Claimed by the Past

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Title (3/5)
I do not fa
 
 
LUST

Review shop since 06.29.14

 
 
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claimed by the past
 
Kris and Reina came together under strange circumstances. But they fell in love and from that love came their twins, Ari and Sena. Ari and Sena are similar yet different in so many ways. What happens when someone from Reina's past comes to claim the twins with the intention of forging a different, darker path for them? What happens when the twins must choose between each other and more power? 
"I'm not like you, Sena. I'm not good, I'm not pure. I'm a nogitsune." 
 
 
Reviewed by: chubbybaek

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title (4/5)
The title is cool and matches with the prequel. I don't exactly understand what is claimed by the past, so it kinda catches readers' eyes.
 
Graphics (5/5)
I LOVE THE POSTERS LIKE REALLY. It gives a thrilling feeling, you know. Like I'm watching Breaking Dawn part 3.
 
Description and Foreword: (9/10)
The description you wrote is simple, but it is still understandable and full of information. You even stated clearly what the main point of the story is about, which definitely gains some interest from readers.
 
Story Layout: (5/5)
Everything is well organized. The layout you chose is great and suits the story well. But I strongly recommend you change the description's font because it looks too plain.
 
Plot: (30/30)
I've never read any stories which is like yours. Your idea is very unique and creative. You have a really wide imagination. How could you even think about all the super powers? I envy your brain, your wildest dreams, and your imagination. So wild. I must say that Claimed By the Past will be better than Claimed By An Alpha. Why? The prequel has nothing thrilling, unlike this one. The prequel mainly discuss about random things that didn't really suit the story. I'm glad that you could actually come up with this idea! Great one!
 
Characterization: (8/10)
I love Sena and Ari's brother-sister relationship here. Ari is quite over protective of his twin sister, huh. But Ari disappoints me a bit. Why did you make him a pure devil with women? I thought he was going to be pure and innocent. Lol. To be honest, you put so many characters here and I have a trouble of memorizing them. 
 
As for Mark and Jackson, I don't really know them yet since you have just started the story. Kris and Reina are looking cute, aye!

Content Description (10/10)
The way you write story actually gives us a strong view of what the story will look like if it is real. It doesn't give any trouble to us interpreting the scenes and settings, especially the fighting scene.
 
Flow: (5/5)
The flow is perfect. It isn't rush or slow. Sena already having chemistry with Mark totally fits the timing. Like I've said, you just have 8 or 9 chapters so I hope you're not rushing it.
 
Grammar: (10/10)
You write like an expert. No mistakes are found so far, even the punctuation is all correct. Keep it up!
 
Taste of the Story: (9/10)
I hope this may be the best supernatural fiction I've ever read. Claimed By The Past is clearly not cliché. It is awesome, full of mystery and anticipation. And not to mention, so creative! It feels like Breaking Dawn part.3 is really coming.
 
Hello! Sorry for the long wait, I just finished my exams, so things got busy. But anyway, here's your review. Sorry if I sound too harsh or anything. You're a really good author, ya know that? If Claimed By thr Past is finished, publish it as a book. People will surely buy it. Including me! :D
 
 
 


TOTAL: (95/100)

 

