The Coffee-Maker and the Coffee-Lover
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Title (5/5)
The title is a bit lengthy, but nothing can really suit this story more. It is quite self-explanatory and pinpoints the idea of the fanfiction.
Graphics (1/5)
The collages are aesthetically nice, but it's always good to grab a poster and background from a graphic shop to label the story yours. Posters can also be very efficient as some readers like to remember a story by their graphics. Contradicting your title, the graphic placed onto the main foreword only displays Xiumin, however, Emma is also a main character in the plot, and her significance is represented in her half of the title. Just a few pointers, though I would imagine finding the gifs and images for each chapter would have been enjoyable and relaxing ;).
You've asked me on the request form (a long time ago) that you preferred for the graphics or any criteria related to it excused since this is your first novel, so don't worry too much on this category. Authors shouldn't usually worry about this at all unless they designed their own graphics. It's just a few pointers, though the poster and background is pretty much in charge of all the aesthetic attractions of a fanfiction, so such significance should not be ignored.
Description and Foreword: (9/10)
The Description captures the readers' attention. It gives a perfect insight to the story, and the use of punctuation and paragraph division are very effective in controlling the reading pace. Below is a bit of grammar correction, emboldened and in a darker grey:
Two perfect strangers.
Just a barista and a customer.
Whom decide to take the risk and go out of the usual routine.
Just a barista and a customer.
Whom decide to take the risk and go out of the usual routine.
Just one special move.
One move that showcases courage.
That can create a spark of interest between them.
One move that showcases courage.
That can create a spark of interest between them.
Even if, at first, they are strangers that meet inside the coffee shop.
What's currently in the Foreword, belongs to the Foreword, so a very well done in keeping things where they should be.
Story Layout: (4/5)
The story layout is very neat, and it's excellent to see you use the indents. Indents are particularly used in published books. Divisions between paragraphs are not too wide, not too narrow, and the font style and sizes are kept constant. The only thing I would point out, is the perspectives you as the author choose to use when telling readers the story. Books are typically kept in one perspective unless changed through a big break between paragraphs, or chapters. Point of views are usually kept throughout. In The Coffee-Maker and the Coffee-Lover, readers are reading constantly through both Xiumin and Emma's perspective. For example, the chapter would open up in Emma's point of view, but along the way Xiumin's thoughts and feelings are revealed.
Plot: (30/30)
The plot is quite simple, and it's one of those stories of a relationship forming centered around a particular object or location. In this case, it would be coffee and a coffee shop. Your story would be perfect for a reader mainly looking for a relationship read, specifically one that starts from scratch. Throughout the story you offer events other than the usual coffee location for the characters to meet, and you top that with Emma's past to avoid the story being a boring ride with just Emma buying coffee for Xiumin, exchanging one touch, one smile, and other small things, which is really good. Xiumin stirring up 'special drinks' really drive the spark between the two and reading the comments your readers have left for you, I think most of them would agree with me on this. You've definitely turned The Coffee-Maker and the Coffee-lover into a very enjoyable read despite it based on a very simple and easy storyline.
Characterization: (10/10)
The characters are simply introduced and developed, and nothing sent me wondering about the forming of your characters. Xiumin's mellow and understanding approach matches extremely well with Emma's observant and shy form.
Content Description (10/10)
You explain the scenes and character's physical and emotional state efficiently to the point where readers can understand how the story is going easily.
Flow: (5/5)
The flow is quite slow but very steady and easy for the readers to follow through. The chapters are gently set out as details are described; a very well done.
The flow is quite slow but very steady and easy for the readers to follow through. The chapters are gently set out as details are described; a very well done.
Grammar: (10/10)
The grammar is top notch, I don't think I found any mistakes. This is very impressive seeing that English isn't your first language. Just to improve your vocabulary, I suggest trying to expand and use more sophisticated words. The best way would to be incorporate them into your writing, so you can understand the definition better and are able to use them when telling a story. See where that leads you.
The grammar is top notch, I don't think I found any mistakes. This is very impressive seeing that English isn't your first language. Just to improve your vocabulary, I suggest trying to expand and use more sophisticated words. The best way would to be incorporate them into your writing, so you can understand the definition better and are able to use them when telling a story. See where that leads you.
Taste of the Story: (9/10)
The Coffee-Maker and the Coffee-Lover was a very laid-back read for me, and I'm sure it was too for your readers. I like how everything is neatly combined to produce a special story starring EXO's one and only Xiumin. I will have to say that I'm not all about the fluff side so I did cringe a few times, and I'm sure it's just me and my crave for angsty reads. I actually read this fanfiction a long time ago, I think we can say months now, so I apologise for this delayed review, but I remember during my read, I didn't have time to finish it in one night. My parents don't let me latch onto caffeine that much since they think I'm still too young to be addicted so I always grab a cup of mocha when I can, and I've never tried a latte before, but upon finishing school and having read 3/4 of The Coffee-Maker and the Coffee-Lover one Monday, I went straight to a cafe and ordered a cup of latte because I was quite driven into your story and badly craved for a cup. Did I enjoy my first cup of latte, I will have to say no but I'm sure all coffee-drinkers can agree with me on the fact that some cafes make the coffee just right, while others...
The Coffee-Maker and the Coffee-Lover was a very laid-back read for me, and I'm sure it was too for your readers. I like how everything is neatly combined to produce a special story starring EXO's one and only Xiumin. I will have to say that I'm not all about the fluff side so I did cringe a few times, and I'm sure it's just me and my crave for angsty reads. I actually read this fanfiction a long time ago, I think we can say months now, so I apologise for this delayed review, but I remember during my read, I didn't have time to finish it in one night. My parents don't let me latch onto caffeine that much since they think I'm still too young to be addicted so I always grab a cup of mocha when I can, and I've never tried a latte before, but upon finishing school and having read 3/4 of The Coffee-Maker and the Coffee-Lover one Monday, I went straight to a cafe and ordered a cup of latte because I was quite driven into your story and badly craved for a cup. Did I enjoy my first cup of latte, I will have to say no but I'm sure all coffee-drinkers can agree with me on the fact that some cafes make the coffee just right, while others...
I had a large cup of green tea latte six hours ago, and I'm confident that I would not be drinking lattes today if it weren't for your fanfiction, so thank you very much for requesting your story in for a review, and best of luck with future writings :).
TOTAL: (93/100)
Thank you for requesting at LUST review shop.
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