Good Doctor although I loved both Moon Chae Won and Joo Won. All I know is that the drama is all about doctors. Anyway, I’ve thought of a plot involving switching faces and how from that, a story will be created. I’ve added arrange marriage because to be honest, I have a feels for them (that is, before AFF was supersaturated with arrange-marriage fics). From there, Ive thought of making a second male lead as a friend helping the heroine with her struggle, but I’ve thought it too dull. I never really planned on making the doctor her love interest, but after some thoughts, why not? It would be a challenge to write. This is actually my first story and I never really thought about the number of chapters. I never really planned ahead during that time. I was full of daydreams and what ifs, that I became too excited to make it a reality, a story. Looking back, I realized how “short” my chapters are since 3-5 chapters actually happened in just a day. From there, I tried to learn how to balance scenes with my other stories. I knew how tiring it must be to read a long story T__T but since I started Imposter this way, I have to continue with what I have and improve the balancing of scenes till the end. I’ve thought of revamping after completing, and hopefully can publish it in the future 
JESLEN #7
Chapter 75: 1/5
oh my goodness. I didnt realize my review is up, but i saw it when I played a little with google search. Im so sorry for the late pick up!
Anyway for the title, I agree that some may not find it attractive enough, but for now, you're right that I should stick with it since the end is near. I will definitely think of a more mysterious title once I’ve completed and revamped the story. For the graphics, I’m glad someone pointed out the different symbolism it held. The graphic artist definitely understood what the story is all about. I couldn’t ask for more, and we’re the same! Aside from the beauty, I appreciate an artwork more if the artist can imbed hints and important symbolisms. I understand what you’re trying to point out with the trailers. Actually, I requested trailers when the story is only starting. I only gave brief description to the video artists, without giving them the little big reveals. The trailers are actually their interpretation with what little summary I gave them.
yeolsbubbletea
#8
Chapter 77: Oh, and I'm interested about the details of my grammar mistakes. I wish to talk a bit more about it :)
yeolsbubbletea
#9
Chapter 77: Thank you for the review and sorry for the late thank you :) It's a relieve that I can make characters and the plot well, but of course it's a disappointment that reviewer-nim didn't enjoy reading my story 'that much'. Based on your building critiques, I guess I have to learn more and develop a more well established story that can leave a very good taste of the story. It makes me reflect a lot on my own story and reminds me that I still have a lot to improve.
I hope everything will go well for this review shop. Have a nice day! :)