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Comments

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NeverNinaa
#1
Chapter 110: Hello there! I saw that your shop is accepting requests and I was wondering how can I drop a request? I'm sorry, i'm using my phone right now and i can't seem to catch the request form anywhere XD could you please guide me?
sweetcandy65
#2
I love reading your reviews in this archive because not only your reviews were interesting, it also helped me with my own mistakes! Thank goodness you made this archive ♡
JESLEN #3
Chapter 75: 5/5
Thank you for your content description. I never realized that car scene before lol. But thank you for that. You’re right about the thoughts and feelings by other characters should not be actually realized by the person’s POV. Guess I’m too immersed in the writing that I got carried away lol.
Im glad the flow is alright. Considering that it’s my first story (my practice 101), I wasn’t sure if my pacing was alright. I wasn’t exactly confident with the flashbacks being inserted like that but I’m happy you liked it (;
Grammar is not really my best asset, especially prepositions/conjunctions. I absolutely need to learn more. Thank you for your kind words despite.
Thank you very much for reviewing my story despite the rated scenes. I can never thank you enough for this very insightful review. Im glad you enjoyed the story despite everything. And once again, Im so sorry for the late pick up! I’ll credit now. Thank you once again and sorry for the loooonnnnnng comments :D
JESLEN #4
Chapter 75: 4/5
- gray eyes come from a thin layer of melanin on the front layer of the iris. The blue reflection of light is clouded over by the dark layer in front causing a dark gray color. (haha copied it from a med book lol)
-you’re right about her car injuries, I’ve only described her immense aches and pain after and the switching of faces, I’ve realized I focused too much on the switching that her injuries weren’t emphasized, thank you for emphasizing that
JESLEN #5
Chapter 75: 3/5
Your questions are gold! Thank you! I’ll keep them in mind while writing. Well to answer some of them:
-Changing face is actually possible, but would require lots of sessions. It’s from a theory and no, it isn’t practiced. *hint* from the latest story update, they changed faces, but would the outcome be the same? Would it be successful this time?*hint*hint
-what caused the amnesia---will be revealed later on haha
-whether joongki can take med degrees when he’s still young...ill try to check if I missed out a detail here  haha, I thought i made that info clear before, but apparently it’s doubtful
-whether joongki is thinking about her in the café, then she appeared…well, she’s been on his mind consistently ever since she disappeared and that day wasn’t an exemption.
-about shi hoo looking at her the same way? Let’s see what will happen 
JESLEN #6
Chapter 75: 2/5
For the layout, being consistent is so hard T__T but thank you for pointing the specific flaws. I’ll get to that and correct them. Thank you!

To be honest, I’ve never watched Good Doctor although I loved both Moon Chae Won and Joo Won. All I know is that the drama is all about doctors. Anyway, I’ve thought of a plot involving switching faces and how from that, a story will be created. I’ve added arrange marriage because to be honest, I have a feels for them (that is, before AFF was supersaturated with arrange-marriage fics). From there, Ive thought of making a second male lead as a friend helping the heroine with her struggle, but I’ve thought it too dull. I never really planned on making the doctor her love interest, but after some thoughts, why not? It would be a challenge to write. This is actually my first story and I never really thought about the number of chapters. I never really planned ahead during that time. I was full of daydreams and what ifs, that I became too excited to make it a reality, a story. Looking back, I realized how “short” my chapters are since 3-5 chapters actually happened in just a day. From there, I tried to learn how to balance scenes with my other stories. I knew how tiring it must be to read a long story T__T but since I started Imposter this way, I have to continue with what I have and improve the balancing of scenes till the end. I’ve thought of revamping after completing, and hopefully can publish it in the future 
JESLEN #7
Chapter 75: 1/5
oh my goodness. I didnt realize my review is up, but i saw it when I played a little with google search. Im so sorry for the late pick up!
Anyway for the title, I agree that some may not find it attractive enough, but for now, you're right that I should stick with it since the end is near. I will definitely think of a more mysterious title once I’ve completed and revamped the story. For the graphics, I’m glad someone pointed out the different symbolism it held. The graphic artist definitely understood what the story is all about. I couldn’t ask for more, and we’re the same! Aside from the beauty, I appreciate an artwork more if the artist can imbed hints and important symbolisms. I understand what you’re trying to point out with the trailers. Actually, I requested trailers when the story is only starting. I only gave brief description to the video artists, without giving them the little big reveals. The trailers are actually their interpretation with what little summary I gave them.
yeolsbubbletea
#8
Chapter 77: Oh, and I'm interested about the details of my grammar mistakes. I wish to talk a bit more about it :)
yeolsbubbletea
#9
Chapter 77: Thank you for the review and sorry for the late thank you :) It's a relieve that I can make characters and the plot well, but of course it's a disappointment that reviewer-nim didn't enjoy reading my story 'that much'. Based on your building critiques, I guess I have to learn more and develop a more well established story that can leave a very good taste of the story. It makes me reflect a lot on my own story and reminds me that I still have a lot to improve.
I hope everything will go well for this review shop. Have a nice day! :)